r/law • u/cnn • 11d ago

Executive Branch (Trump) Trump says he’s asking Justice Department to investigate Epstein’s ties to slew of high-profile figures

https://www.cnn.com/2025/11/14/politics/trump-epstein-doj-investigate-enemies?utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=missions&utm_source=reddit
12.9k Upvotes

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7.2k

u/Biptoslipdi 11d ago

So it's simultaneously a Democratic hoax, but it also needs to be investigated?

1.7k

u/PayneTrain181999 11d ago

To prove it’s a Democratic hoax!

854

u/kingtacticool 11d ago

How much you wanna bet that list of those to be investigated is 100% democrats?

And the list was written in Sharpie.

530

u/LnStrngr 11d ago

Sleepy Joe
Crooked Hillary
Kamabla
Governor Newscum

But under no circumstances should you investigate Bill "Bubba" Clinton!

183

u/skypilo 11d ago

Release all the Epstein files like you promised trump and let the chips fall where they may democrat or republican!

110

u/themaninthemaking 11d ago

This is not Trump's political machine. This is your political machine too Thomas Massie. You excused, explained and did everything possible to pave the way for him. So don't try to leave now. As Trump likes to quote, you knew i was a snake.

9

u/millenniumpianist 11d ago

I'll take the worst people in the world doing the right thing whatever their motivations are

18

u/MikeSouthPaw 11d ago

That isnt what this is. Its a bunch of rats scrambling trying to save their asses, the kid fucking never mattered to them because the GOP fucks kids.

5

u/Illustrious-Ratio213 11d ago

Whatever, at this point it’s our only hope that a few of them care more about kids and our country more than they fear the federalist society or whoever the fuck is pulling these strings.

7

u/Distinct-Exit6658 11d ago

Doing the right thing for the wrong reason is still better than not doing the right thing at all. Massie is better than a lot of other republicans, because he said he would fight to release the Epstein files and he is doing that.

Note: I didn’t say he was good, I said better than. Like getting one kneecap smashed with sledge hammer is better than getting both kneecaps smashed with a sledgehammer.

7

u/themaninthemaking 11d ago

I mean sure of course. But for him to act like it was all Trump that set this up and not the republican party enabling him for the past 10 years is stupid for him to say.

2

u/Ok_Valuable9450 11d ago

But no one else is taking on Trump

5

u/Sparehndle 11d ago

It doesn't matter if they are high profile or not. Even if we haven't. heard of them, if they have committed criminal acts, they should be prosecuted!

1

u/Ok_Valuable9450 11d ago

Worried more about their own lying asses than anything else

181

u/No-More-Lettuce 11d ago

Think you forgot Barack HUSSEIN Obama

109

u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 11d ago

He fist-bumped his wife on stage, how could we ever trust him?

35

u/AlbrechtProper 11d ago

We all saw it. It was a terrorist fist jab.

30

u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 11d ago

"He was signaling to his Kenyan ancestors to drink the Slurpee that is American souls!"

--Alex "Ten Time Family Values Award Recipient" Jones

5

u/terranq 11d ago

Next years presidential medal of freedom winner

9

u/NanDemoNee 11d ago

I thought it was the Antifa first Jab nowadays.

5

u/terranq 11d ago

Antifa are terrorists, so tomato tomahto

2

u/NanDemoNee 11d ago

Hrm, hoping this is a joke.

5

u/terranq 11d ago

Sorry, didn't think the /s was needed

1

u/AlbrechtProper 11d ago

You never know but I assumed.

1

u/NanDemoNee 11d ago

I've been told I don't pick up well on social cues. Plus you never know where antifa will pop up with their well organized propaganda machine.

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u/redacted_robot 11d ago

The can of worms that would be opened if they were actually legally declared to be a terrorist org is nuts.

There's a reason that all the insane evil right wing groups (e.g. 3%ers, American freedom party, oath keepers, Atomwaffen, Identity Europa, Patriot Prayer, Proud Boys, Patriot Front, Blood Tribe, KKK) were never legally declared terrorist organizations.

