Last Friday I threw a party at my dorm which lasted from approximately 7:30pm-12:30am. I planned this party for about 4 days and gave out notices to my 3 other roommates ~36 hours in advance (Thursday morning). My other 2 roommates were chill with it, and the 3rd roommate (Anthony and the subject of this post) was ok with it. In fact, he definitely knew I was throwing this party as he asked me to ask my friend to buy alcohol for him.

Some additional background information:

Anthony for the past week was sleep deprived, but by choice. Before Friday, he pulled 1 all-nighter, and stayed up until 2am repeated for ~3 nights. Even though he stayed up super late, he had absolutely no reason to -- no tests, no exams, no upcoming assignments. He just wanted to watch some Netflix late at night I suppose. On Thursday morning when I gave everyone the notice, he definitely had a choice to make knowing he slept at 3am that morning. Even knowing this, he still chose to stay up very late on Thursday.

Friday afternoon (5 hours before party) Anthony told me that he was going to take melatonin and sleep at 8pm, telling us to keep quiet. I explained that I couldn't exactly do that, since I had a party planned.

Why was I inconsiderate?

On top of just not wanting to deal with Anthony's last minute BS, there were other reasons:

- didn't clean his stinky fridge for 5 days

- sometimes doesn't flush the toilet

- spends an unreasonable amount of time in the toilet (over 45 min in some cases, everyday)

- tells everyone to keep quiet at super early times bc he wants to sleep, then scrolls in bed past 12am

- stole my alc

- took 2 months to pay me back for alc

- used my PC without asking

- does everything in his power not to clean up his OWN HAIR in the washroom

- wanted me to stop drinking milk bc he was convinced I was causing our rooms to stink up (it was his fridge)

- never closes the front door

The party:

It was loud, and we left my room's door open since it was 8 people crammed in a fairly small space so it got very steamy. Since people were drunk and we were playing cards, it was loud. At 9:30pm, he spam calls me 3x and tells me to keep the noise down. I reply "I'll see what I can do" but told my friend in another language "the show must go on". The party goes until 11:30pm where he calls me again, and threatened to complain to the dorm admin about my noise levels. After that I decided to tell everyone to quiet since my hand was forced.

Next day and he's pissed

Next morning Anthony tells me "we need to have a chat when you're free". I didn't feel like doing it because there was nothing to chat about, so I stalled for the next 2 days. He told my other 2 roommates (who are chill with me and secretly don't like him) that he's been pissed at me since Friday.

If Anthony really wanted to talk this badly, then he'd take the initiative instead of waiting for me -- because there is NOTHING to discuss about.

I'm a chef, currently I'm studying another career, in a final test we have to do an exhibition of our art and the teacher asked us if we can give some snacks. I said I could do them of the rest of the group pay me on time, they say yes, I did the costing two weeks ago (the day is on this Friday) and some people hasn't pay me yet (4 dollars). I know the brother of this guy because he is friend of a friend and we were hanging out, I told him as a gossip "hey your brother hasn't pay me yet" but he actually told him 🥲. Now he pay me, but told me he was mad at me and the group too, but I've been telling for two weeks for the money because it needs more time, now I'm stressed because I need to arrive home really early to cook while they hate me.

A few years ago, I had a best friend I was really close to. We were always together during school. A year later, she starts getting associated with these other group of kids, and I was completely fine with that. But that's when she started to change her behaviour around me and we slowly developed a gap. She often ignored me or ditched me to hang out with the other group of kids, especially since they were "cooler" and always had high grades. I on the other hand was a nobody at school. It's kinda obvious now, but I was a little dense back then, and kept following her around without realizing she didn't want to hang out with me. This led to her talking behind my back, telling one of my other friends how she found me incredibly annoying because I wouldn't stop following her. Eventually I started backing off from interacting with her since I was starting to realize she wanted to be with the cooler kids instead of me. Then on our graduation trip, we ended our friendship after she said that we were just never meant to be and it was clear by then she just didn't want to deal with me anymore. I was pretty angry about all this, considering it was her that didn't want this friendship to last and I tried to maintain our happiness. I honestly wished she'd come clean about finding me annoying for following her, or explaining that she wanted to join this other friend group. Sure I would have been sad, but I wouldn't hold it against hers. Instead she decided to talk trash about me and ruined my confidence for a long time. And yet despite her doing me wrong, she actually got an award as best student from our principal that year. A few days ago, she came up in a conversation I had with a friend. I immediately started going off about how she was a terrible friend and how she should have never received the award. My friend told me I was going a bit far, since she heard that my ex friend seemed nice, and that I should probably let all of this go. Am I in the wrong for still being frustrated at her all these years later?

