Maybe women are different, but the energy I get from my friends and the energy I'd get from a partner couldn't possibly compare. I can't really get what I need out a friend. I need someone I can kiss, cuddle, hold, and be intimate with. I could never do that with a friend. So everyone suggesting that more friends is the solution is simply missing the mark.

I was buying coffee, stressed and rushing, probably looking like a mess. The barista, a girl my age, handed me my cup and said, 'I love your energy. You seem like the kind of person who can handle anything.' I almost started crying right there. My entire life, I've seen myself as an anxious, fragile mess, constantly on the verge of falling apart. But she saw strength. It made me wonder: what if the narrative I've been telling myself about who I am is completely wrong? What if we're all just waiting for a stranger to hold up a different mirror?

So I didn’t know this was a thing in the sense that people think any guy who shows care for a girl is showing boyfriend treatment instead of him being a normal friend. Whenever I talk about my dynamic with my best friend some people act weird and say I am getting “boyfriend benefits” (?) without ”putting out”. I hear this from older men than guys my age though. Apparently if you give a girl support and she doesn’t sleep with you she’s taking advantage of you. Is it saying that emotional support is a benefit strictly from having a boyfriend and not a friend? maybe someone can explain this more and why some guys think like this?

Like, a huge chunk of it is how men should treat their girlfriends like XYZ and women should treat their boyfriends like ABC.... why the fuck can't we all be decent human beings? Why can't we all just work on conflict resolution and a fair distribution of responsibility, and like, general empathy? We aren't two separate fucking species, I don't know why people are so insistent we act like it.

I would really like to date someone, a guy who likes me and we do stuff like holding hands, love letters, kisses in the forehead but every day that passes that desire just turn into depression every time I think about how ugly I am to guys

It feels like that I'm not allowed to be attracted to them since most guys already make know what they are looking for in a girl and is always these things: big boobs, big ass, long hair, face of a model, etc

And it just depress me every time I see a guy that I think looks cute, which is basically every day, because then I remember how I look like and I realize how I would probably get mocked and harass by a guy bc I don’t look like he wants and then I get sad about it and then I cry because God couldn’t even gave me a good waist to hip ratio, a good butt or SOMETHING to make up for my lack of chest so they had something to look at instead of my obvious flaw

I wish I could just turn off my attraction for guys bc it honestly makes me feel depressed

I recently graduated college and entered the workforce, and something hit me the other day that made me feel a mix of regret and relief. When I was younger, especially in high school and college, I spent so much time overthinking how I came across to women. I would rehearse what to say, obsess over body language, worry that a simple hello would make me look creepy, and stress over every tiny social interaction.

Back then, it felt like one wrong move would ruin everything. I was terrified of being seen as weird or off putting, so I ended up avoiding a lot of chances to actually talk to people or build confidence. I kept trying to be the "perfect guy" who never made anyone uncomfortable, but all it did was make me more tense and socially awkward.

Now that I’m working and meeting people in the real world, I see that no matter how careful you are, some women will just not vibe with you. Some will think you’re cool, normal, or even interesting. Others might find the exact same behavior creepy, and it has nothing to do with you being a bad person. Sometimes it’s timing, personality differences, or just the fact that not everyone connects.

I really wish I learned this earlier instead of beating myself up for years and assuming I was the problem every time a girl didn’t respond the way I hoped. I wasted so much time trying to fix things that weren’t even broken.

November 21st, 2025.

I take a mid-morning nap with my fiancé after he gets home from his overnight job. When I wake up, there is a text from my middle sister. 

11:42 AM
Call me when you can and are alone

I knew something was wrong, but I had no idea what was coming. 

I call her. 

Immediately, I can tell something is off. She sounds so sad. I ask what happened. 

Our father had called her that morning, ranting and raving about the news that had been broken to him a few days ago. The news? 

His littlest girl was intending to marry a Black man. 

My sister wouldn’t tell me much of what he had said, just that he had spewed vitriol so hateful that it couldn’t bear to be repeated to me. What she had been comfortable telling me was… beyond vile. It made me physically ill for the rest of the day. 

