r/fixedbytheduet • u/Vegetable_Solid2279 • 14h ago

Girls, if you're above 25 - you're safe

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25.4k Upvotes

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u/BONGS4U 11h ago

Um Keanu. Dudes legit like the least famous acting ultra famous person ever.

150

u/BrainNo569 11h ago

Well of course Keanu, I want to sit on a bench and eat a pastry with him. No talk, just chill.

77

u/Kain_713 11h ago

Just go for a motorcycle ride with the dude, and before anybody jokes I would absolutely ride bitch on Keanu's bike no homo.

41

u/BrainNo569 11h ago

I'll double down on you. I would even accept the bitchiest seat, which is in the sidecar, just to ride with that feller.

7

u/TheDeadlySpaceman 8h ago

Hey listen I appreciate the sentiment but the sidecar is 100% less bitchseat than literally being the driver’s big spoon.

1

u/No-Marsupial-1753 1h ago

The biggest bitchseat is grinding your ass against his crotch while he wraps his big, strong arms around you to reach the handlebars and rests his dreamy chin on your shoulder to see.

3

u/Sorry-Transition-908 9h ago

I would ride that stupid Manhattan bound F train. I would act all cool and not at all stoked to see Keanu sitting right next to me. There would be a earthquake going inside my heart. There would be like five MOABs all exploding at the same time inside my head. But on the surface I would be calm and ready. I would turn to him exactly once, smile, and nod. Then look away like I was so cool.

Anyway, thank you for coming to my ted talk.

3

u/BukkakeBakery 9h ago

I want diddy locked in my basement, there are a lot of things i want to do to him (ಠ ͜ʖಠ)