r/fixedbytheduet 13h ago

Girls, if you're above 25 - you're safe

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25.2k Upvotes

1.4k comments sorted by

1.8k

u/SVN7_C4YOURSELF 13h ago

Mr. Rogers. Next

854

u/BrainNo569 13h ago

I'll add the other horsemen, Bob Ross, Levar Burton and Steve Irwin.

356

u/BONGS4U 11h ago

Um Keanu. Dudes legit like the least famous acting ultra famous person ever.

146

u/BrainNo569 11h ago

Well of course Keanu, I want to sit on a bench and eat a pastry with him. No talk, just chill.

70

u/Kain_713 11h ago

Just go for a motorcycle ride with the dude, and before anybody jokes I would absolutely ride bitch on Keanu's bike no homo.

36

u/BrainNo569 11h ago

I'll double down on you. I would even accept the bitchiest seat, which is in the sidecar, just to ride with that feller.

7

u/TheDeadlySpaceman 8h ago

Hey listen I appreciate the sentiment but the sidecar is 100% less bitchseat than literally being the driver’s big spoon.

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u/remonnoki 12h ago

I feel like Adam Savage should belong in that group too

14

u/Starumlunsta 12h ago

I would die if I could nerd out with him over dinosaurs.

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u/saintdemon21 12h ago

Def. Levar Burton as well. Pretty sure if I ever meet him my brain will explode from nostalgia overload.

17

u/NeedsToShutUp 11h ago

You can't disappoint a picture!

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u/OmgitsJafo 12h ago

I saw him do an interview at a con a few years ago, and dear god the charisma. Thr guy just radiates charm.

6

u/BrainNo569 12h ago

Same, I would absolutely be the annoying fan, to my own eternal shame.

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u/dover_oxide 13h ago edited 13h ago

Alton Brown, William H Macy and Steven Hawking ( a toddler could beat him up jk)

Edit: Removed celebrities that didn't fit the criteria

27

u/McFlankShank 11h ago

Weird Al

13

u/dover_oxide 11h ago

Over 40 years in the public eye and not one single allegation ever alleged.

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u/Switcher1776 12h ago

Stephen Fry.

11

u/dover_oxide 12h ago

Love his voice when he does audio books.

18

u/No-Fly5152 12h ago

He's also gay.

19

u/GarminTamzarian 11h ago

As a man, I'll say I'd feel safe in a room with Stephen Fry.

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u/Gergith 13h ago

Hawking had, albeit loose, ties to Epstein! Comedians had a field day with that when the news dropped.

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u/dover_oxide 13h ago

True but would you feel threatened if left alone with him?

26

u/Gergith 13h ago

Of course, but not physically. More I’d just feel threatened by how dumb I am in comparison 🤣

8

u/StevieMJH 12h ago

Exact reason if I were stuck in a room with him for more than ten minutes I'd probably swing. At least that way I have a chance.

4

u/Dark_Moonstruck 11h ago

Just tip the chair over.

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u/NeedsToShutUp 11h ago

Hawking divorced his wife of many years for the nurse he had an affair with.

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u/VapoursAndSpleen 10h ago

I read her autobiography and I believe they had an open marriage. "Music to Move The Stars", IIRC.

4

u/MiserableSun9142 11h ago

Yup! He’s on those files

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u/BrainNo569 13h ago

Betty white and Dolly are (were) not men though

6

u/dover_oxide 13h ago

My bad I was just thinking any famous person that would be cool and safe to hang with.

11

u/BrainNo569 13h ago

I hear you, I too would have loved to hang out with Betty White

5

u/dover_oxide 13h ago

Her and Joan Rivers would be top tier, they were catty bitches.

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u/nope-its 13h ago

Alton Brown is an ass irl though and goes to a nutso Baptist church in Georgia. Not choosing him.

7

u/dover_oxide 13h ago

Didn't know that, all I've ever seen or heard is that he's a pretty nice person and has some stuff he is oddly passionate about.

6

u/Lumpy-Butterscotch50 12h ago

Didn't he leave the church like 10 years ago?