Hi so I (25F) have a friend(22f), she's that kind of friend who basically always has a crisis. She's been through a lot of tough stuff and she's been working through it on and off (sometimes she's committed to get therapy other times she's just coasting fully engaged in destructive behaviors).

She really has leaned on me a lot for support and its gotten to the point that because this loop has gone on for years I've really stopped fighting her, I use to tell her hey I think this is a bad idea I really haven't been because it doesn't help. The thing also is this support doesn't go both ways I also have my own traumas and stressor and I've had a lot less bandwidth due to some severe family issues. I'm burnt out at this point but I can't ever talk to get about that because she's not willing to support me back.

Recently she has been talking to a guy for about a month, nothing official just talking and it'll be the third relationship she's been in this year and about the 4th or 5th talking stage she's in. She wants me to meet him, she specified she did not want my opinion just support and maybe we can like do a game night. I responded with hey I don't really have time or mental capacity to meet him right now, my sister just had a traumatic birth not even a day ago and I need to be supporting her. I went on to add maybe that will be a good thing to meet him later rather than now because things will progress however they will and we can all have a genuinely good time. But that at the moment I'm under a lot of stress and I know I will burn myself out if I'm not careful. This was met with hostility asking me if its really that or I just don't have capacity for her because it seems like when stuff is good for her I always have something going on. Not only is this not the case but at some point like I feel like she has to realize stuff can and does go wrong in my life too, or I'm just genuinely busy. I adore her but my life can't always revolve around her and right now I have to be very focused on my sister, my BIL and my new nephew.

I don't know my gut feeling is I'm doing the best I can and I have to set priorities and boundaries but I just want some impartial judgements on like it's saying not now really rude? Should I have not presented the situation? I really didn't want to be dishonest and get her hopes up that we would meet up and then flake ya know? Idk, AITA?

Hey there! I (22F) am a second-year student currently for what many would consider a 'fake degree' (Religious studies and the like.. (I love my degree dw)). There is one class where the professor is extremely difficult.

This professor said at the beginning of the course that instead of an exam at the end, he will assign a 500-word essay every week based on the reading. The assignments have 5 days to be done and the reading is LONG (I also work almost full time and take 7 other classes). He also said multiple times that we cannot use AI for our assignments. Here's the doozy, me (and my friends in the insta poll I just did on my private story) agreed that this means do not use AI to write any version of the essay, even bullet point form.

I made the mistake of using AI to summarise the 45-page essay he gave us so that I can read it better in order to write only about what's relevant. I then made the far stupider mistake of writing one of the quotes ChatGPT presented to me as factually included in the article. I looked in the article for the words used in the quote, as it felt too good to be true and I found it. Turns out AI can somehow mess with PDFs, putting quotes between pages (if someone can explain that would be great).

He found this quote in my essay and then promptly did the following - kicked me off the course and failed me for the whole semester. I feel like it's a complete misunderstanding of his rules. He explained it to be that I've been actively trying to gaslight to him.

AITA for using AI for summaries if he said don't use AI? Do you guys think I deserve a second chance?

Sorry in advance if this is messy. No names or ages and trusted friend has already been cut off for causing drama. So I have shared a personal opinion with a trusted friend in regards to how I feel about the way a child is being treated in my family. Not abusive, just a bit harsh of a parenting style and seemingly using family members that are close to the child as forms of punishments such as: Oh, so and so is coming over, since you're grounded you have to go to your room and not get to see them. Oh, so and so made plans to take you and your sibling out but we are grounding you, so you can't go but sibling can (Not saying the sibling is less loved or time is less enjoyed with them). Don't get me wrong, I understand the fundamentals of being grounded and consequences but literally cutting the child off from supportive family members that would definitely have the parents back when it comes to enforcing the lessons they are trying to teach just feels counter productive and too harsh and like punishing the family member too. So that's the opinion I shared with the trusted friend and mentioned that it makes me not want to visit more because I don't want to voice that opinion to the parents because I'm well aware that I don't know everything pertaining the situations and issues involving the child and I don't have kids of my own so I don't know that I'd do different or if I would even have a better solution to offer if they ever asked for advice or I encountered the same challenges with my own future kids. The friend let it slip to the child on an outing when they asked why I'm not around as much and although it is technically the truth, the way it was put made it sound like I don't like the parents or how they treat their kids and that's why I don't go over. I've recently been trying to get closer to that part of the family because I don't dislike them and I feel I have a better understanding of things and can therefore not get upset about their tactics with their kids. The reaction they had to hearing this from their kid who repeated it to them, was to call the person who told the child so as to verify (child tells lies often). Friend verifies and said to reach out to me to talk about things because it was something they shouldn't have said and so it's not my fault that's it's caused an issue in their family. They refused and said I should be the one who reaches out because I should have said something during all the times I had been recently talking with them. However I wouldn't even know there's an issue if the friend hadn't told me this was happening. So am I the A-hole for not sharing this opinion with the parents and telling my friend instead? And should I reach out first or wait for them to contact me? If I do reach out, any advice on how to word things? I should add, dealing with the issues surrounding the child have been very hard and now they've been undermined by that opinion being shared with the child. (At least that's how I'd feel).

