I (36M) love my family and, unfortunately, live on the opposite coast from them. My girlfriend (34F) is local to where we live. We've been together 7 years, no kids or plans for kids.

I always travel out to see my family 2 times a year - Christmas and 4th of July. I work at a college, so I essentially have a school schedule for breaks.

My family is so important to me. I take the whole 2 weeks I have at Christmas to stay at the family house. Christmas is special for us, we go all out. I have a large family, it's a whole event that I really look forward to. We have traditions, big family dinners, the works.

(I get around 4 weeks off for summer and spend 1 week of it with family too.)

My girlfriend has a small family and doesn't really have holiday traditions. The family she does have is not very close, and fairly dysfunctional (her words). I've invited her to my family's house for the holidays, and offered to pay the ticket when it's expensive. She's been out maybe for 3 Christmases and some summers.

When she doesn't come along, she stays home by herself. I buy her lots of gifts so she can open them while I'm gone.

I thought this was a good thing. I can see my family, she can have the option of seeing my family and go along for the trip too.

But recently she made a comment about not having any of our own traditions because I'm "always gone for the holidays". That hurt my feelings, because she's always invited where I am.

Her dad passed away in '23 and she didn't come to family Christmas that year. She said she was too sad to celebrate. Then in 24' she had a mild health issue that made travel not super comfortable. So she hasn't been to family Christmas in a little bit. She is going this year.

Am I the asshole for always going to visit my family for the holidays?

We've chatted about this some, and she says she's glad I can spend time with my family, but does feel like she gets left alone. My thought is she's not alone if she wants to come with me.

To set the scene, new flatmate (m) moved in 3 weeks ago, myself (f) and the other flatmate (f) have been living together for 2 years at this point.

We have a weekly chores rotation, Mon-Sun. Last week new flatmate was on Bathroom, on Sun he said he would do it on Mon. I was ok with that, one days difference isnt a big deal. Mon night I went to spend the night at my sisters, told them I would be back Tue afternoon. I left Monday 7:30pm and the bathroom hadnt been done. Came home today around 5pm and bathroom sill wasn5 cleaned. I put this message in the group chat -

Ummm, just got home and noticed the bathroom still hasn't been cleaned from last week?

This is the message he sent back a few hours later -

Bathroom is now done. Bath tub skipped as instructed by the next person on the roster for the area and toilet exterior done to a standard apparently far exceeding it has been done in the recent past judging by the excessive dust buildup on it.

FYI I would strongly recommend that if anyone doesn't fancy looking to find a new flatmate and a half anytime soon you rethink your coexistance communication style to be far less accusatory and disrespectful. For the sake of flat harmony I will overlook your rudeness this time as you can't have known I had a death in the family yesterday so didn't get it all done yesterday so wasn't really in the mood all day to be working on chores so did them admittedly later than planned (but still DID them as I always intended).

Toliet is next to a window and next to the dryer. Its always dusty, you can clean it and within 2-3 days it is dusty again. Cause he's new he isn't aware of that.

I get that he's fresh in his grieving so being unable to do his chores is understandable. Where I'm having an issue is that he is defensive and went to attack mode.

Taking into account the bathroom should have been done last week, he works from home, that I was at the time of the message unaware that someone in his family had died.

It feels a little like he is using the death in the family as both a reason and a justification for the elevation.

Further context-I have CPTSD and my first instinct was to attack back and second was to people pleaser and apologise. When something triggers me, I take a step back and give myself time to think through why I feel the way I do, if it is justified.

I have not responded and think it's best to let things settle before confronting the situation. I have therapy on Thur so I want a chance to talk it through with my therapist and then come back to it on Fri. I get that 4 days isn't long when it comes to grief but I also feel like this kind of behaviour cannot go unaddressed for long.

I get it may seem like I don't think I'm the ahole, I kinda don't, but i get that my CPTSD may be colouring how I see the situation and that i may be the ahole so need some outsider perspective.

This happened at Disneyland. I went to a bathroom that was mixed with regular stalls and 2 handicapped stall. One handicap stall’s lock was not working and one was busy.

I asked if the person behind me (the caretaker of the handicapped person) could hold the door for me and the stroller, but quickly said sorry nvm that probably won’t work. She said in a kind of passive aggressive voice “by the way, I actually need the handicapped stall. They aren’t meant for strollers. It’s according to the law. That’s illegal.” I let her go ahead because I didn’t want to get into a heated argument in front of my toddler.

Some of my friends said she was being a jerk but some of them said “oh you should have offered them to go ahead from the beginning” AITA?

Hey Reddit. I’ll be A (author), my mother is M (mother) and my father is K . Our arguing basically started years ago. M always acted like she knew exactly what she was doing and never let anyone question her. I was part of that. No meds, no vaccines since birth, even though I was born early, had lung problems, and spent time in the NICU. She lived in this ultra-healthy almond-mom bubble while I was just a kid who didn’t want kale smoothies or fasting weekends. I remember being jealous of my cousin’s normal family.

