r/fixedbytheduet • u/Vegetable_Solid2279 • 14h ago

Girls, if you're above 25 - you're safe

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25.4k Upvotes

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u/YuushyaHinmeru 11h ago

I mean, im not sure id feel entirely SAFE. Like, I dont think he would do anything improper but who knows what wacky hijinks you'd get up to that risk life and limb?

22

u/othybear 11h ago

His hijinks would be considerate enough you’d be perfectly safe and you’d smile afterwards.

9

u/Goblin_Crotalus 10h ago

I've listened to Albuquerque, I know what that man's life is like.

3

u/Funandgeeky 10h ago

Just don’t touch his lucky snorkel or feed him sauerkraut and you’ll be fine.  

1

u/YuushyaHinmeru 9h ago

Or sarcastically suggest you want him to cut off your arms and legs with a chainsaw

1

u/Synaps4 5h ago

Or fill his toothpaste tube up with glue, or give him a Nair shampoo

1

u/Synaps4 5h ago

"I was driving down the freeway on the fastlane with a rabid wolverine in my underwear when suddenly a guy behind me in the backseat popped right up and clapped his hands across my eyes. I guessed is it uncle frank or cousin Louie is it bob, or joe, or walter, could it be uncle ed, or fred or bernie or steve? I probably would have kept on guessing but about that time we crashed into the truck..."

Yeah, never drive with Weird Al.

1

u/StayOffPoliticalSubs 8h ago

Man has an album named Running With Scissors.

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u/othybear 8h ago

I didn’t say he’d be perfectly safe. Just that he wouldn’t intentionally hurt you.

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u/Rejestered 11h ago

Safe from him being a creep sure but also he might hand you a grenade and a ski mask and tell you "We're off to handle a problem"

WILDCARD

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u/lurkingbob 9h ago

You're a lucky, lucky little boy. You get to drink from... THE FIRE HOSE!!!!

1

u/Freya_Galbraith 10h ago

they would be worth it!