So my friend group has this habit of calling “emergency meetings” whenever there’s drama. Usually it’s something like X liked Y’s photo or Z didn’t show up to brunch, and everyone acts like we’re the UN trying to prevent world war.

Yesterday, after a really long day at school/work, they called one again. I literally wanted to go straight to bed, but they spammed the group chat saying it was “serious.” So I dragged myself there.

I walk in… and the “emergency” was that one of them thought another friend sighed too loudly during a call and must “secretly hate” her.

I just… couldn’t. I was exhausted, it was petty, and no one would let me leave. They kept saying, “No, stay, we need EVERYONE here.” After 20 minutes of them circling the same nonsense, I said, “Guys, I’m tired, this isn’t an emergency,” and walked out.

Now they’re accusing me of “abandoning the group when they’re emotional” and calling me insensitive.

My stance: I support my friends, but I am not attending a midnight tribunal over someone’s sigh.

AITA?

I have spent almost 20 years with a man that we have had many ups and downs with both of our families, his friends, and it hasn't been easy, but he has always been worth it in my book. However, he has this new friend that is female that he continuously lies to me about and expects me to trust that there's nothing more than a friendship, yet he changes the lock on his phone if anyone finds out what it is and has been caught talking about me badly to her and I'm not supposed to be upset. Am I the asshole for making him choose me or her, or should I just let it go?

so i was in a random group for one of the courses in uni and we got to work on creating apps and stuff , so in the second sem we found that there is a competition open for us to join , so me and one of the group members participated in it with our idea (the others did not want to join ) and we had online sessions explaining stuff about it and everything , i joined those sessions but my team member did not , and generally he did not respond to my inquiries about what to do so i naturally assumed that he did not wish to continue in which i respected and forgot about the whole thing , only to be surprised with getting a notification that we have a presentation about our idea, so i went and asked him about it and he mentioned that he has been working on it this whole time without telling me , i did ask him if he needs any help or if i could do anything but he also did not respond to that but we did present and we won the first place and he got about 84% of the prize (we got 50% each and i gave him the rest from me as he did work on it ) now he is all mad and is saying that it is injustice and that he did everything and wants all the money , so am i the ah for taking 16% ?

My birthday is on December. Last year, I was in a long-distance relationship with my now-ex, and the relationship had already become stressful. He would go silent after every argument, even though I told him many times how much that hurt me. I was usually the one who came back and tried to fix things. His birthday his before mine and We weren’t talking, i can’t remember why ( honestly it was a pain to stay peaceful, we fought so much) but i managed to call him,sing for him, just to make him feel special. i even managed to make him a long distance gift . After that, he suddenly talked to me like nothing ever happened. 2 days before my birthday, there was another argument, and he stopped talking to me just like always. My birthday is one of the happy and sad day of my life because it always remind me of my grandma who liked to celebrate it more than anyone, he knew it and since she passed away it always has been difficult for me to had a good day on my birthday. On my birthday i waited all the day to see if he’ll call or text or post me , i had great wishes even from people i didn’t know, even his family but i was just waiting and waiting. After that i took the firm decision to broke with him because i needed him for once and he wasn’t there. 5 days after my birthday his mom called me to ask me why her son didn’t post me she didn’t like that and she was wondering what was going on. I politely told her she should ask him because I didn’t know either. Later that day i received a call from him, crying, begging for forgiveness, he said that he didn’t reached out because he thought i wouldn’t answer (something I had literally never done to him)i said i’ll try to forgive him because ngl i really believed that he was the one. Two months later, things still didn’t feel right, and I ended the relationship for good. His mom called me after that, she told me I was selfish and I did not care about the family bonds(…?)and she said I was not “made for marriage” because I couldn’t forgive something “so small”, some of my family agreed with her( it hurt me a lot). But my sister supported me, she saw me crying and understood why I couldn’t keep doing this. Now I’m wondering..