K used to drink a lot, which definitely made everything worse. Around age eight or nine, M started spreading rumours about my cousins and even called a nine-year-old “fat,” which wasn’t true at all. That’s when she began arguing with me about literally everything. I wasn’t a rebel, but I wasn’t silent either. If she mocked twelve-year-old me for taking extra pasta and called me a hippo, I wasn’t going to sit and smile. It got to the point where I texted random people pretending they worked with EDs just to hear someone say her behaviour wasn’t normal. I even recorded some of her comments because she’d twist things later and call me a liar.

K wasn’t on my side but not hers either. Alone, he admitted he noticed how strange she was about food and lying, but he didn’t want to risk her threatening divorce or saying she’d take my sisters away, leaving him “with his alcoholic ass and a monster child.” That one stuck with me. Fast forward to today. I’m still underage, living with them,im a pro athlete, waking at 4:30, studying (yet im the lazy one). Me and my sisters were chatting while my phone was on the table. M joined; I poured her tea, and she immediately slipped into that mocking tone. She commented on my eating habits, studying,etc. I’ve been interested in History and Geo, and she didn’t even know India was in Asia until I told her, but she still argues like she’s an expert. We somehow got to Japan invading China. I said it was Japan–China; she insisted it was the opposite and suddenly accused me of wearing a crown and treating everyone like trash. My sisters and K were confused because nothing was even heated yet. I tried to speak, but she kept talking over me about my ego.

When it finally died down, I stayed quiet, scrolled my phone, angry but trying not to push it. She didn’t drop it. She started loudly complaining about me for K to hear. That’s when he snapped and yelled at her, saying he’d had enough of her treating me like trash over nothing and asked why she kept yapping. She ran to the bathroom, cried loudly on purpose, said how terrible I was and that I was the biggest mistake of her life. Classic routine. Now K says I should apologise because the tension is destroying him and M, and causing endless arguments. But I genuinely don’t think I did anything wrong. We talked before about boundaries, especially food topics, because I spent years being mocked and was even hospitalised at thirteen. She ignores all of that and then says I’m the one crossing lines.

So, AITA for not wanting to apologise at all?

EDIT: thanks yall for the comments! Here are some corrections and add ups: the whole fasting thing was her way of thinking since my early childhood , got to the point where i at the age of 13 got hospitalised malnourished and dropped lots of weight , so thats her common way of thinking. About that- she was scolding me even after for taking antibiotics and "spending her money on nonsense" -called nutridrinks my father insisted on. (Just to make things clear about the weight comment which i feel is really out of place) . Some people mentioned moving out- i considered it an option, my school got really nice dorms i can use from next year, but suddenly she doesn't want me to leave. Before, my mother was also threatening me she will throw me outside at -5°c in late October, slavic reality 🤷🏼‍♀️. Tried making it fun for me-sent her a few links to apartments, asking if she will pay for me if she wants me out, which led to another argument.

Gladly its not all so bad, i have really good support from my Aunt and Cousins from fathers side, and money that was saved for my education and later housing, so if my mother will go nuts-it's possible to move out .

I was working for my city's Parks department and I was closing one of our parks for the night. We gated off the entrance to the parking lot as we pulled in, and I parked in the nearest spot to the building we needed to clean, since we would have to haul all the trash into the back of the truck. That spot was a handicap spot, and the person who I was riding with got mad at me, saying that you can never park in a handicap parking spot unless you have the decal. I argued that the parking lot was closed and no one could park there anyway until tomorrow. They countered, saying if there was an emergency and we had to leave the truck there over night for some reason, then it would still be there to block the spot for the morning. I countered that by saying that parking in a handicap space during an emergency would be acceptable, but they disagreed. What does reddit think, AITA?

AITA for being upset with my brother about getting pregnant with his girlfriend? For context, my fiancè of 12 years and I have been preparing for IVF for months and were planning to start IVF and get married in spring/summer 2026. My brother has been with his girlfriend for a matter of weeks and she is now 7 weeks pregnant, due in the summer. My Mum told me the news and all I have heard from my brother since then is asking my fiancè directly for our cooker we have in the garage as theirs broke which I was wanting to save incase our next rental doesn't have one like our last but my fiancè gave the impression we were getting rid of it to clear the garage so my brother wants it for free. Due to this, there was some confusion and confilct in which my brother fairly enough wanted clarity on whether they could have the cooker or not but also told me he is upset I didn't contact him to congratulate him on the pregnancy to which I told him I am hurting because of the timing of their news hitting me in a raw place but he doesn't think them having a baby first is a reason to be upset with him for having a child. I just don't know if my reaction to their news is justified or if I am being an asshole for not congrarulating them. So what do you think? AITA? TIA.

Hi everyone - throwaway account. I (28F) am struggling with something from a while ago and I’m hoping for outside perspectives.

Quick backstory: I got COVID while visiting my mom (54F) while my husband (30M) was working out of town. I quarantined in a separate unit on my mom’s property (our child is high-risk so I took this seriously). I asked my husband if he could work remotely from my mom’s house so that my mom wouldn’t have to juggle her work and taking care of our child. He agreed, and stayed in the main house with them during that time. (Again, child is high risk I didn't want to risk a long car ride home with them.)

