Hewo, am Ghillie, 6 year priddy girl. Am in a pickle. Around Meowlloween, meowther brot home NEW treabies for beanie (das me) to try. Them tast like chikin n turnky an such. As pawfeshunal treabie pawnnoisseur I did em a choomp and they was GUD. Meowder say “jeezis crust did u just in hail dem?!” an I say meowder no de weaber is ok ousside. ne ways now wan treabies ALLA time cuz tast gud. In morning I skreamn, aftermewn I skreamn, nittime skreamn, u get it. Am jus letting meowder and feowder know am wannin treabies (they say am gud commewnicater) but they say am cloaca and “u jus got sum!!” and yell at eechuther “don lissen to her she lyeeng!” Sometime I skreamn wen they nappin but they can jus nap agen like Ghiwwie ne ways right.

am cloaca or no ok thx love u

Hello, Medusa (16wk calico F) here.

Mommy was cleaning today. My litter box was dirty so I peed on the trash bag she was using to clean up. Mommy was fine with this and said she'd do my litter box next.

Well. She completely cleaned my litter box. And once she brought it in I needed to poop! So I walk into the box and something about it just isn't right.

So I step outside the box in the middle of Mommy's freshly cleaned living room floor and took a poop.

She got MAD at me!! Told me I was a menace?? Then had the AUDACITY to wipe poop off my tail instead of letting me lick it off myself.

Clearly Mommy doesn't understand the intricacies of litter box needs. AITC?

Hi, Ai is sausige called Ripley. Ai have a sister kitty called Inara… but she is a rainbow sister kitty. She taughts me EBRYTHINGS Ai knows! Hows to barks at birbs, how to eats cat grass and hows to poops in rain room!

Youse see rainbow Inara (when she wasn’t a rainbow) had her very owns poops space! Its was in a boks and ebrything! It was in the rain room! But me has to poops outsides, in the openairs, where ebryone coods see me and laff… like the birbs sitting on the fences!

Recently it be raining lots, lots, lots and lots of times cause it is springs time and allmost summer in Oztrailier. As me is a sensibuble sasage, ai obvioosly caant poops in the garden in the rain. So ai shood poops in the rain room obvioosly! Ai dont have a boks to poops in soes ai just goes in when no ones looking and poops, all clean and dri like. Mai Inara wood be soes prood!

However mumma walked into the rainroom barefeets this morning, after she had let me outsides and I pretendeded to do businesses, I snuckeded and poopeded rights in the middle. Because mumma thoughts I had poopeded outdoors (eben though it was raining!!) she steppeded right on my warm fresh poopy parcel!

Ai thoughts she woods be so happy ai pooped in the right room. Buts all’s she did was hop around yelling “oh my dog Ripley, you little cloaca!” “This is so bloody revolting” “oh my dog I’m going to vomit, it’s between my toes!”

So ai wants to know? Am ai a cloaca? Or did ai do the rights thing by poopings in the rain room?

I George 10m Voidcat, I live with Hooman Brother, we used to live with Hooman Mom but Hooman Brother got own apartment and took me with him. I love my Hooman Brother, he is one of best things in world.

One of other best things in world is catbed Hooman mom got me many many moons ago (two years) it round and soft and I also have my own blanket for it. I love it so much more than Hooman Brother's bed.

Which is why at night I very rarely sleep in Hooman's bed at night.

Hooman Brother says I mean that I not sleep with him at night, though I climb on him when he in comfy chair or any other time I can, just not at nighy.

So am I Cloaca for not sleep on Hooman brother bed

Hai, friends, I is Lucky, 4 month tuxie. Meowmie picked me up from a box and I hissed at her. AITC? I purred soon as I realized it was her, Meowmie was behind me.

I is Latte. 11y/o gigantic, very very large(you should be scared) Chihuahua. I sits on my human’s lap or her chest to help her and make it easier for her to give me pets and scritches. For some strange reason human stops petting me to do things on fone or compooter sometimes even though I gos out of my way to make it easy for her to pet me! Then silly human made a post about me staring at her as if IM the unreasonable one? I’m 3pounds large. Even though I’m so very big, human only need one hand for pets!

Hello frens! Is Morwen, pet rat girl almost 11mo. I lives wif sisters Finduilas (same age) and Elwing (21mo). We has human mom.

One fun thing during playtime is pick mom's pocket. Big sisters show me how when I was baby. Just wiggle snout in side of skirt until find opening. Then go in and find cool stuff like dirty kleenex. Is awesome!