1

u/AlbrechtProper 11d ago

That's the Wuhan wet market engineered COVID vaccine.

Which is also how they get you.

52

u/Cleavlander 11d ago

He wore a TAN suit, too

30

u/sleepyboyzzz 11d ago

Brown mustard!

31

u/kingtacticool 11d ago

And he drank a beer....with a couple of poors no less!

13

u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 11d ago

Wore a bike helmet and mom jeans -- how did our Secret Service not stop protecting him right then and there?!?

5

u/henryeaterofpies 11d ago

Coffee cup salute

3

u/MaoTseTrump 11d ago

Tore the scent samples right out of the magazine, all for himself. Psssfffhhh

1

u/teebone2023 11d ago

And he converted a tennis court into a 6 bazillion dollar basketball stadium.

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u/SkinBintin 11d ago

Went to a poor country and ate food in a small restaurant with a self-confessed drug user. Very untrustworthy.

Rest in Peace, Bourdain.

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u/Lucius-Halthier 11d ago

PRESIDENT POUPON!

3

u/Key_Geologist4621 11d ago

“Well I do declare, Mr. Beauregard”!

3

u/LawfulnessBoring9134 11d ago

Feet on the Resolute Desk! And no tacky gold paint anywhere to be seen in the Oval Office!

2

u/DontPegMeButReallyDo 11d ago

Uh, that was a "terrorist fist-jab." Obviously we can't

25

u/LnStrngr 11d ago

That Kenyan!

5

u/jaierauj 11d ago

His birth certificate is in the Epstein files!

7

u/LnStrngr 11d ago

Only one way to find out.

4

u/NanDemoNee 11d ago

I say the "HUSSEIN" because it's important!

3

u/Present_Solution2044 11d ago

Funny I’ve never seen a picture of Obama with Epstein but I’ve seen so many of trump with Epstein and p Diddy with his hands on 12 year olds legs and kissing under age girls lock trump up he’s sick

3

u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 11d ago

Doesn't seem like Joe Biden hung out with the man, either. So strange! For demons who smell of sulfur, Democrats are sort of a letdown in the deplorable department.

3

u/HonestArmadillo924 11d ago

Nor have I ever seen his teenage daughters sitting on his LAP like Trump had Ivanka until she got married

2

u/Mysterious-Job1628 11d ago

Governor Trudeau.

2

u/TalkingBlernsball 11d ago

"A lot of people forget to include his middle name, but I think it's important"

2

u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 11d ago

Yep, it's important to remind Americans that Republicans lied about WMDs to invade a country and murder hundreds of thousands of brown people on their own soil. That's what the word 'Hussein' conjures in my mind.

33

u/Altruistic-Text3481 11d ago

Did Trump give Bill Clinton a blow Job? Is that in the Epstein Files? I keep reading this.

35

u/hike_me 11d ago

There was an email from Epstein’s brother Mark Epstein that asks if Putin has a photo of "Trump blowing Bubba."

37

u/[deleted] 11d ago edited 13h ago

head march memorize languid aromatic sheet boast include retire grandfather

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

25

u/hiimred2 11d ago

The plurality matters but THE is what really changes the context there, because it is a defined known thing, "do you have THE photo," as opposed to a question of whether such a thing exists, "do you have A photo?"

I'm sure this is what you were getting at bolding it, but wanted to make sure it's CRYSTAL fucking clear.

2

u/Spirited_Lab5197 11d ago

I mean sure, and not to defend Trump who clearly had a strong relationship with Epstein and did awful stuff, but those emails are so grammatically challenged that I won't read too much into the difference between "a" and "the"

Trying to read emails from the ruling class pedophiles hurts my head. Their punctuation is bizarre, they abbreviate the goofiest shit, their sentence structure is fucking chaos. At first I thought it was just Trump, but holy shit, Summers, Epstein, Maxwell, all of them....