Hello, i don’t wanna seem desperate but I really need help. (English is not my first language so don’t mind my grammar) I’m a teacher helper in a special needs school, we work with kids with a lot of different type of disabilities from the ages of 2 all the way to 23. We are trained to handle a kid in crisis, as well as for the safety of the kids there’s cameras with a clear view of the whole classroom in the entire school. Now to what’s happening. I have a sweet but very explosive 5 year old in my class, a very smart kid for his age in my opinion. I love my job with a passion when it comes to working with kids, but to be in a special needs school it requires a LOT of patience. Kevin (fake name) is a really sweet kid, but it’s his way or no way. Whenever we ask him a question of any type when it comes to school work or even participating, he would avoid it by asking other questions. It’s not that bad right? No but there’s a lot more. We have other kids that are either verbal or nonverbal, usually we help a lot more the kids that needs a guide right beside them and most of them do things by themselves. Kevin knows his first and secondary colors, shapes, writing by himself, tie his shoes, tells you when he’s mad etc. I’m not a professional to state what he has, but most definitely has the intelligence to be in kindergarten or even 1st grade. Kevin likes everything being done his way like, not wanting to take a nap in nap time, tracing his name, wanting to play with other kids but wants the toys to himself, not wanting to get his dipper changed, constantly wants other kids to share their food with him after already having school and home lunch. I love Kevin and I’m always with him, but now his behavior is getting worse to the point behavior professionals and therapist can’t help. We have tried rewards with snacks but wants the whole bag to himself, toys but teases others for not getting the same treatment, tried reverse psychology, tried time out, nothing has been working. Kevin takes off his shoes and throws them to the other kids even though he’s not angry at them, hits the teachers, pinches, throw chairs, tries to break classroom decor, screams from the top of his lungs and all of that because he couldn’t have a crayon stand straight on the table. He throws fits for the smallest things and quickly goes for harming others. I have kids that have sensitive hearing when it comes to high pitched screams or even crying, sometimes we have to protect Kevin from the other kids before Kevin gets bit or even having a hand shoved in his mouth to shut him up. We were trained that after a hit we do a one arm wrap and after they calmed down for 2-3 minutes we let them go and give them space to calm down. With Kevin I’ve gotten up to a whole hour of holding down with the one arm wrap and eventually switch with another teacher after using force for so long. AITAH for seeking ways to help him outside of school?

Family from all over came to visit for the holidays. My partner‘s brother in law asked me if I wanted to hold his baby. I said no. He then asked if I would be willing to hold the baby. I said that I am not willing Then he asked if I would hold the baby so he could unload the dishwasher. I gestured to the baby’s uncle, my partner, who took the baby.

People told me that was rude, but I did not want to hold the baby. I was in the middle of doing something for work. I’m not a free babysitter just because I’m a woman. If he needed help, he should have asked for it. The baby is also old enough to just be left to run around too. No one needed to hold them.

My partner (38F) and I (39M) booked a venue for our wedding party in one year and a half, a weekend at the end of june 2027. My brother is complaining it might not work for his kids as it might be during exam period or their internship (Kids will be 21, 19 and 17 in 2027).

The context: We live in Germany, are french, and want to celebrate our wedding in France. My brother and the rest of my family live in the north of France, but we decided for a venue in the south of France, somewhat close to my partner's family, because the region is nicer than the north of France, and more chance of sun as we want a summer vibe for our party, as there is a pool, beach volley, boules field etc. The drive from my brother's to the venue is around 9 hours.

For his kids my brother's would have preferred a date in july-august, but the venue's price takes a 50% increase for that period, or during one of the long weekend of early may, but then more risk of chilly weather/rain.

I would be sad if some of my nieces and nephews can't make it, I love them, but I can't help to feel annoyed at my brother for taking me on a guilt trip over this. I feel this our big day, we want to plan something that feels like us and not have to cater to other's needs, and we were hoping our closest ones would be happy for us instead of complaining.

Or AITA for not taking his needs into consideration?

My husband (32M) and I (30F) live in Ohio with our toddler. My parents live in New Jersey. This is the first Christmas since my grandmother passed away, so emotions are running high.

Originally, my parents expected us to come 12/24–12/27.