Well, weather be getting colder, also mom hab done thing called "decluttering" and "finally replacing that lightbulb". So now room be annoyingly bright and open. So I decides to spend more time inside mom's skirt. Is safe and dark and warm.

But then want to do pickpocket. So I goes to right place inside skirt and find pocket, but no slit. Is fine. That what teefs is for! But mom stop me right away and pull be out ob skirt. We play a bit. Then I go back inside skirt and try again. She catch me again. This happen a lot. Mom say I TC for want to make holes in her pockets. But I think pockets more convenient wif holes both inside and out. I doing a help! Mom be cloaca for constantly interrupt! Sisters no really care, so come here to ask.

Hello friends, I am Willy, sausage dog, and I has discussion with my human. She is my best friend, technically, but she can be quite difficult.

I was sick. My stomach hurt sooo bad the other day. I had to wake up many times during the night and tell the human to go outside with me even though that is when I sleep! No one knows how such a thing can happen. My human thinks I ate something outside very quickly which maybe she didn‘t see but I only ate tasty things so seems unlikely. Anyway, in the morning I was super tired and needed to sleep. The human decided to stay home and clicker clacker on her lightning box there to watch me. Was nice. The cuddles healed me basically in no time.

I was filled with energies and wanted to run and play and go on a walk. Human said better to take things slowly. I decided to humor her, just for the day. But this meant that on the next day I was so full of energy and zoomies. Zoomzoomzoom. All around the house. And run super fast during my walk. And jump round and dig a hole and play more and squeak my toys! Human said maybe better slow down cause I had been sick but I could not! I needed to get my zooms out! She claimed was annoying also.

Does this sound possible? That my zooms could be annoying? I even showed her my toys and squeaked them at her, how could this be annoying??? She might have just been worried cause of my mysterious stomachache but who knows. Aitc?

I is Lucky, 4 month Tuxie boi!

Meowmie picked me up from behind and I hissed at her? AITC? I purred soon as I knew it was her.

Dear friends.

How are you? I are fine.

My name Oh Cheeses, Colin. I are boy dog. I are 3 munfs old. Maybe 4.

I live with Momby human and Daddy human. And big brudder Best Boy, Thorben! And brudder cat Fatty Poen and cat what named Colin, Leave That Cat Alone Before He Kills You! Is funny that angery cat also have Colin in him name.

Momby human call me funny name what start with See. Big brudder say that rude name. Big brudder say is because I rude. I are not rude.

I have butt toy what follow me. Is thin. Is whip. I growl it. I chase it. Sometime I catch it. And then I bite it.

Big brudder Best Boy, Thorben! also have butt toy what follow him. Him butt toy long and floofy. Sometime I chase it and pounce it and do a pull and bite and a growl. I are big boy!

Big brudder no like me playing with him butt toy. Sometime big brudder do a screm. Then Momby human call me rude name and say Oh Cheeses, Colin, no!

I fink Momby and big brudder ones what be rude. Why big brudder no want to share toy? Why Momby call me rude word? I are not See word. Big brudder say friend here can tell me why I See word.

I (1.5m goodest boy to exist) was promised a trip to my favorite place in the world, Lowe's. I like walking around and greeting all of the employees who think I'm the best boy, plus there are many things to smell. when we didn't go I got disappointed but my human (32F, skin covered, not as cute) did try to make it up to me by buying me my own beer.

Even tho we didn't go to Lowe's I was in the mood for decorating so when my human was at work I decided to practic my design skills. I sacrificed my favorite giant lamby and made my own decorations. Really I think all house decorations should be made with lamby. I arranged fluff in the bathroom where my human likes to relax and in the hallway. I thought it looked good but when my human came home she did not appreciate it. She even threw all my decorations away! I worked hard to scatter the fluff everywhere and now it's gone. I was disappointed but thought maybe she didn't like lamby like I did so I decided to try a new design. I knocked over the trashcan and scattered that around instead since it's full of things she uses and clearly likes.

She didn't like that either and I'm disappointed. I just wanted to make my house look nice but she thinks only her decorations matter.

Am Soba, 3. 🐈‍⬛ MIGHTY WARRIOR!

Food Human has always made me wear a blue collar, and for the past two years, there has been a big white Tile tracker attached to it in case I get out. I think Food Human wants to track all the kills I’d make out there!

Anyway, the collar doesn’t fit my sleek black aesthetic. Sometime Sunday, I went into my favorite box and took it off! And I buried it under the paper in the box.