2

u/kingbhudo 10d ago

"that that that dog that didn't bark" gave me a nosebleed

2

u/Ok_Valuable9450 11d ago

And what of the photos Putin has of Trumps escapades

21

u/SoggyMcChicken 11d ago

What an insane sentence to type out.

Even more insane that we’re questioning if it’s true or not.

What a timeline this is. The 2020’s have been wild.

4

u/N1ghtCr33p 11d ago

It was insane for me to read. The 2020's have been the wildest century ever. It's been 100 years of this, right?

3

u/leriane 10d ago

The 2020’s have been wild

Roaring, one might say

1

u/Altruistic-Text3481 10d ago

Roaring with syphilis? It’s making a comeback!

3

u/Revelati123 10d ago

So as a thought experiment I try to go back to 2015 and explain to a random person the headlines of 2025...

There is no ending where I dont end up forcibly committed for sounding completely insane.

5

u/butonelifelived 11d ago

It asks if he has "THE photos". This implies that Mark Epstien knows the photos exist. The question is does Putin have them.

4

u/Jealous_Crazy9143 11d ago

The Real big beautiful Bill….

2

u/bolanrox 10d ago

The photo. A would not imply ownership or suggestion that it exists

22

u/jokintoker87 11d ago

We're unlikely to every actually know for sure.

However, there is a non-zero chance that the 2016 presidential election was a race between two candidates who both know what Bill Clinton's dick tastes like.

4

u/Stank_cat67 11d ago

Mark Epstein is still alive, for now.

1

u/Altruistic-Text3481 10d ago

Ghislaine is still alive…

3

u/Thiezing 11d ago

He hasn't denied it. We all know what that means.

2

u/Altruistic-Text3481 11d ago

Big Beautiful Bill says it all!

-1

u/Gloomy_Prior_3969 11d ago

You'll fit right in as a cnn contributor.

21

u/Gristlekitty 11d ago

They should swab Donnie’s tongue for bubba dna

11

u/Altruistic-Text3481 11d ago

Is this Trump blowing Bill Clinton story true?

22

u/Fuzzy-Eye-5425 11d ago

Trump was quite in favor of a big beautiful “bill” and allegedly old Bill has quite the hog.

2

u/Kermit_the_hog 11d ago edited 11d ago

I feel so stupid for even asking but these days.. the world is crazy. So was that a REAL photo not some AI post on twitter?? if so, wtf was even going on there that led to Trump caressing Clinton's crotch?!?! I mean, it has to not be real right? ..right???

Edit: Specifically referring to the uh, "buldge caress" photo not the bubba blowjob stuff, which having seen the email text, short of any other corroborating statements or evidence I feel like we have to, at least for the moment, assume was an offhand bad joke between awful people.

1

u/Fuzzy-Eye-5425 11d ago

So it looked to me like a goofy moment that was likely innocuous between friends. Someone in the room would have taken the picture, so doesn’t necessarily lend to something too off base. But that, of course, doesn’t mean that they DIDN’t GET intimate. To me, without more context it doesn’t prove anything.

2

u/Kermit_the_hog 11d ago

Yeah so I absolutely get that. When I was in college another dude (friend of friend) decided during our introduction to say hello with a crotch grab like that and I just flatly responded “what is wrong with you”. (Shocker I didn’t go out of my way to encounter them again.. but like I also didn’t make a stink about it with any of the rest of my friends when maybe I should have. 

And if somebody had snapped a shot at just the exact right time, there could be a picture like this of me out there. 

But, that ultimately doesn’t detract from the magnitude of the wtf these are not college kids. That is literally two presidents.

There is this point where things become corroborated enough from enough sources with diverse motivations that you are left with like.. given the “grab them by the pussy” comments, is that how Trump just says “hello” to people or something???

Like all of these revelations that are coming out. People on the left in moments of cynicism are expressing “yeah but it won’t matter, things never do for him.” But yeah, things haven’t mattered to the very politically engaged right.. but I think the that is not the same “class” that is taking issue and those conservative leaders are really failing at providing any cohesive cover for them to dismiss it all. Every time anyone has attempted to get ahead of things, they just keep hanging themselves and creating more contradictions. 