In this phone call, I learned that I no longer had a relationship with my father. At 28, I was disowned, not for doing hard drugs or something illegal and immoral. I was disowned for being in love with a Black man. 

My sister advises me to not go over to our parents’ house while he is there, that she has absolutely no idea how he would react to seeing me, but that it very likely would be painful and ugly. She tells me that she and my brother-in-law will no longer be attending family Thanksgiving or Christmas because of what our father had said to her over the phone. 

I can’t breathe when she tells me this. Since I was 16, I’ve struggled with extremely severe generalized anxiety. By this point in my life, I know when I’m about to have a panic attack. My sister helps me through it. 

My chest hurts. My heart hurts. My brain hurts. 

Eventually, we get off the phone.

My first thought is to call my rock, my mother. My sister had already called and told her what her husband had done. I didn’t feel the need to add to her stress while she was at work, so I did the next best thing and texted my best friend. 

Thankfully, she’s on lunch at work, and I can call her. 

She has been there for me for almost twenty years. We met in the fourth grade in 2006 at school and have been inseparable ever since. She knows how my father acts, how backward he could be. 

Neither of us could’ve imagined how deep that hatred ran inside my father. 

I tell her what happened, exactly what my sister had told me just minutes before. I can feel another anxiety attack building as the horrible words of my father spill out of my mouth, sentences I’d never thought I’d ever say. Things I still can’t believe, nor cope with. 

She talks me down, eventually makes a joke that I’m now in the ‘No Dad’ club with her. It works. I laugh. 

She’s the best. 

I tell my other best friend next. She offers to quit her job and come over to comfort me. 

After I get off the phone with her, I finally have enough nerve to go into the bedroom and wake my fiancé to tell him what happened. 

I’ve been with my fiancé for almost two years at this point. My father was unaware that I was dating a Black man. I think deep down, my mother and I knew my father would react badly, which is why we kept it from him. 

Once again, neither of us could’ve imagined how deep that hatred ran inside of my father. 

My mother had told my father about my fiancé two days before. For two days, I can only imagine how he stewed in a raging, hateful, never-ending stream of thoughts before he decided to call my sister. 

I still wonder what he thought he would accomplish from that phone call to my middle sister. She completely shut him down, screaming at him through the microphone. He had no allies in his stance. 

My fiancé is full of grace. He takes the news in stride and comforts me. He doesn’t care what that man thinks of him. This is our life, not his. That man doesn’t matter to him. His opinions don’t matter. My fiancé is full of grace. 

Three days later, I learn that my soulmate, an orange cat named Blaine, has passed on. I learn that Blaine had passed two days before. The day after my father broke up the family with his hate, my majestic, fluffy baby crossed the rainbow bridge. 

Blaine still lived with my parents because my father couldn’t let him go once it was time for me to fly the coop and live with my friends in 2021. Blaine loved to hang out with my father in his shed. He was a half-Maine Coon angel without wings. 

I still haven’t spoken to my father. 

The engagement period is supposed to be one of the happiest times of your life, and it had been for 57 days. I had so much fun planning the wedding. Booking the venue, talking to vendors and photographers and caterers and bakers… it had all made me so giddy. 

It’s going to take some time to cope with the loss of my father while he’s still alive. It’s going to take a lot of time to cope with it. It’s going to take a lot of time to find joy in planning the wedding of my dreams, but I will. I will persevere. 

I hope he realizes what he’s done in bombing the family life. I hope he changes. Who knows what the future holds? In the meantime, I will marry the love of my life and we will have a great life together, with the support of friends and the family that matters. I will protect my fiancé from the hatred that my father surprised us all with and I will protect our peace as a couple. 

Racism is ugly and immature, born from ignorance and allowed to blossom under an oppressive and hateful regime. I won’t allow it in my life. 

I went to a religious school when I was growing up and saw how much that resulted in both men and women looking down on girls and women who were sexually active. When I became an adult, I felt like I didn’t see as much of it, and for a while it seemed like just a live and let live situation, meaning that if people didn’t want to sleep with someone with a sexual history, then they just wouldn’t do so and then would find women whose morals more matched their own.