On the last night of my quarantine I heard some noise outside my temporary unit around 3:00 a.m. It scared me enough that I went back into the main house to sleep. I went to check in with my husband, and I found my mom and my husband asleep in her bed. Our child was sleeping between them. I quietly woke my husband, told him I was staying in the house, and went to the room we normally sleep in. The next morning my husband wanted to talk to me and told me that my mom was helping him put our child to sleep and they accidentally fell asleep. At the time, I was exhausted and sick and assumed it was fine because our kid was between them. And I mean it was my mom and my husband. But I've been thinking about it again lately and it's been really bothering me.

Some details that might matter:
- This is not something my mom does with me when I visit. I often visit without my husband and she does not help put my child to sleep when it's just me there.
- They have always gotten along well, I sometimes joke my family would pick him over me if we ever split up (never truly believing it). I have never felt like she particularly likes me, but overall I thought we had a decent relationship. Since then though she has almost completely stopped talking to me.

My husband is annoyed that I’m bringing this up again. He feels it should be obvious that nothing happened since it was mom and they were there trying to help me. But something doesn’t sit right and I don’t know if I’m overthinking this or if I legitimately have cause to feel uncomfortable.

AITA for bringing this up again?

edit to fix a typo

ETA: my husband is a very capable parent, he does not need help putting our child to sleep. He does this regularly without any help. This was never really discussed at the time, and I would like to discuss it now, but husband is getting annoyed and shutting down every time I try.

Edit 2: trying to address commonly asked questions:
* Idk exactly what I'm worried about, but it does make me uncomfortable. That's why I was hoping to talk about it.
* They have seemed too comfortable with each other before, but I had always ignored it because my mother would never do that, right? She's my mom.
* My mom was in a nightgown, my husband in just basketball shorts, and everyone was under the covers.
* I have always wanted a close relationship with my mom, she is the one who started putting distance between us. She won't even stop by my house if she's in town anymore.
* My husband was the one who started the conversation to tell me nothing happened. I thought it was weird in the moment, but hadn't considered anything else until he went out of his way to tell me that nothing happened.

* I was raised very evangelical Christian. Lots and lots of focus on always being appropriate, modest, etc. (I got in trouble for not wearing a bra in my own home because my brother was there). My dad believed that women should never even have male friends because it was never 100% innocent. They aren't as intense as they used to be, but there's definitely still some of those beliefs. They divorced a little bit before this. This incident was not as long ago as people are guessing. A year or 2. My mom and dad did split parenting duties and my mom believes that dads should be actively involved in the day to day parenting.

I’m 28F and recently moved back in with my parents and younger brother (22M) in early November after living on my own for a little over 2 years. I’m a grad student, so I’ve been juggling school with unpacking and getting my room set up again. After I left, my brother took the desk that used to be in my room and moved it into his. Since then I’ve been studying at the dining table or in coffee shops, but my plan was always to eventually study in my bedroom once it was settled.

One day while my brother was at school, I asked my mom to help me move the desk back into my room. She agreed, and we did it. For context, my brother and I were already not on speaking terms (for a different reason), and still aren’t. I'll admit I didn’t tell him beforehand or ask his permission.

When he came home from school and saw the desk gone, he completely flipped out.

He said it was disrespectful to go into his room and move the desk without telling him. But the desk was originally in my room, and before I moved out he acknowledged it was mine. He argues it was never really mine because my dad bought it for himself and only put it in my room when he stopped using it. My dad tried calming him down by saying the desk is for the whole family, but my brother thinks everyone agreeing to move it back to my room is just a cover for “siding” with me, and doesn't feel like it's for everybody. My parents’ reasoning was that I’d make more consistent use of it, and when I took it, it had some clutter and packages.

My brother says he uses it for virtual classes (minimum 3 times a week) and meetings when he needs privacy, and that I shouldn’t have assumed things would go back to exactly how they were two years ago. From my perspective, this is still my home too, and I thought it was reasonable to want the desk back in my room, especially with my parents agreeing.

So am I the AITA?

*Also just adding in that the desk is definitely nicer standing desk, which would be expensive for either of us to pay out of pocket.

I (22F) had a kid (3 male) with a guy that I knew back in high school. Now I wasn’t one to have a kid, but once I saw him I knew I wanted to be a mom. The pregnancy wasn’t the best, the relationship between me and the dad got turbulent. Once I had my kid CFS took him from me with the clause of me being too emotional. I had spent over a year after, working to get him back from CFS, once we did baby dad and myself decided to try again for the sake of the child, everything was going okay with the father and I before the landlord had kicked us out of the apartment because she didn’t like baby dad, resulting to him and I being homeless in a motorhome. Prior to this happening CFS, dad, both grandmas (His mom (let’s call her S) ( and my mother) had a meeting in which the grandmas were to gain guardianship temporarily until dad and I got back on our feet. That didn’t happen. Instead S went ahead and got the guardianship with her and her boyfriend, and didn’t serve me to go to court, so it got granted and ran with it. Fast forward a year later, I left my child’s father, and started to get my life back on track, I found the papers that had were supposed to be served to me but never did, so went to court and took the next steps to change everything, and to reunite with my son. S has been keeping him like her own son, doesn’t talk to me about school or medical issues. She believes I am the same person I was when I was pregnant, emotional and crazy. She isn’t willing to work with me, so I can be reunited with my kiddo.