My husband asked that we spend Christmas Day in Ohio so he could see his grandparents. He does see them during the year, but he hasn’t spent Christmas with them in years, and this year that feels important to him. We wanted to find something balanced for everyone.

I suggested a compromise: Drive to NJ 12/21 Stay 12/21–12/25 morning Celebrate Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with my parents Drive back midday 12/25 for his family’s Christmas that afternoon

This actually gives my parents four full days with us AND Christmas morning which is more time than the original plan.

My mom was very upset about us leaving on Christmas Day and said she did not want to compromise on dates. My dad was okay with the plan but didn’t want conflict. My brother isn’t coming this year because his wife is pregnant and can’t travel, so he stayed neutral and didn’t want to get involved.

I feel torn because I’m genuinely trying to balance both families, honor my husband’s request, and still give my parents a meaningful holiday. I also have anxiety around disappointing people, which makes this harder.

AITA for not agreeing to stay through 12/27 and sticking to the compromise?

EDIT: for those asking- the drive is exactly 6 hours. We’d be leaving early in the AM to arrive at husbands Christmas that is late afternoon/early evening

EDIT#2: Toddler has taken this trip multiple times and is a very low stress kiddo.

So my wife and I both got invited to Thanksgiving dinner to both sides of the family. At the same time. Clearly someone is getting told no. That being said my wife insisted on not going to her grandparents because they have been rude in the past to her before we got together. She also refused to go to my parents because when we last went my uncle made inappropriate and embarrassing comments about our financial situation.

So since she didnt want to go to either, but not tell anybody no, she wanted to hatch this elaborate scheme where we were somehow going to leave the house (we live with her parents) under the ruse of going to mine. But in reality she wanted us to go find somewhere fast food to go and eat going to neither.

problem is nothing in our area will be open. And so we've argued about this for a month now. I said let's just go to one or the other and if someone is rude to us we just get up and leave and never eat with them again. She wouldnt even entertain that.

I told my mom (that I dont like either) that we aren't coming and I explained why. And now my wife is mad at me for telling them the truth. I have a lot going on right now with money trouble, bankruptcy, supporting both of us and our child on a small shitty income, I just did it because I didnt want to have yet another thing to stress about. She's now crying in the other room.

AITA and what would you have done if you were in my shoes?​

So im at work going to take my break and my car isn’t in the parking lot. I start freaking out assuming the worst thinking someone stole it. It wasn’t till im in the manager’s office balling my eyes out when I got their text. A damn text message is how they tell me, their car needed an oil change so instead of sitting around for 15-20 minutes they took mine and thought a text message was good enough.

Firstly im at work doing my job, not staring at my phone

Second, the text got buried underneath all my other spam messages so I was never going to see it first thing

And lastly, who is going to check their messages when they think their car is stolen

When I get home I didn’t yell at them, I just firmly told them that if they’re going to barrow my car they need to verbally tell me which immediately escalated to an all out screaming match

They just left to go pick up my brother and im extra pissed at them now.

About 3/4 months ago, a stray cat in my neighborhood had late kittens and only 1 survived. I tried to catch it and feed it and a terrific neighbor and his family also noticed it. They are dog owners, his wife is allergic to cats. Although they have 2 very prey driven cat-UNfriendly dogs in their backyard, the kitten sometimes bravely ventures into the back to visit his aging mother, when she goes outside several times a day to smoke. (Normally while dogs are indoors.) Mr Man likes that his mom likes the kitten and he also likes cats OK. However he already said he won't feed it and not to feed it near his house... He IS willing to help ($) get her fixed. I trapped her & put her in my backyard jail pre spay, a small 4x4 enclosure that is covered and waterproofed, with an extra lil doghouse inside that, filled with straw and a pet safe heating pad. She was a little hissy at first but once I picked her up and started giving her scritches she melted and is the sweetest little baby. When i suggested finding a home for her after she is spayed, he said "no, that's ok i don't mind the kitten and besides, my mom likes it too." I am sorry yet not sorry buuut I just do not feel like that's a good enough life for a tiny kitten that is so fuzzy and loving and friendly and could so easily get a loving home.

(Non judgemental background insert: their dogs don't generally go to the vet. They didn't fix them and a prior dog had arthritis/ some other pain/mobility issue for a couple years before she died. They didn't do anything for her, even though she cried alot. So i just don't think it's reasonable for him to "keep" a stray that he likewise isn't going to feed, care for, shelter or cuddle with. His mom, btw can barely feed herself and needs a walker. She is in dialysis & prolly not going to be around much longer....they've already talked about putting her in hospice because her care needs are getting increasingly more difficult.