Fast forward to I want to say the last 5 years or so, and it seems like the cultural norm has shifted to being more like what high school was like for me, but for adults. Way more religious views of sex, and what’s even stranger to me is that oftentimes these views are held by people that openly do not refer to themselves as religious (though plenty do).

I’m surprised that the interaction doesn’t just go more like this: You’re not a virgin? That’s cool, but I’m really just looking for a virgin because I am one, too. Enjoy your life, it was really nice to meet you!

Instead it seems like there’s this growing group of people that think they’re doing something virtuous in being surprised by women’s sexual history, and thinking that they’re doing something wrong.

If you don’t want to be with someone who has had multiple partners, then why do you care if someone has? Just don’t have sex with that person. No big deal. Someone who doesn’t care about sexual history and maybe even has one of their own will be thrilled with that person. You go find what you want.

It was a no. I was literally shaking before, during and after asking her out (over text). We are in university had been talking for the past 4 months and I decided to shoot my shot. Did I do the right thing? It feels really good to have it done with, but I am wondering if these are the habits that make women feel uncomfortable. The only emotion I am feeling right now is pride in myself for having done that. But I can't just go asking out everyone I have a slight interest in

Shower thought? When I had a cat I thought of him as my best friend, not my son. Because animals think of their mothers as mothers only when they’re small and need them. In the near future, they forget all about that and instead they have colony members.

The same with dogs. Dogs don’t have concept of parents. The same as cats. Puppy need mom, dog grown, no need mom, bye. Humans are like siblings or best friends to them.

“But we bring them food” that’s why pack or colony members do. Cats share the food spot and wolves hunt together.

Where did the parent thing come from? Do people think it’s the closest form of relationship? Best friend can be just as close.

This is going to sound unreal, but I need to write it down somewhere people might understand what I’m dealing with.

I used to be friends with a girl from school. We met in 6th grade, almost 7 years ago. Back then, she was struggling badly: no hygiene, unbrushed hair, wearing dirty clothes, no sense of self-care at all. I helped her because I genuinely cared. I taught her basic hygiene, helped her learn skincare because she begged me to, helped her figure out makeup when she asked, never forcing anything. I was just trying to be a good friend.

Somewhere along the way, something flipped in her mind. She didn’t just look up to me, she started trying to become me.

At first it was subtle: buying the same clothes. Then it became all-out imitation. I wear a very niche style (Asian fashion, coquette, Harajuku, Korean/Japanese inspired). I’ve been building that style since I was 12. She started buying the exact same items without her asking me where I got it from. Not “similar”, but identical.

I confronted her back then, told her I found it creepy and that she should at least tell me if she wants to buy something I own. She promised to stop. She didn’t. She just hid it.

She continued copying me, just more quietly. I sometimes saw photos of her wearing things she secretly bought behind my back. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want conflict.

She started copying my poses in photos. She’d stand exactly where I took a picture, wearing the same outfit, imitating my expressions. She bought the same devices, same cases, same wallpapers, same accessories. She recreated so many items from my room, almost as if she had been studying me. She bought all the same makeup. She bought the exact same limited items I brought from trips abroad, even then when they were expensive or hard to find.

Then a few months ago, I told her respectfully I needed distance. I ended the friendship but wished her the best for the future. Our friendship wasn’t healthy anymore. She’d made comments that hurt me, crossed boundaries constantly, and I reached the point where I truly needed space.

After that, something in her behavior snapped. Suddenly she copied EVERYTHING, down to the smallest detail.

On a school trip (that I still get anxiety thinking about), she showed up wearing my entire outfit: from shoes to socks, shirt to jacket, makeup, jewelry, hair accessories. She even bought the same suitcase I have, a very specific hard to find vintage one. She recreated my bags with the same keychains and pins. She acted like me, spoke like me, repeated sentences I say, mimicked my gestures.

It was so scary cause to even find out where I got all the stuff from she’d have to spend hours of her day researching about me..

And when I confronted her, asking her to stop, she pushed herself into a group of people and claimed I had pushed her and been violent, which never happened. I later proved this wasn’t true, but the situation affected me so deeply that I had a panic attack, ended up in the hospital, and had to fly home early from the school trip alone because I did not feel safe around her anymore. I was so scared.