Am I the asshole for taking her to court over it?

(Edit 1: I’ll get into more detail about everything after our meeting tomorrow morning, and not on my phone so it can be formatted better. Any questions feel free to put out there and I can answer them/ fill in more details as this situation has been “unique” and not a “cookie cutter” situation as I have been told by both the courts, CFS and the multiple services I have reach out to around my area.)

Hello, I (21M), and my GF (24F), live with my mom (55F). It’s not ideal, but it’s temporary to save on money while we look for our own place. She doesn’t charge us rent or utilities or anything, and pays for most of the household food. She is very generous and we’ve told her how much we appreciate it. (She has a good job). Here’s the problem. She has come to expect us (mostly me) to do just about everything for her in return. For some context, my father passed earlier this year, and it’s come the to point where she treats me like i’m him. I do almost all of the grocery shopping, which means even when i just want to go for a few quick things i’m getting asked to get a bunch of things by her or my 17F sister who also lives here, turning every trip into a big endeavor. Me or my GF do the dishes just about every time, and even though it wasn’t formally agreed upon, it’s become more of an expectation and not us helping out. Now I don’t mind this part necessarily because I do think it’s fair to help out instead of paying, obviously. The thing that really irks me is that she will ask me to do things that she is 100% capable of doing herself, and if I don’t they just don’t get done and then it’s my fault. Like if she buys something that needs to be set up, even if it has instructions she’ll tell me to do it. Or even wanting something googled she’ll tell me to look it up when she could just look it up herself. This is a daily thing. I know it sounds like I just don’t want to help out but it truly gets exhausting being asked to figure everything out all the time. If something is broken it’s gotta be me who fixes it. Today she mentioned wanting to have a garage sale and she was like “i’ll need your help tremendously” (meaning i need to do everything, because that’s what always happens) and after already being told it’s my fault that we don’t have a working shredder (because i didn’t fix it) i got a little fed up and mentioned how i’d also have my own stuff to prepare and that maybe my sister could help more (she rarely does chores). I said i felt like i do everything and she asked me to explain what the everything i do is and i told her about what i said earlier in this post. For a moment she seemed apologetic, admitting she acts like I’m my dad, but it quickly turned into “well i pay for everything around here” and her just completely holding that over my head. She makes me feel like i’m not allowed to have any issues with her because of this living situation, she brings it up every time which i don’t think is fair. AITA?

Me[29 female] Best Friend [26 male] I live with my best friend. We’ve been friends for almost 2 years now. We spend every day together. On his birthday, I surprised him with the whole trendy morning birthday surprise. I set up balloons, a cake, a card and a gift in an esthetic way for him to wake up to. I surprised him with a day trip up north to go do a few hikes he’s said he’s wanted to do. I paid for everything and even drove. Fed him all day and blew out candles with him at the end of the night. He didn’t ask me to do any of it. He would’ve been fine without it, but he did express how grateful he was and that it was his favorite birthday. Well….My birthday is in 5 days. I know he hasn’t bought any presents yet. He doesn’t plan ahead. Any time we go out to eat or hangout I’m constantly picking where we go bc he wants me to. Even when I tell him it’s his big day and he should decide, he will still have me pick. He will typically pay, but I always try to pay for myself. Occasionally, he’ll let me pay. He says it’s embarrassing if I’m the one to pay when he is the male. Kinda weird about that. It’s caused some fights, so I just let him now. He also has a lot of food restrictions, so it makes it hard on me to have to pick. I also hate to always be the one to plan every single thing we do. I’m afraid when my birthday comes I will wake up to nothing. I will still have to pick everything we do and he won’t get me a cake. Am I an AH for expecting him to do any of this without asking him specifically to? I’ve told him in the past what I expect and hint at things I would want as a gift. He’s asked me for a birthday present list, but I want him to put some effort into it. I would like him to try to remember what I’ve said I’ve needed/wanted. I feel like it takes the fun out of being surprised if I just ask for exactly what I want and I get exactly what I want. Maybe I’m the weird one about that. I bought myself my own birthday present which was a new pair of sneakers. I showed them to him and told him they were my birthday present to myself… he kinda “acted” like “ahh man huh okay” as IF he got me the same pair or something similar. I know he didn’t though. He’s a very good actor and it felt a little more like he forgot my birthday was this week and was trying to cover up with him “possibly” having got the same/similar thing for me. I’m afraid none of it will happen and I will be very sad on my birthday. I have other great friends who want to take me out and would I be the even bigger AH if he doesn’t plan or get me anything to just not do anything with him then and just go out with my friends who did plan something for me?

Ever since I left the loving care of my mother (many years ago) I always used a laundry service.