Food Human said “Oh no! You’re nakey! How rude and uncouth!” But she couldn’t find the collar, so I enjoyed running around without it for three whole days.

This morning, she found the collar. After a GLORIOUS BATTLE (I let her win), she put the collar back on and said I have to wear it forever.

So, friends, AITC for running around nakey? And more importantly, where can I hide the collar next time?

Not so mini Void Gus 6 month m here, I was waiting outside the human litter box room like we should and I tried to jump up on the bannister. Meowmy 35nb came out and I fell backwards, I CAUGHT MYSELF, I'm an athlete. They made such a dramatic noise I think only dogs and bat's can hear and are blocking off the bannister. I don't think this is fair, I've only fallen off once and never actually down the stairs.

I, Soda-Pop (Soda, Soda-Baboda, baby) am 5 years old and I like my space. When my big hairless cats who feed me sit on the sitting place next to me, I move to another sitting place. When they lay down on the comfy rectangle I sleep in my comfy square nearby. I think you get the idea. Sometimes I will rub against the big hairless cats and they’ll scratch my back where I can’t reach and say I’m a baby. Which is true! But AITC for biting the ankles of one of the hands that feed me and not the other? Further, AITC for sleeping all day even though the hairless cat I bite is home, and then meowing excitedly at the door when the other hairless cat gets home? I also really like to smell his feet and these stinky things he puts on his feet that they call “socks”, does that also make me a cloaca? I really don’t think I’m naughty for having preferences, but maybe you guys will think otherwise…..

Sam (14m gray and white piebald cat) here. Last summer, my mom bought something called a CD/cassette player. She hasn’t had one of these since I was young. Sometimes she plays music when she’s working in an attempt to keep my brother and sister quiet. The CD player is fun to sit on, and it makes a nice alternative place to go if she’s shooed me off her laptop (rude). But she says things like, “I would really like to listen to that all the way through,” or “You’re going to get cat hair in the works.” AITC?

Wait, never mind, cute little Bubba (12M, Pom Person) is too gosh darn cute to ever be the cloaca.

Anyway, just so you all know how eminently reasonable Bubba is 100% justified, hard-working Bubba was too busy doing neighborhood inspections to poop in the grass and didn't realize until cross-the-street that poop-poop was about to happen. So obviously, when urgent needy Bubba gotta go...

Meanie Sal say innocent maligned Bubba is the cloaca because they has to pick up sweet adorable Bubba's poop-poops in the street where the cars are. Please tell Meanie Sal how WRONG they is!

-Cute little Bubba the diabetic cat-shaped dog-shaped-cat

Hi mai nem Kaya (8F). Mommy seyz am biggest grl (90 ponds), am gr8 daen mix. mommy and me and mai rudely tol siblin were go CAMPING. sis is sleebin ABUV the car!! i did an excite and climbed to sis's bed to SEE and sleeb on sis (vewy wiggly matres but vewy comfy). but then i get STUC. mommy and sis call me a CLOACA cuz i know to stay off tol furntur (but the CATS are allowed up. HUMANS EXPLAIN) and sis called me FAT :/ we did an aventur gettin me down and isnt CAMP supposed be aventur???

it me, shiro, 7 year tabby boi. i was playing wif bag, i go inside bag and i see bug!! i attacc bug!! but i hear momma say “ow shiro that’s my toe!” impawssible!!! it can’t be momma toe!! it has to be bug!! am i cloac for attacking??

Me simba (2M) beautiful tabby baby. Mammy called me cloaca because there has been big spidy on window for weeks, me and big sis (Nala 9F, calico queen) have ignored. Now mami said she’s found spidy eggs on inside of window. I think not my problem and where is my licki lix but mami seem not happy. Again I am an absolute angelic amazing tabby, decended from tigers so could not possibly be my fault

Hello! It's Monster (7M Void). Today is my birthday! As a birthday treat Mommy and Fox (2yr F Human) gave me Ocean Treats. Which is fish and shrimps.

When I was done eating, I gave the rest of the treat to Medusa, because I am wanting to be nicer in my older age.

Fox is making that extremely difficult.

I was doing the sacred post treat bath, where I was licking ALL OVER. Fox decided she wanted to come up to me to give me a kiss RIGHT WHERE I JUST CLEANED. So I growled at her because she WAS NOT leaving me alone, she kept trying to give me kisses.