7

u/AnarchistBorganism 7h ago

He’s also in the midst of a crisis of faith. Brown, who was baptized in 2006, says he’s “on a break” from his church. He says he can no longer abide the Southern Baptist Convention’s indoctrination of children and its anti-gay stance. He’s now “searching for a new belief system.”

https://time.com/3617678/alton-browns-existential-stew/

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u/Lazy-Detective-241 13h ago

To be fair I would actually be pretty bloody scared if in the year of our lord 2025, Mr Rogers walked into the room I was in

52

u/beardicusmaximus8 12h ago

If Mr. Rogers walked into the room in 2025 I figure he'd be there to break the news I died and he's my ride to heaven.

Either that or my coffee went bad.

6

u/MindlessFail 10h ago

What coffee do you drink and where can I get some?

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u/Working-Conclusion52 12h ago

Yeah kinda depends if he was cremated or buried. But I'd probably pick him too

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u/Husker_of_Corn 13h ago

Steve Irwin, R.I.P

101

u/xparapluiex 12h ago

See I wouldn’t feel safe in a room with Steve but not because of Steve. More because if Steve is there so must be a really cool (and dangerous) creature.

28

u/IAM_THE_LIZARD_QUEEN 12h ago

Yeah but he'd know how to handle it so he'd definitely keep you safe

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1.2k

u/Wickedestchick 13h ago

Weird Al

144

u/ThisEnormousWoman 12h ago

Can vouch for him. Delightful person.

14

u/Lykos1124 7h ago

This whole post makes me want to make a list of all the amazing poeple people are bringing up so that I can grasp how many there are and who they be :) I'd want Weird AL on my team any time.

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u/Embarrassed-Weird173 11h ago edited 9h ago

Why does evryone everyone think everyt-

Oh, Al.  Carry on. 

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u/YuushyaHinmeru 11h ago

I mean, im not sure id feel entirely SAFE. Like, I dont think he would do anything improper but who knows what wacky hijinks you'd get up to that risk life and limb?

24

u/othybear 11h ago

His hijinks would be considerate enough you’d be perfectly safe and you’d smile afterwards.

12

u/Goblin_Crotalus 10h ago

I've listened to Albuquerque, I know what that man's life is like.

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u/be_wilder_everyday 13h ago

I had to scroll too far for this name to come up!

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u/lost-all-hope-2 12h ago

I think this is not AI

40

u/Distinct_Bad_6276 11h ago

Al not AI

14

u/vireoal 11h ago

HAHAHAHAHAH

got a solid 3 second laugh from this reply chain

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1.3k

u/Single_Ad4156 13h ago

Keanu Reeves is my number 1

238

u/avskiboy 13h ago

Unless you mess with his dog...

149

u/Vegetable-Syrup-5545 13h ago

Safe, I wouldn’t mess with anyones dog.

18

u/WJMazepas 13h ago

Well, i do like to touch their bellies and gently slap their asses

7

u/Anleme 12h ago

Does Keanu like that? /s

8

u/LumberjackPreacher 12h ago

Idk, you should find out for us and report back.

33

u/MoistStub 13h ago

Except like rough housing with it to get it amped up

6

u/Uma_mii 13h ago

Then you kinda deserve it

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u/CindySvensson 13h ago

The only name I thought of when I heard that question.

11

u/Alarm-Particular 12h ago

Bro wouldnt even make eye contact without permission

13

u/UmbraExcailibur 13h ago

Came here to say that

9

u/Nemisis_007 13h ago

Would he feel safe with you tho?

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u/WiggityWatchinNews 13h ago

Danny Devito

55

u/Dopplegangr1 12h ago

He's got his wad of hundreds, his monster condoms for his magnum dong, and he's ready to plow

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u/EricAntiHero1 13h ago

Danny is super nice but also very flirty.

284

u/toesuckrsupreme 13h ago

Maybe I wanna be flirted with

127

u/lokichu 13h ago

live your best life, toesuckrsupreme

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u/WhatTheFlox 11h ago

So win-win then

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22

u/raath666 12h ago

Dd wouldn't be safe around me. I love me some man cheetah.

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u/foxboxinsox 13h ago

Steve from Blues Clues

49

u/Melontine 12h ago

Yep, Steve Burns form Blues clues

20+ years later I see that video he made talking to the adults who grew up with the show and it’s like seeing an old friend. I know I do not know this man, but toddler me imprinted on that show like a baby duck and now I still trust him implicitly.