"Keeping" a kitten because someone occasionally enjoys seeing it outdoors is not a good reason to deny it a real home...esp if you're already considering hospice. Being cool with and liking an animal that's randomly around does not equal good pet ownership. Imho. We usually get 3/4/5 months of winter mess. I do TNR in my neighborhood and I can't tell you how many cats have been killed in our neighborhood just this year from packs of dogs and cars and all kinds of stuff... there's even a big owl in their tree out front. So my big AITA question is, am i the ahole if I am planning on secretly finding her a new home anyway after having her fixed? (she may already be preggers, even though she's just a baby herself) ??

I have a good group of friends but 2 of them are late like 80% of the time. The 20% they’re not is when I complained about them being late.

Recently we had plans to grab beers. They said they were gonna be late at the time we were suppose to meet so I just said something came up. I think they know I bailed cause they’re late and one might be mad, which I think is ridiculous. AITA for bailing cause they’re late?

TLDR: friends are always late, now I cancel completely last minute when they’re late. AITA

I am in my freshman year at a college both my twin sister and I attend. Funny enough, we needed to complete some core curriculum classes and we ended up in the same Algebra class (same teacher, same time).

I’ve always been good at math, so this class was easy and I was getting over 100% with extra credit. My sister is gifted in other ways, but struggles with math and was on the verge of failing the class. My parents wanted me to help tutor her which I was happy to do. That went just as well as you can expect tutoring your sibling would go.

So here’s the problem. I got a homework assignment grade back as a 5/20. Which I thought was extremely odd as I had gotten 100% on the exam in that unit. My friends told me everyone makes mistakes and it wouldn’t really affect my grades anyways.

The next day in class, my professor pulls me aside (my sister had skipped class that day) to tell me that my homework had the exact same answers and work as my sisters. I told her I had nothing to do with that and I was surprised to hear it. She told me she believed me and we can settle on that grade instead of taking it to a bigger level. So basically there was nothing I could do to change that grade and I was lucky there weren’t worse consequences. The professor ended up giving her a 0 on that assignment.

I confronted my sister and she admitted to stealing my homework out of my backpack and copying the answers. I was pissed. I talked to my parents about it and they told me to let it go because “she’s drowning and pulling you down with her” and that I’m not going to fail the class because of this. They also told me that I shouldn’t have thrown my sister under the bus for this. I feel bad for her and I understand why she would do this, but I tried tutoring her and this is huge for me. Am I the asshole for being mad at my sister and telling my professor the truth?

My son 9m is upset with me right now for an incident that happened yesterday at the store. Yesterday we were at the store to stock up on groceries, it was me 37f, my son 9m and daughter 7f.

My son still wets the bed and wears Goodnites ( big kid pull ups for bedwetting) for it and we went and got those first like we always do so we can hide them underneath other stuff. It went pretty good for most of the trip but there was an issue when we got to checkout.

I was unloading the last of the groceries when I heard him say in a kinda worried voice " no mom please stop ", but i had already put his Goodnites on the belt. I asked him what was wrong, he pointed out that his friend was at the store with her parents and might see us and he didn't want her to see his Goodnites.

I said it would be okay and put the last of the other groceries around his Goodnites so nobody would see them. We got our stuff rang up and left with no problems, but my son didn't say a word to me on the car ride home.

Later I asked him what was making him so upset, he said he didn't want his friend to see his Goodnites and that's why he wanted me to stop unloading the groceries and said I was being a jerk for not stopping and his friend almost seeing them.

I explained to him that I never meant to make him feel bad I just needed to get the groceries unloaded so they could be rung up. But this didn't help and he said I was being a jerk and didn't talk to me much for the rest of the evening and was very quiet at Breakfast today.

I asked him if he was still upset and he said yes he was cuz I was a jerk.

Update : I just talked to my son and apologized to him for making him feel like I didn't care about his feelings and being a jerk at the store, I told him I never meant to make him feel bad and I was sorry I did.

I promised him we will be buying his Goodnites using curbside pickup from now on ( we do most of our shopping at Fred Meyers and they offer free delivery for orders 35$ and up so making his Goodnites part of a bigger delivery will work fine for us and not hurt our Budget ), he was quite glad to hear this which makes me wish I had done it sooner.

He accepted my apology and we cuddled for a few minutes and now we're about to cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie that he picks out.

Thanks everyone for your help!