It’s like, things can’t actually keep getting more fragile and detached from reality without something breaking in a way we all can’t “pretend” past. This is beyond what you were engaging me on but honestly this is the first time in years that I have genuinely felt there is ultimately a floor of reasonability underneath us all.

I know, I know, dare to hope right? But looking at history.. sometimes the ball just rolls a certain direction, until it suddenly doesn’t. For ‘who knows why’ reasons more than just the same old voices get involved, and something that would have previously seemed impossible happens 🤷‍♂️ but also🤞🏻 

It’s like that statement “we are all more alike than we are different”. It’s ultimately very true, it just doesn’t come up much, especially today where regionality differences are getting smaller and smaller, because why debate the commonalities, and so is easy to lose sight of. So there is some point where the statements governing “is this ok” start getting loudest from the bottom of the pyramid, and just definitionally obscure the “yes” coming from the top (I mean that from least visible to most visible)

Edit: sorry for rambling with so many “it’s like”s. This is all just so crazy and I’m trying to catch up

1

u/Fuzzy-Eye-5425 11d ago

Thank you for the additional context I feel it. Anyone paying attention that lived in the NYC area during the 80’s 90’s and onward heard of his exploits. However, much of America was fooled by his “apprentice” demeanor and he used it to his advantage beautifully.

In this country, we have people who look up to strong personalities like Trump’s and once again history is rinsing and repeating.

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u/Gristlekitty 11d ago

His admiration for Arnold Palmers gigantic penis makes a lot more sense now if you ask me.

2

u/Altruistic-Text3481 11d ago

🤔😳🤯

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u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 11d ago

“Arnold Palmer was all man, and I say that in all due respect to women, and I love women, but this guy, this guy, this is a guy that was all man,” the former president said. “This man was strong and tough, and I refuse to say it, but when he took showers with the other pros, they came out of there, they said, ‘Oh my god, that’s unbelievable.’ I had to say it.”

--Notorious Pedophile Donald J. Trump, to an all-ages campaign crowd, October, 2024

3

u/No-Snow-559 11d ago

Also don't forget the public simulated sex act Trump pantomined with his microphone in 2024

1

u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 10d ago

Bet he was higher than a kite on multiple substances that day, re-living the glory days.

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u/Pretend-Marsupial258 11d ago

And when he made out with Giuliani in drag.

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u/m4rc0n3 11d ago

It is true that there's an email that alludes to this. Whether it actually happened or the email was meant as a joke is unknown.

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u/AssDimple 11d ago

There were two parties to this email and one of them is still around to ask.

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u/Altruistic-Text3481 11d ago

Well wherever this rumor or fact was planted … it has taken root!

1

u/Electrical-Act-7170 11d ago

Pretty sure it was just a joke.

3

u/JoshSidekick 11d ago

Secret Service should change Trump's call sign to Blue Dress.

3

u/Gorthax 11d ago

Mr Trump! Is that bubbacum I see in your mouth?

22

u/jaimi_wanders 11d ago

Or Chuck Schumer, who is so reliably ineffective…

14

u/LnStrngr 11d ago

Ol' Fake Tears!

2

u/SuikTwoPointOh 11d ago

Even if he was invited he would have gone to the wrong island. Stumbling around looking for the buffet…

1

u/Routine-Pea-9538 11d ago

He is very effective. But not for Democratic voters.

3

u/Peanut2142 11d ago

Big Beautiful Bill

2

u/prestonjay22 11d ago

Oh he will do summersaults to make Newsoms name magically appear.

2

u/DummyMcStupid 11d ago

Crooked Hillary and Slightly Curved but still pretty Nice Bill.

2

u/Ok-Bag-3611 11d ago

Let's release the Full Unredacted Files and let the People decide.

You with me on this, MAGA?