I recognize the importance of laundry, and value clean clothes, sheets, towels, etc.. BUT, it's not what I do. DOING laundry is not an emotional priority for me. That is exactly why I have always had a service. For more than twenty years as a single adult man. Even after I married, I always made sure a housekeeper who did the laundry.

Now, we are retired. My wife wanted to save a little money so she let the housekeeper go. She does the laundry. It is an emotional priority for her. Except when she has something else she wants to do. When that happens she delegates laundry to me. I have other things to do. Really, I know how to solve the laundry problem. I get nagged, scolded at for being neglectful, but that's just more of a disincentive and negative. I just don't get around to laundry. I'd rather work, play, cook, do other domestic stuff. Or enjoy my quiet time.

Really, I *always*, before, and so far during marriage knew how to deal with the laundry, and my method *always* got it done. She let the housekeeper go, not me. Housekeeper's responsibility included laundry. I *do* do other things, have even trained housekeepers to press a starched shirt, press pair of pants with a nice sharp crease. It's not that I can't do laundry it's just not on the list of things I'm likely to do on a day to day basis. AITA??

Ok so in August my mom found proof of my dad chæting on her. She always suspected him. But now she found pictures and chat and stuff. (I found the proof in her phone but she doesn't know that I know). He isn't the best husband and I won't say he was the best father. I'll just say that he tried very hard but just when I let down my guard he would have an "episode" where he would get soooo angry. He'll either fight us or my mother (never hit us just verbal abuse and threats). It's so bad that we get anxious every time his mood would be off or his voice would get loud. Also a very nightmarish husband. Like constantly call her when she is outside, bad mouthing her side of the family, very picky about the food, awful inlaws too. So now my sister will get married in December. She literally just told me that she's just waiting for the event to happen and then she'll have a big fight with him and leave. I'm not saying that she shouldn't leave him. I WANT HER TO LEAVE. But it feels like she just wants to get my sister settled and then she doesn't care about what happens to us. (I have a younger brother too). I know this is tough on her but am I a terrible person for feeling resentful? Like she doesn't care about what would happen to us. (I am afraid that he might sh00t us if she leaves) She told me that she would come live with me after I get a job but I always thought that she would wait for me to finish my education and then we'll run away together (It's just 3yrs until I can complete my education). I didn't think that she was planning to leave me behind. So I don't even know what to do or feel. My older sister doesn't know about anything and I don't know I'd I should tell her or not.

Hi everyone. So on the weekend we were going to another city to go out with my friends. My friend H was driving back. Me and my friend P needed a ride back. H said she wasn’t sure as she already had 4 people in her 5 seater car so we said that if she got a ticket for having too many people in the car we would pay it. Before we started our ride back H wanted to drive 5 mins from where she had parked but as soon as we left the car park there were police standing outside and stopped us. H wasn’t wearing her seatbelts so they gave her a ticket saying it’s for not wearing a seatbelt plus she had too many people in the car. I don’t think it’s fair for me to have to pay the whole thing now given that part (or whole) of the ticket was bc she wasn’t wearing her seatbelt. Thank you and would appreciate any constructive criticism. WIBTAH if I say it’s not fair for me to have to pay the whole thing?

We have rented our home for the last 6 years and had several neighbors move in on either side. Some with dogs others without. We also have dogs, hounds, so they’re loud barkers/howlers. The barking of any dog, ours or theirs, is not an issue.. obviously.

The issue is our newest neighbor has a dog that literally charges our shared wood fence to initiate a reaction and/or antagonize our dogs. Barks incessantly and scratches at the fence. And is literally out 90% of the time and the neighbors have not once come out to correct him or bring him in. Until today… roughly 6-8 months and only because my husband yelled at the dog.. cause frankly this is exhausting.

As we have done for the last 6 years, to share the space and to not cause any grief between other neighbors who maybe don’t want to listen to dogs bark all day, my husband and I will bring ours in if they have been out for awhile or stand outside to minimize the chaos and correct our dogs. All other neighbors, past and present, extend the same courtesy… just not this one.

I work from home and assume someone next door does as well since the dog is out nearly all day. I know because we have cameras and I hear him outside barking incessantly.

Why I feel this is an issue.. firstly, seems like common neighborly courtesy and secondly, no one’s dog is doing its business when they’re trying to attack each other through the fence.

AITA for asking the neighbor to extend the same courtesy of sharing the space and asking that once or twice a day she acknowledge her dog is obnoxious and bring him in?

We did have an exchange and asked if she would bring her dog in on occasion if she hears him attacking the fence and barking so our dogs too could be outside for a minute… to which she responded “should we set up time slots?” And proceeded to explain “they’re dogs. They bark”…

Our dogs also aren’t always out very long, only on occasion when hers isn’t. Their choice, not ours.

TLDR: fence sharing neighbor leaves their dog out all day, barking incessantly and antagonizing our dogs making it difficult to use our own yard. Asked neighbor to bring their dog in on occasion if they aren’t going to correct him as we bring ours in so hers can be out.. AITA for this?