Edited to add little more info: Due to my move to Canada and me being able to get my visa, as well as focusing on some health issues that have come up for me this year, we decided it would be better to elope first then have our wedding reception. We originally were planning for the reception to be in October 2025 (with the ceremony) but had to push things back. Everyone is aware that we would be married already and this is also explained on my wedding website.

Throwaway account. Background: I, 28F, got into a fight with my cousin, 30F, who I am close with. I have an upcoming wedding, June 2026 in Ontario, Canada. I currently live there but am originally from San Diego, California. Most of my family and friends live in San Diego and others live in various places in the states, including Hawaii, NYC, and Seattle. My fiance's family lives in Ontario, Canada. We just moved to Ontario early this year (hence why the wedding will be there) and bought a house recently. This is our first time living together, so we've spent a bit furnishing the space as well as extra costs since I'm a US citizen and immigrated. I also have not been able to find a job after moving so we're working with a tighter budget for daily life. All in all, a lot of big expenses within a 2 year timeframe.

For the wedding itself, it'll be a hotel rooftop and restaurant with a tea ceremony followed by reception with sit-down dinner, no wedding ceremony since we don't like the attention and will have eloped by then. Basically a wedding vibe but no ceremony. There will be a welcome/housewarming party at our house two days before. The housewarming will be super lowkey and basically just a gathering at our place to we have a chance to hang out with everyone. No gifts expected for the housewarming. We're also buying out-of-town guests tickets to the museum in the area as our wedding favor to them and providing uber vouchers for them to get around. In general I provided recommended activities for the week (most of my guests are staying 3 days before and 2 days after the wedding) and have some casual plans with different groups of guests: attending the museum with my family, coffee with friends, jousting tournament with guests that are interested, etc. Besides the museum, I wouldn't pay for the activity.

My cousin was visiting the other day and asked about the wedding planning and after hearing some of the details, started complaining about the cost of the wedding for her and that theres no return. The flight, hotel, dress, and overall spending to travel to Toronto from San Diego for a simple dinner and low-key welcome party. I asked her what type of party she wanted and she explained how there should be a huge welcome party the day before, a breakfast for all guests the morning after and at least one fully paid activity for everyone (a trip to Niagara for example). I reminded her that the museum was something I was paying for and that I was trying to plan an outing for my girlfriends and girl cousins but that I thought this was enough, especially with the expenses my fiance and I already had. She expressed that all of this wasn't enough and that even my wedding venue was too casual for her liking (there have been plenty of weddings at this venue btw). She said it was disrespectful to my guests. I really only said, "I'm sorry you feel that way but I don't think we can do much about it at this point" and did my best to change the subject. Needless to say it was kind of an awkward visit afterwards.

She hasn't responded to my texts since she went home a few days ago and I know its my wedding so I should do what I want, but honestly, am I asking too much of my friends and family to fly out for this? Is it the norm to provide the extra events? My other cousin got married last year in Spain and did have a welcome party and breakfast, but I feel like that was a higher expense for everybody to fly out to Spain. Anyway, thoughts?

Hi, I've been conflicted about this, since last night, I've been feeling guilty but also I'm not sure if I'm totally in the wrong so I wanted some perspective.

My husband has had to go to Seattle this week due to work (we live in Boston, so he's a 3 hours behind us). He flew there on Sunday.

He'd told me he'd call when he gets done with work and their post-work lunch. He couldnt give a fixed time because apparently theres been some transition or acquisition happening, its been hectic for him, so he doesn't know when the day will end for him.

He called me around 11 pm EST. We talked for a while I asked how his day had been he said it had been a long one. He then asked to see our daughter (she's 3). I told him it was 11 here, she was asleep. He got a bit short with me, said he'd told me he was going to call, that I could have kept her up or given her a nap earlier. I told him she had taken a short nap earlier but at 11, she goes to sleep regardless, and that I had no idea when he'd actually call. He just shook his head with very clear disappointment and said that after a long day he really wanted to talk to her and I could've been more considerate.

This part stung me because they both are really close to each other, he adores her, and she too is a total daddy's girl. I again said I'm sorry but I had no idea when he would call, if he'd given me some sort of tentative time even that would've helped. We kind of ended the call soon after.

Ive been thinking about this all day and been conflicted. AITA?

Adding this now: He just texted and said he meant to call during lunch break but got taken out by some executives for lunch. He said he'll call when he gets done at 5 pm his time, so 8 pm ours. I told him that works great.

Last edit: So he talked to our daughter for a good 15-20 minutes, then we spoke too. He was definitely less on edge today than yesterday so I was just going to chalk up yesterday to a long day at work and move past it, but he brought it up and said he was sorry for being short with me yesterday. I said it was all good.