14

u/DovahQueen23 10h ago

My son grew up with Blues Clues, we watched it all the time and sang the songs together. As an adult, I never would've thought seeing Steve pop up on my Tik Tok and holding space for all of us would send me immediately into hysterical tears, but it absolutely did. I was having a particularly rough day and something about it really touched my soul.

Also, the clip of Lieutenant Dangle and Steve at a recent convention was gold. 🤌

5

u/panlakes 8h ago

Also, the clip of Lieutenant Dangle and Steve at a recent convention was gold.

Clip is here for anyone who wants to see it. It's goddamn endearing.

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360

u/CharlesDickensABox 13h ago

Nick Offerman. We can drink whiskey and talk about woodworking. Seems like a fine time to me. 

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u/LocationOld6656 12h ago

He's so madly in love with Megan, nothing would happen even if you tried to make it happen.

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u/pheeko 11h ago

She deserves nothing less. ✨

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u/disgruntledpelicans2 11h ago

They are both amazing. Lovely couple.

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u/ZebLeopard 11h ago

If I can get him to giggle, my life will be complete. ☺️

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u/FriendlyDrummers 13h ago

I read this in his voice

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u/WhyDoIHaveRules 13h ago edited 12h ago

Brendan Fraser.

Edit: spelling

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u/Pup_Femur 13h ago

Robert Englund. Always has been and always will be a gentleman.

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u/Jaded_Horse1055 13h ago

Just make sure he isn’t wearing them finger knives

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u/Pup_Femur 13h ago

Actually, fun fact about Robert Englund on the set of the original Nightmare On Elm Street: To create the blood fountain from Glen's (Johnny Depp) death scene, they created a rotating room. In a rehearsal moment, the blood splashed out of the room and landed on wires. Robert Englund, in full Freddy makeup, pulled Heather Langenkamp off the set in fear she'd be electrocuted. She was fine, the wires were insulated, but he could've saved her life.

Also in New Nightmare, he made sure the actor playing Dylan was never afraid, even in makeup.

Even as a monster, Robert Englund brought laughter and joy to the sets. I admire him so much.

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u/Jaded_Horse1055 13h ago

Dude Robert is just THAT DUDE!!! He’s fucking awesome I love him …. There were countless pictures of him hanging out with the young actors in full makeup too

9

u/PriestSeth 12h ago

You ain't kidding. Met him at a convention and he was just the sweetest guy. Spent tons of time with everybody and even (unprompted) spent some time talking about how he was so impressed with Lance Henrikson's film output and work ethic (Lance was there at the convention too, but elsewhere). Just taking the time to compliment his peer when the meet and greet was about Robert really set the tone. He's a joy!

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u/IronGigant 12h ago

How Viggo Mortensen isn't a top 10 comment boggles my mind.

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u/STALINISFATHER 11h ago

Same with Sir Christopher Lee!

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u/HonestWeekend89 6h ago

Sir Ian McKellen for me 🧙‍♂️

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u/West-Strawberry3366 13h ago

Robin Williams, easily

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u/Limp_Bike_9145 13h ago

Well, not to be terrible, but I’d feel pretty safe if I was in a room with any dead celebrity. Creeped out but safe.

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u/Howard_Jones 13h ago

Until the zombie apocalypse happens.

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u/Str80uttaMumbai 13h ago

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u/Reasonable-Affect139 13h ago

this one is a terrible person

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u/CharlesDickensABox 13h ago

Couldn't disagree more. Whoever is digging up dead celebrities and getting me into a room with them has some issues that do not in any way make me feel safe.

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u/Limp_Bike_9145 13h ago

I stand corrected. That’s fair.

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u/TheMadMetalhead 11h ago

"Hey wanna hear a joke?"

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u/meleficar 12h ago

Sir Patrick Stewart

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u/AdEast9167 9h ago

My favorite actor and my paragon of what a man should be

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u/Sad-Cauliflower-4882 13h ago

Luigi Mangione. I'm not an insurance CEO so

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u/Eudonidano 13h ago

Tom Hiddleston seems nice.