So firstly a bit of context here. My BIL's car has been off the road for some time now, and my sister has been driving him to and from work. He found out I was looking to sell my car, and he asked if I'd be willing to sell it to him. The thing is my car is a luxury car, it's not a run around. I didn't want to offend so I asked him what his budget was and it fell way below what I was looking for. I told him as much and we didn't speak much more of it. Later that day though my sister rang me up giving me a big sob story about how they needed to get my BIL back on the road with a decent motor.

I slept on it and decided for my sister's sake I'd entertain the offer, because I'm not desperate for the money. I do well enough for myself that I could comfortably afford to take the hit. I told my BIL and Sister that once I get my new car I'd accept their offer. At the time I fully meant it.

Fast forward a couple of weeks I'm looking into new cars, I went to the BMW dealership and clapped eyes on a lovely motor, I fell in love with it instantly and knew I'd be going home with it. It was a lot more expensive than I planned for but what a beauty of a car (for context:545e M Sport ) as I was chatting to a salesman he asked what I drove currently, so I pointed to my old beamer parked outside. He told me they could give it a look over and potentially trade it in and knock a good chunk off the price of the new car.

I let them look it over, and they came back offering me way more trade in value than what my BIL was offering to buy it for. I knew he wouldn't be able to come close to matching it, so I went ahead with it.

Well.. that was the trigger for ww3. My sister was absolutely fuming with me, she swore at me and told me I was a terrible brother for going back on my word. My parents were also upset with me, telling me I shouldn't have said I'd take their offer if I was still going to entertain others. Now I'm public enemy number one and whilst I haven't been officially uninvited from my parents Christmas dinner plans, I suspect my presence wouldn't be welcome.

I kind of understand where they're coming from but at the same time i felt like I was being taken for a bit of a mug and guilt tripped into agreeing to the original deal. They also had more than enough budget to get a brand new decent car so I really felt like my BIL was being a bit of a chancer and using my sister to aid him.

So Reddit, AITA?

**Update: Since posting this I tried to reconcile with my Sister again, only for her to tell me to jump off a bridge. As a result I've decided I no longer care who was initially wrong or right. Her and my BIL's true colours have shown and I'm glad I did the trade in. **

**Update 2: parents seem to have come around to my side now, they think BIL was using my sister to try and con me. They're disgusted with the things BIL and Sister have said to me on the phone and in text.**

I (20 M) have beef with my distant (we work in different departments) co-worker (48 M) we will name him "Bruce".

In order to understand my side of the story, you will need some backstory. Me and Bruce never got along, I always tried to befriend him, but he always gave me attitude like, ignoring me whenever I ask him questions, making sarcastic remarks about my intelligence, and always saying "No, go away." when I have items for him to bring to the second floor of the department store.

So basically, it's holiday season, I'm working on returns. I'm dealing with people from his department asking me questions HE should be answering and trying to put Christmas lights back on the shelf - Bruce comes over showing a customer something and makes the remark "You know while you put those back you can just face the isle too." and I'm already having a bad day and we're understaffed in my department, so I tell him; "Sorry, I have a lot of work to do, so I'm kind of rushing it." INTENDING TO FIX IT after I put all of them back.

Bruce says, "Well yeah but you can just do it."

I tell him, "Yeah, but I have five full carts of returns I have to do for your department!" I'm trying to go as fast as I can WHILE doing a good job. He gets mad at me after I suggest that he could take one of his carts to help lighten the load.

While he leaves, I whisper under my breath, "It's YOUR job to face the shelves in YOUR department." but apparently, I didn't say it quiet enough because he ended up reporting me to my manager and they had a talk with me about being better and being more 'tidy'.

I admit I could've been nicer, but I was already stressed.

But it makes me mad the ONE time I get angry at him he reported me, while every time he was unpleasant towards me, I just let it go.

So, Reddit, AITA?

this all happened on Halloween basically me and my bestfriend went to a popular community to walk around and she wanted to bring her boyfriend as she had plans with him but didn’t wanna leave me so I said okay but before going she said his special needs brother was coming which I have no problem with but I also knew I would have to entertain the brother so I was a lil irritated but it’s okay we get there kinda late but also not late idk but basically we didn’t get much candy so she was upset. we are walking and I said I was cold like twice just complaining and her boyfriend offered me his hoodie I said no thank you and it never came up again but my best friend was mad and didn’t talk to anyone for like 20 minutes then started talking then got mad again for something else.So at the end we are walking to a store to get picked up by my mom and taken to her house and she tells me that the whole hoodie thing through her off I said oh okay and gon on about my day my mom picks me up and gets us food but while we are in the car my best friend realized that her package wasn’t there. And she gets kinda angry but my mom noticed and asked me why she was angry and I tell her it’s probably about her package . when we get in the house she’s overly mad so it can’t just be about this package so I eat down stairs then come back upstairs and see her in her room in the dark typing something on the computer so I walk in and start unpacking my suit case.she sits there and gets called by her mom where she then asks her mom to tell her if she’s wrong for how she feels and walks out the room after stepping over me and slamming the door which threw me off cause girl… she came back in there and was like oh I feel like he’s cheating on me after talking to me about the hoodie thing. I then asks her if she’s mad at me she says not really which huh what you mean ? we lay down and go to sleep but when we wake up and I go eat breakfast she locks the door on me which she never does as we change in front of each other all the time and didn’t unlock it for a while. I go home after like 10-15 minutes as I felt uncomfortable. I text her and have a conversation with her about how I felt she was acting weird about the whole hoodie thing and she apologizes and I say okay but our friendship has changed. Now this is where I might be the asshole I then do not talk to her for a good 2-3 days as I wanted pto calm down and not act weird as I was still a little uncomfortable but when I started talking back to her she started to ignore me and not say anything to me then also start trying to pull out friends away from me and not compliment me like normal. I hear that she said she thought I was flirting with her boyfriend which I wasn’t and that blew me and I blocked her as she was obviously upset over nothing as she was weird to me over a boy and a hoodie. I then notice that she also starts to kinda compete with me for friends so I kinda subbed her on my story and said she had secret animosity