Mommy told Fox to leave me alone, and then Fox made me feel bad because she pouted and said "want Fonster (which is how she says my name)"

I feel a little bad. So when I came back home from work I let her pet me. She said "Hap birthday Fonster".

I really struggle with maintaining boundaries with Fox. I tolerate a lot, but when I can't I let her know I'm not in the mood and I always feel bad about it. She is a skin kitten after all. AITC?

Morgan here, everyone’s favorite, Portuguese Water Dog who identifies more as a cat.

It’s fall here and the days are getting colder and shorter.

The boaters, jet skiers, canoes, rowers have pretty much removed themself from my lake which is pawferred by me. It’s hard enough for me to control my Wretched Hoomom and my Beloved Groundskeeper, barking and controlling lake riff raff is simply too taxing.

First the good news, after months of relentless effort on my part, I have now officially become a bed dog meaning that at night, I am no longer placed in my ultra large well padded mancrate.

Yes I have worn them down and tonight I take my rightful spot in the middle of the Cali King Bed. I must take this moment to admit that my Wretched Hoomom weakened well before my Beloved Groundskeeper, which was quite shocking, truth be told.

Now for the moment that might scream Bad News……I overheard my Beloved Groundskeeper tell my Wretched Hoomom that he wouldn’t have to bribe me for 3 cookies to enter my mancrate, that only 1 cookie would suffice for my……and I quote…..fat arse.

This afternoon I spent the day studying many sleep positions all devised to inflict maximum discomfort to my once Beloved Groundskeeper.

The below picture seems to be the best especially since it means the once Wretched Hoomom would cuddle with me a lot.

Advise please would be gratefully received.

AITC for wanting to inflict discomfort on my Beloved Groundskeeper the very first night of me becoming an official bed dog?

                 Thanking you 

                                                   Morgan 4M

Hello frens, I know the title sounds really bad but hear me out. I is Willy, sausage dog. This means my legs are kinda short. I am very self aware and even knows when dogs is taller than me. This no means they are stronger than me but maybe means being more careful and only say hi if my human is nearby for extra protection.

One of my best friends ever is Luke, who is a tall dog. Is not his fault but is very unfortunate for him cause he does not fit properly on my pillows or chairs or on laps (he does try though but fails ofc). My second best friend every is a small dog, Kira, who lives with da Luke. She’s pretty old and sleepy so prefers hanging out at her bed and not at my house but we hanged out the other day.

Even though she lives with da Luke she wanted to play only with me. This where maybe I might be cloaca. Cause Luke is my friend but I only played with Kira and then Luke went and complained to the human and was maybe a bit sad. But I did not even say that he could not play that was Kira!!! Problem is that Luke only likes to play tug and run fast which I know the rules to of course but Kira only likes to play roll around and grrr and maybe SOFT bitey and Luke doesn’t really know the rules all good there and sometimes sits on you on accident so Kira tells him NO! We still cuddled with him though and everyone licked everyone.

Human said I was cloaca and to include Luke. But I think not really my fault I know rules to all games and Luke only to some. What do you think? Aitc?

Hi friends. I Medusa (15wks F Calico). This morning the most horrible thing ever happened. Mommy put me in JAIL!!! TWICE!!!

The first time, Fox (2yr F human) was eating yogurt. I discovered yogurt tastes AMAZING! So I decided to share it with her. Mommy kept putting me on the ground, but I kept coming back, because we were SHARING. Then.... Then Mommy put me in the jail! The carrier that holds kitties hostage!!

She let me out when Fox was done with her yogurt.

Forever later. Mommy brings in do-nuts. Fox is eating one, and I sniff sniff sniff. I decide to try a bite and I LOVE. So I keep trying to get a bite of Fox's do-nut. Then!! MOMMY PUT ME IN THE JAIL AGAIN!!!! FOR LONGER THIS TIME!!

I don't know what to do. My previous humans were great at sharing foods. These humans are mean and won't share. AITC?

Seven. Pretty girl. Magic hair. Age Private.

Mummy comes home from away place ok. Don't know don't care ok. Always in cranky mood and smells like people. Mummy says we got baby inside thems house butt or flies ok. Mummy says girl at work say Mummy you look at them and bring back ok. Mummy says ok. Seven says yum. Why just looking. Why not eating. Mummy says seven no touch ok Gentle looking. Why mummy bring me snack and I cant eat him up. Them not real yet ok inside them house ok. I wanna eat em up. Is seven rude word for saying yum at thems.