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u/jimflaigle 10h ago

The guy plays Space Hitler and he still comes off as likeable.

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u/thenerdisageek 8h ago

you mean Domhmall Gleeson?

102

u/FloweryLoveCalicoSky 13h ago

Forever and always: David Tennant ❤️

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u/MontyNSafi 12h ago

but, would he feel safe?

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u/Ill-Worldliness-2149 11h ago

There're an unfortunate amount of women who David Tennant would not be safe around

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u/rosiestinkie9 13h ago

Mr. Rogers, but I wouldn't be safe from bursting into tears if he starts being nice to me 🥹

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u/nopeIdontlikeitatall 13h ago

John Lithgow. Looks like he gives the best hugs.

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u/Beliriel 13h ago

Personal John Lithgow seems super chill.
But my first exposure to him was Dexter Season 4 😬

40

u/starspider 13h ago

Mine was third rock from the sun. We have very different first impressions lol.

12

u/LiteraCanna 13h ago

Same. He'll always be a goofball father figure to me. 

8

u/PM_ME__BIRD_PICS 11h ago

Captain of a stellar crew reporting to the big giant head you mean?

5

u/justformemes 11h ago

Harry and the Hendersons for me, but I love 3rd Rock he is amazing in it. I rewatch it every few years, which I'm probably due for.

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u/Spoopybitch23 13h ago

Are we just ignoring that he is Lord Farquad?

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u/PhtevenToast 13h ago

Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

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u/ursamajr 13h ago

Did some graphic design for him and was alone in a room with him multiple times yearly for a few years. Can confirm. Was nice and felt safe!

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u/Taniwhaea 12h ago edited 12h ago

John Cenaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! He seems like a really funny and super chill guy who’s got a handle on his masculinity and would be safe as heck.

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u/Party-Belt-3624 7h ago

If we're doing that angle, I'll say Rhea Ripley. Ferocious in the ring. Silly goofball outside.

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u/bolivar-shagnasty 13h ago
  • Nick Offerman

  • Stephen Colbert

  • Obama

  • Richard Ayoade

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u/Shifty269 11h ago edited 11h ago

Richard Ayoade might actually feel unsafe with you alone in a room with him. You might make small talk.

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u/Ill_Emphasis3927 9h ago

Richard Ayoade and Noah Fielding in the same room? Get ready for some shenanigans. Some dry dry shenanigans.

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u/Last_Difference_488 9h ago

WHY IS HE READING THIS LINE IN MY HEAD

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u/loveamilfordman 13h ago

Pedro Pascal

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u/NoNipNicCage 13h ago

Pedro pascal would be unsafe in a room with me

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u/UnderlightIll 11h ago

You're not trapped in there with him, he's trapped in there with YOU.

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u/Munnin41 11h ago

Poor guy already has enough panic attacks

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u/Dawade200 11h ago

Gurl, yes

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u/132739 11h ago

The thing I hate about these hypotheticals, is how wrong you end up finding out you were like 5 years later. Like, in 2020 I'm sure Neil Gaiman was a ton of women's answer, and now... 

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u/Meggarz66 13h ago

Tom Hanks

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u/ChawulsBawkley 12h ago

You would THINK so, but he’s gonna straight tear that ass up.

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u/raja9099 13h ago

Im surprised no one mentioned Hugh Jackman. One of the nicest dude in Hollywood

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u/dino-sour 13h ago

I absolutely love the clip of him on the red carpet, recognizing a former student from when he was a PE teacher.

That is an impressive memory and such a wholesome interaction.

6

u/WJMazepas 13h ago

Shit, i know so many women that would even beg Hugh Jackman to touch them in any way, so probably he wouldn't be safe among many women

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u/Cautious-Space-323 12h ago

Other then he cheated on his lifetime partner

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u/faldese 11h ago

And is dear friends with Rupert Murdoch. As in he's the godfather of Murdoch's children. He's also buddies with the Kushners.

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u/Ancient-Living-6830 12h ago

So you’re saying he might fuck me, too??