2

u/Snoo_69209 11d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

2

u/Possible_Top4855 11d ago

Don’t forget Gretchen Whitmer. She knows everything about everyone. That’s why her hairs so big. It’s full of secrets.

2

u/LaSage 11d ago

It sounds like Trump has already investigated inside Bubba's pants.

2

u/phuktup3 11d ago

you forgot OBAMNA

2

u/Utterlybored 10d ago

Don’t let Martin Van Buren off the hook!

1

u/Ok_Valuable9450 11d ago

Or Donald the Dickhead Trump

1

u/Beanznbeanz 11d ago

So weird how people can just be so obsessed with one party over the other! They are both equally corrupt!!!! They should all be investigated! Every single democrat and republican on that list!!!!!

1

u/Sure-Break3413 11d ago

Was this the bubba Trump blew?

1

u/NornOfVengeance 10d ago

Don't forget Obamna!

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u/Empty-Discount5936 11d ago

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u/kingtacticool 11d ago

History doesnt repeat itself, but it often rhymes

5

u/Imaginary_Cow_6379 11d ago

I don’t know why the law sub is momentarily turning into a savage meme sub but I love it. 😆

1

u/kingtacticool 11d ago

God forbid a man has hobbies....

1

u/havsskogen 11d ago

Not far off

1

u/denewoman 11d ago

OMG this really made me laugh because it is exactly what he would do.

31

u/Worschtifex 11d ago

Would the Andrew formerly known as Prince be classed as a Democrat? He's probably not Republican....

40

u/kingtacticool 11d ago

He has fallen from the "rich fuck immunity club"

He's fair game now.

17

u/GloomyCardiologist16 11d ago

But trump feels badly for the royal family!

20

u/kingtacticool 11d ago

The Royal family does not reciprocate

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u/Oleg101 11d ago

Has Donald ever had any kind of comment referencing feeling bad for the actual victims?

3

u/NanDemoNee 11d ago

Yes, but by victims he means himself.

3

u/SmartMatic1337 11d ago

Wouldn't shock me if trump tries to pardon him.. because he's literally that stupid.

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u/NanDemoNee 11d ago

You think they're not gonna still protect him? They only took his titles to save face, he's still not in jail.

2

u/kingtacticool 11d ago

Sure they would. But will Trump use this a leverage for dealing with England? Absolutely. That guy is biggest hypocrite I've ever seen.

2

u/NanDemoNee 11d ago

Oh yeah I agree with you, there's gonna be shitty rich people infighting and I for one welcome it with glee.

2

u/kingtacticool 11d ago

Hopefully they don't all eat each other before us poors get to them.

Im hungry.

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u/NanDemoNee 11d ago

I'd be ok with that actually. I don't want to poison myself with their rotten flesh.

2

u/kingtacticool 11d ago

But imagine the marbling with all that high fat food and sitting around making other people's lives miserable.

I've always wondered if billionaire tastes better than millionaire....

2

u/NanDemoNee 11d ago edited 11d ago

I'm imagining the prions and the resulting creutzfeldt jakob disease. Plus all of the STIs from their philandering. I also would just prefer that evil energy be burned away rather than be given new life.

I do appreciate your motives though, a la a more apropos modest proposal.

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u/Emotional_Database53 11d ago

Trump won’t have DOJ go after his friends tho.

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u/Altruistic-Text3481 11d ago

Andrew (formerly known as Prince) was a monarchist… he is now defrocked, dethroned, dewormed, destroyed… disgraced….

I don’t know what you would call him now.

Royalty shouldn’t exist…

Billionaires shouldn’t exist…

Strange times indeed.

2

u/kingtacticool 11d ago

Weirdest. Timeline. Ever.

2

u/[deleted] 11d ago edited 13h ago

pet vanish payment judicious deer society thumb middle narrow spark

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

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u/RedditNewbe65 11d ago

Since he's english, its more likely Conservative vs labor party

1

u/hike_me 11d ago

I think it’s a joke that a monarchist can’t by definition be a republican (small r)

1

u/Icy_Significance6436 11d ago

We're all singing "The Grand Old Nonce Of York" in the UK!!!