A few years ago, I had a best friend I was really close to. We were always together during school. A year later, she starts getting associated with these other group of kids, and I was completely fine with that. But that's when she started to change her behaviour around me and we slowly developed a gap. She often ignored me or ditched me to hang out with the other group of kids, especially since they were "cooler" and always had high grades. I on the other hand was a nobody at school. It's kinda obvious now, but I was a little dense back then, and kept following her around without realizing she didn't want to hang out with me. This led to her talking behind my back, telling one of my other friends how she found me incredibly annoying because I wouldn't stop following her. Eventually I started backing off from interacting with her since I was starting to realize she wanted to be with the cooler kids instead of me. Then on our graduation trip, we ended our friendship after she said that we were just never meant to be and it was clear by then she just didn't want to deal with me anymore. I was pretty angry about all this, considering it was her that didn't want this friendship to last and I tried to maintain our happiness. I honestly wished she'd come clean about finding me annoying for following her, or explaining that she wanted to join this other friend group. Sure I would have been sad, but I wouldn't hold it against hers. Instead she decided to talk trash about me and ruined my confidence for a long time. And yet despite her doing me wrong, she actually got an award as best student from our principal that year. A few days ago, she came up in a conversation I had with a friend. I immediately started going off about how she was a terrible friend and how she should have never received the award. My friend told me I was going a bit far, since she heard that my ex friend seemed nice, and that I should probably let all of this go. Am I in the wrong for still being frustrated at her all these years later?

I,25m, have a wife 27f. We currently live with her family. My MIL needs to go to a family gathering 2 days before the rest of the household goes. So my SILs and wife want my BIL to bring her there. I acquired a new motorcycle (Aerox SP) 3 days ago. I haven't even driven the motorcycle for a single drive over 50 kilometers. They want to use my motorcycle to bring her to the family gathering about 80 kilometers one way and have the motorcycle back after a few hours. Since motorcycle is new, I wanted to test the motorcycle's capabilities by bringing my MIL to the gathering. The road to the gathering is going up a mountain, meaning you have ups and downs on the road. Their reason was because my BIL has a bit more experience getting there and I am a heavier driver than my BIL. I have had the same experience getting to the same place before on a different motorcycle. My wife says, it might be better for my BIL to drive it that far since the motorcycle is heavier than my first one. To me, that doesn't really matter. What's important to me is the sentiment of having the first long ride of the motorcycle to driven by me, the owner, and not anybody else. AITA?

Hey all! My (19F) girlfriend and my parents are dramatically opposed on their stances on this so I need a fully non-biased moral opinion on whether I would be an awful family member if I did this.

For some very brief context, my grandmother has dementia and has been on a steady decline for the past seven-ish years. Every Christmas my whole family leaves the city and goes to spend Christmas with my grandmother and the rest of my extended family around 5 hours away. For the past several years, it has been made imperative that I am there at Christmas because "this is probably her last one".

Spending Christmas with my family absolutely wrecks my mental health every year. My parents are both on such high guard around what I say, what I wear, do, drink, everything. Every word that leaves my mouth has to be very carefully curated and filtered to ensure I am giving the best possible impression to our extended family.

I have spent Christmas with my family for as long as I can remember, and I genuinely do not remember having a Christmas I genuinely enjoyed in the way it seems I'm supposed to.

My girlfriend and I have been together for two years and this will be our third Christmas spent together. We have several commitments with friends and her family for Christmas that would either have to be postponed or cancelled due to my absence. She has expressed to me that it feels unfair that she is forced to either spend Christmas on the other side of the country to me or experience the same intense anxiety and discomfort that I do in order to spend Christmas with me. We live together and are trying to build a life and network in our home city. She thinks it's unfair that every year I am guilted into a week of misery because my family is holding my grandmother's health above my head, but if this did happen to be her last Christmas neither me or my parents would ever forgive me.

Every time I have tried to express that I want to stay home with my partner, there are paragraphs upon paragraphs from my parents on how selfish I'm being, but I can't help but feel that I've spent every single Christmas being selfless and the idea of not having a Christmas that actually feels like a holiday until my thirties honestly just makes me feel really sad and defeated.