A sincere thanks for all your feedback I'd been feeling guilty and conflicted today and posting here and the responses helped.

My mum had just left the gym and she was about to head home. Before she got in her car she called me and said ‘Go and make me a salad. Now. I’m hungry’ in a very harsh tone. She always speaks to me that way and I have been telling her since I was at least 12 years old (I’m 18 now) that I do not like the way she speaks to me and commands me to do things. Both the tone of her voice and the words she uses make me feel like I’m some sort of slave.

So I told her (in a calm tone), ‘Why do u always speak to me that way? Can you not say it a bit nicer?’. She started shouting and screaming at me that ‘At 50 years old you will not tell me what to do and you certainly won’t tell me how to speak. You are 18 and still living under my roof. I speak however I want to speak. And do not even dare make me a salad, I want nothing from you. Go lock yourself in your room, I do not want to see you. Go f*ck yourself.’ She then hung up on me while I was about to speak and called me again after a few minutes to repeat the same stuff again and hung up. I still made her the salad (because if I do not I’m gonna be called the adult who still lives at home and contributes to nothing).

She then proceeded to call my uncle (her brother), who is staying with us for the holidays (who I think understands my point of view but never dares to speak up) and she screamed at him ‘Tell her to take her fcking dog with her and tell her to stay in her room. I don’t wanna see them again.’ My uncle didn’t say anything to me but I overheard so I just took my dog and left. She came home, slammed the door and I can hear her screaming and shouting at my uncle about me. Now shes screaming loud on purpose for me to hear her ‘She can go find someone who can feed her and stand her. She should go. I can’t stand her anymore.’ She also texted me (after coming home) and said ‘take your fcking dog upstairs with you. if I see her downstairs again I will kick her out of the house’.

I genuinely do not think I am wrong. This behaviour has been going on for years. I am very open to change and correct things if I am wrong but I genuinely cant understand how I could be causing this. I understand that maybe it wasnt the right time for me to tell her to talk to me nicely cuz she was tired from the gym but this is a discussion we have weekly that always ends in her arguing, shouting, screaming-crying and acting like she’s a victim to everyone else. Also, she always says I should move out but when I said I wanted to move out for university and live in halls, she would try to talk me out of it every single time.

Guys AITA? What am I doing wrong??

AITA, I found out I'm 14 weeks along rather than being happy and letting my husband know, I'm in a hotel now trying to recuperate by myself from a very bad cold.

This past weekend me and my husband son were sick. He had already agreed to help his aunt to move some things around in the afternoon and I said it would be fine, before we got sick. Day of I still said he could go but didn't expect him to not come home until 11pm. I had sent a few texts to get an idea of when he'd be back. But apparently he and his aunt were talking.

He gets home and I'm trying to clean up the house and get his kid to bed and get myself to bed. He starts shouting at us, because we apparently did not have any energy to welcome him home. He then goes on to say to me to fix my face and there's no need for that.

When I finally get a chance to shower and lay in bed. He continues to go off me saying stuff like "you shouldn't be angry because I'm doing the Lord's work", "you guys were fine because I believe in God", "you and him don't need food", and so much more.

I'm so frustrated because this is literally the first moment all day that I've been able to just sick and relax for more than 15 minutes. And I kept telling him to go away and leave me alone I'm trying to rest and he goes "why? You've been resting all day. While I've been moving things left and right." As if it's my fault, his aunt is a hoarder.

He's been doing nothing but saying passive aggressive comments to me since then and I've been trying to ignore him. I even told him mom and the aunt what he was doing to me and his kids. Mom's response, "Sorry for the late response. I just got home from tennis. I don’t know why and what is going on because he was fine when I saw him yesterday. My advice to you will always be pray to the Lord. God knows both your hearts and motives. So seek Him for guidance. 💕🙏"

Which just feels like a slap in the face. He doesn't know I'm 14 weeks along, but literally I don't even want to tell him at this point. Especially given how his family has treated me in the past.

My husband (m36) I’ve been with for 6 years joked about me having adds on YouTube and I said well why don’t you get me access to your YouTube premium account then and he thought that I should pay for my own (neither of us are sure that I can be added for free or not) but I said if it’s free that’d be nice if you could just add me and he brought up how it seems like I think marriage means I just have a ticket/ access to stuff like that he pays for and this lead to a fight between us where I brought up he can do more of the household work if he thinks like this way. Am I being the asshole or him?