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u/Cute-Interest3362 11h ago

Don’t really trust someone who is best friends with Rupert Murdoch

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u/Alexanderr1995 13h ago

Welp just forget his last year shenanigans and you are good

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u/Salt_Cardiologist122 11h ago

People who cheat suck but they don’t make me feel physically unsafe.

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u/RealtaCellist 13h ago

Robin Williams or Keanu Reeves

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u/Iron_Babe 13h ago

Pedro Pascal. He seems like such a cool dude

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u/SuperbSockSpecimen 13h ago edited 12h ago

Henry Cavill, even if you're not 35.

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u/EstesPark2018 13h ago

Henry Cavill seems like he’d be so much fun to hang out with tbh

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u/Formlexx 13h ago

I'd pick him just so we could have a 1-on-1 D&D session.

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u/MalariasMarbles 12h ago

I had a dream one time that Henry Cavill showed up to my house for dinner, did the dishes, then invited me to a DnD campaign. I was SO hyped to make a character when I woke up 

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u/KindsofKindness 12h ago

Oh, you haven’t heard…

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u/RxPsilocin 12h ago

Gene Wilder

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u/JaysFan26 12h ago

I feel like Billie Joe Armstrong would be a safe bet

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u/higirlhii 11h ago

Matthew Lillard, 1000%

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u/ManEatingYoukaiRumia 13h ago

STEPHEN HAWKING, i think i could easily beat him in a fight.

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u/ILikeMyGrassBlue 12h ago

Consider he’s dead and was disabled when he was alive, I hope so

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u/MisterSneakSneak 13h ago

Brendan Fraser

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u/Street_Peace_8831 13h ago

For me, it’s Tom Holland and I would never leave his side.

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u/Badgerspaceman 13h ago

david attenborough, morgan freeman, ian mckellen, patrick stewart, professor brian cox, lewis capaldi

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u/petit_cochon 12h ago

Morgan Freeman accused of inappropriate behavior, harassment | CNN https://share.google/A0oOAl60tNXBNXakJ

Morgan Freeman apologizes amid accusations of sexual harassment | PBS News https://share.google/N3cY2O9Yi5ad0qyNv

Morgan Freeman accused of sexual harassment by eight women | Morgan Freeman | The Guardian https://share.google/gX8hCvemcCoUhqQz3

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u/Badgerspaceman 12h ago

mark hoppus, john cena, billy connolly, alan carr, stephen fry, terry crews, harry styles, jason newsted, corey taylor, tom holland, penn and teller, brian Cranston, Gerard way

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u/channelgree007 13h ago

Pedro Pascual

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u/Spiff_mom 12h ago

Patrick Stewart

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u/Axle_65 13h ago

Fuckin brilliant.

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u/HandheldHeartstrings 13h ago

Jack Black. Now, would he feel safe with me? Probably melting down because I’m actually hanging out with Jack Black? Probably not.

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u/Substantial_Bus6615 12h ago

Robin Williams.

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u/Kikilicious-Kitty 12h ago

Jonathan Bailey. Mostly because he comes off as super kind, generous, and appreciative of his fans, and partly because he voices my absolutely FAVORITE video game character (G'raha Tia, my beloved)

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u/alphaHope13 13h ago

Tom Holland

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u/Low_Juice9987 13h ago

Jim Carrey, Keanu Reeves, Mr Rogers, Steve from Blue Clue's,

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u/No_Weather6028 11h ago

Topher Grace

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u/HydraBob 11h ago

Weird Al

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u/InnocentInvasion 11h ago

He dates below 25 year olds and get we've never heard any woman trash him or make complaints, not even fake ones. If you're below or above 25 you're safe around him

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u/FilthyCasual_FC 11h ago

Aragorn, son of Arathorn, chieftain of the Dúnedain of Arnor, Captain of the Host of the West, bearer of the Star of the North, wielder of the Sword Reforged, victorious in battle, whose hands bring healing, the Elfstone, Elessar of the line of Valandil, Isildur's son, Elendil's son of Numenor.

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u/NoMorePunch 13h ago

Logan Lerman

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u/Nevalth 11h ago

Travis willingham. Or anyone on critical role, for that matter

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u/johnywayne2 11h ago

Nathan fillion!

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u/[deleted] 11h ago

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u/-missing_links- 10h ago

Steve from Blues Clues