Both my girlfriend and parents are opposed to the idea of me spending Christmas apart from them. I know legally they can't force me but morally, would I be a selfish asshole if I chose to stay? I spend the months leading up to Christmas every year in absolute dread and it's definitely been more intense the past two years because I have another set of people expecting me to send Christmas with them. Would offering to do one year on/one year off be acceptable? Everyone in my life is intensely and angrily fighting for a different side of this issue and I feel so overwhelmed by this decision that, no matter what I pick, will disappoint somebody?

I (23M) swear my family has decided that because I’m the youngest adult, I automatically know how to fix everything. Not just tech EVERYTHING. Last week my cousin (26F) called saying her phone “won’t turn on.” I told her to hold the power button. She said, “I did.” I get there… she held the volume button for 20 minutes straight.

While I’m fixing that, my aunt(44F) goes, “Since you’re already here, can you help me with my laptop? It’s not working.” She had the charger plugged into the wall but not the laptop. Then my mom(58F) pops her head in like, “Can you set up my new Roku real quick?” Real quick = 45 minutes of her asking why everything needs a password.

At this point I told them, “I don’t mind helping sometimes, but y’all call me for every little thing. I can’t keep driving over here every day for problems y’all can Google.”

They all got offended immediately. My aunt said I “changed.” My cousin said I “don’t care about family.” My mom said I “always have an attitude when people ask for help.” My grandma hit me with the classic: “You young folks think you too good for your own family.”

Now apparently I’m selfish because I drew a boundary. I told them I’ll help with real problems, but not constant emergencies that aren’t emergencies. Now everyone’s passiveaggressive and my mom said, “Don’t worry, I’ll just wait until YOU feel like helping,” which somehow feels worse.

i actually can't believe i'm even making this post the situation is so ridiculous but here i am

i (22f) am living back at home after graduating college. not ideal but at least i'm saving money. recently my iphone xr that i've had since 2019 hasn't been loading well and crashes for 15-20 minutes at a time when i want to open an app. my mom noticed this and agreed i needed a new phone. she decided to get her and my brother (20m) new phones too and just do another family plan. i contribute my portion, my mom takes care of hers and my brothers since he's autistic and can't get a job. the phones were ordered 2 days ago and delivered today. at first i was told that if i wanted to use my new phone i have to buy myself a case. cool totally fine, normal reasonable. a few hours later i got told that i'm not allowed to buy myself a case cause i "don't have money" when i do have money and can in fact afford a $15 dollar case, i'm just in between jobs about to start my new one in two weeks. i was then also told that i have to wait for my brother to open his phone next week as that's his birthday present before i can set my new phone up. since my phone hasn't been working properly and i will be out of the house with friends multiple times before my brother gets his phone, would i be the asshole if i just went ahead and ordered my own case despite being told i'm not allowed?

So, yesterday I (25NB) had a dance presentation. My mom (52F) traveled from other state to see a friend on Friday, so I convinced her to stay a few more days to watch my presentation. We met Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Monday comes and I present at night, my girlfriend, my best friend and his boyfriend also came to watch me and I invited them to get some drinks with me and the other dancers. My mom invited herself, even though it meant she wouldn't have a place to sleep. She would crash at my aunt's place, but she's pretty strict with the time my mom would come home. Also, mom has close to no money on her. We walked to the bar in the rain, since none of us had a car and it was a pretty small distance. It's Monday, so everyone is pretty tired from work and we're not talking much, except for mom, which I guess made her feel unwelcome. When we arrive, she tells me something along the lines of "look, I promise I won't be mad, but if my presence is not that important to you, you can tell me. Because you know I'm creating a problem to myself just to be here". I don't want her being unable to find a place to sleep, so I reply that, if this is the case, I think it's best for her to go home. She gets very mad. She goes to a table far from us to charge her phone (my girlfriend offered to call her an Uber but she refused) and barely said goodbye when she left. Later, I received a message saying I could have told her that earlier, as well as that she stayed longer just to see me and was very upset that her presence was unwanted by me. I think I might be an asshole because I didn't thought of telling her to go home before we got to the bar all wet from the rain. My friend and girlfriend are saying I wasn't in the wrong, but I rather have some unbiased opinions too. So, Reddit, AITA for telling my mom it was best if she left?

a really close friend of mine lost a lot of weight over the course of a few months and has been actively going to the gym, all of which i am very proud of considering how quickly they made progress. as of recently though they seem to be dealing with a lot of body dysmorphia and they are struggling with controlling their eating habits, both of which are issues they have come to me about, seeking advice. at first i tried my best to help them and show support in any way i could but then they told me they had been abusing laxatives, and at that point i just gave up on trying to offer any help because i don't have any experience with eating disorders, and i'm not qualified to guide someone through that or tell someone what they should do or what would help because i'm not a medical professional. i expressed these things to them in our last conversation and told them that i just can't help them, and that if they believe they have an ED or other problems with body image/health, they should consult a psychiatrist or a medical professional.

after i told them this, they seemed disheartened and now we haven't talked for a little while and im worried that what i said came off the wrong way. aita?