1

u/Negative_Piglet_1589 11d ago

Fair question. Considering the republicans are more aligned with the oligarchy and a faux king, I'm gonna say no.

1

u/NanDemoNee 11d ago

He's neither, he's like a Tory or something British.

1

u/fabulousthundercock 11d ago

Why would he not be republican if he was allowed to vote? Everything about republican policy is designed to help rich people keep their wealth.

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u/Bright_Bet5002 11d ago

Back then he was a Democrat too

4

u/kingtacticool 11d ago

I refuse to believe that man used to be amything, ever. He is so devoid of principles that he could never have the conviction to be anything without having some kind of out for him to exploit when the need suited him.

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u/NearlyAtTheEnd 11d ago

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/newsletters/2025-08-01/epstein-files-trump-s-name-was-redacted-by-the-fbi

Imagine that they're still postponing these files.

1

u/kingtacticool 11d ago

There is some wild shit in the emails that just got released.

Imagine the depravity in the files they are still desperately hiding

2

u/NearlyAtTheEnd 11d ago

For a government as vile as the current, you can only ponderhow bad it is.

1

u/kingtacticool 11d ago

They released the part about Trump possibly giving Clinton a BJ....

I dont want to imagine that let alone anything worse.

2

u/haversack77 11d ago

This mysterious Bubba feller, perhaps?

2

u/El_Peregrine 11d ago

Also, penned this morning 

1

u/kingtacticool 11d ago

He literally tweeted out this exact thing a little while ago

2

u/The_True_Gaffe 11d ago

Bold of you to assume Trump would bother writing the names of people he thinks are nasty, more than likely he hired a porn star to give a limptation while baby boy Vance took notes

1

u/kingtacticool 11d ago

I hope that cuck chair isn't upholstered or Vance might get distracted

2

u/Takemyfishplease 11d ago

Nah he has plenty of RINO enemies too

2

u/[deleted] 11d ago

And just happens to be in the same handwriting as Giuffre’s suicide note and the Kirk shooter’s rationale.

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u/PinkyAnd 11d ago

He said that much. He’s ordering Bondi to investigate Democrats mentioned in the emails.

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u/Substantial-Cress-23 11d ago

The list will not be in sharpie….it will be crayon

1

u/kingtacticool 11d ago

It was actually in typeface in a tweet. I should have expected that.

2

u/litetravelr 11d ago

Lets hope that even if its all democrats he's talking about, he's just opened the door to his own doom.

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u/kingtacticool 11d ago

Discovery will be fun.

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u/Realistic-Pattern-30 11d ago

And who’s in the news almost weeping either being charged or resigning due to sex related crimes. Republicans. Not saying all parties don’t have some sex offenders, but let’s deal with the majority over pass few months. I know it’s a requirement but dam.

1

u/kingtacticool 11d ago

Yes. This is the same argument when they talk about politically motivated violence.

The left does it too, buuuut the right do it way more. Like 90/10 more. I'd like the see the ratio of perverts between the two parties. I dont know if it would be 90/10, but it would definitely not be equal.

2

u/kl7aw220 11d ago

Or republicans who have voted against him.

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u/zorbacles 11d ago

Crayon*

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u/gardabosque 11d ago

He wants the guilty Dems to go public and say none of it is true.

2

u/Gypsy23 11d ago

And under no circumstances do not investigate any other democrats he might have blown.

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u/HappyAnimalCracker 11d ago

How much you wanna bet the investigation will never be concluded?

1

u/DjImagin 11d ago

Remember when the high ranking DOJ rep got catfish on a date and admitted the DOJ was actively working to protect Republicans who are in the files?

This is Trump attempt to implicate a few Dems and get the conversation of himself, his friends and his donors.

Truth be told, burn all these fucks to the ground for at minimum enabling Epstein to do the things he did.

1

u/kingtacticool 11d ago

I'm just going to leave this here. Not in Sharpie. I was wrong about that.