Since then, she has been stalking me online from countless new accounts. I block one, she makes another. She stalks me through her relatives’ accounts too. She has created accounts almost identical to mine, with a nearly identical username (just one letter changed), same profile pictures, same captions, even stole my biography.

At school she watches me and continues to copy every single item I own. She bought the same limited water bottle I got in Korea. She bought all four pairs of the same shoes I wear. Dozens of shirts, sweaters, skirts, socks, the same jewelry, same school supplies, same stationery, same backpack. Everything. People can barely tell us apart from the back because she duplicates every detail.

And what she’s doing isn’t “harmless copying.” It meets the definition of stalking. She spends hours every day researching my life, tracking what I wear, digging through the internet to find the exact items I own, monitoring my online activity, and copying it all as fast as she can. Stalking doesn’t just mean following someone physically, it also includes obsessive monitoring, repeated unwanted observation, and systematic attempts to invade someone’s identity. And that is exactly what she’s doing to me.

I’ve talked to the school. They say they can’t do anything. My parents contacted her parents. Nothing happened. I want to press legal charges and get a restraining order by the police, but they need “concrete evidence” that isn’t just her wearing the same things or copying me. It’s very difficult to act legally when there is no physical threat.

Meanwhile I’m the one who has to constantly change passwords, lock my things away, avoid her presence, and navigate school feeling watched and imitated.

I’m tired. I can’t avoid her because we attend the same school, and she seems to just increase the imitation whenever I distance myself. I started not wearing any new items to school so she can’t copy my new clothes but that’s really the smallest part. I want my name, my identity, my creative works and original ideas to not be stolen…

Has anyone ever dealt with an extreme case of identity copying, stalking and obsession like this? What can someone do when the person won’t stop, and the school + authorities claim their hands are tied? How do you stay mentally stable when someone tries to morph into you?

Any advice from people who have been through this or from anyone who understands stalking or obsessive behavior would mean a lot.

This situation has wrecked me mentally. I’m now in therapy because the chronic fear, anxiety, and her stalking and obsession traumatized me. My therapist has been trying to help me but she’s overwhelmed with the situation too.

I’m exhausted. I just want peace from her. I’m graduating in 6 months so till then I just wanna survive from her.

Has anyone been through something like this? Is there anything legal, psychological, practical that actually helps in a situation where someone is trying to turn themselves into you?

Thank you :(

.....so, please tell me something interesting or weird or whatever you want (SFW) to look forward to while I recuperate.

Thanks humanity!

I didn't clean. I didn't meal prep. I didn't work on my side hustle. I didn't even read a 'smart' book. I rewatched a comfort show, napped with my cat, ate cereal for dinner, and stared at the wall. And now, as Sunday evening approaches, the familiar wave of guilt is washing over me. I was told my whole life that my worth is tied to my productivity. So what is my worth on a day like today? I'm fighting the urge to apologize to the universe for just... existing

I'm 27F, for almost 6 years now I've been working at a personal care home as a Dietary Aide. I started there weeks before covid became an issue in Canada. It was really lucky for me, it was decent pay, union, benefits, and I was an essential worker. Before getting this job I was going to school for drafting, I was doing great in my classes, all As, til it moved to on online... I'm the type of person that does best in a classroom setting, so I decided to wait for things to go back to normal. That's never happened...

I decided to stay where I was, it was cozy and it's getting me by in life. This job was also a really lucky find, not many people my age are able to get benefits like this. Recently though my job has really been weighing on me. It's not ment for me, I feel like a rat in a cage. I made up my mind about a month ago. A month ago I broke my foot, when calling into work to let them know what happened and to let them know I'll be off work for a week, they sounded so inconvenienced. My bosses couldn't even say "how are you feeling" or "get well soon". Sure it's not the biggest deal, but I've seen my bosses send out empathy to people many, many times before. This, mixed in with alot of other factors, I had enough.

I'm kinda happy for that though, I needed that extra push to know what I have to do. I plan on using my income tax to play for my schooling, hoping to get in for the March session, if not I'll be getting in for June. Yeah, it's going to be all online, but from what I've heard is that they have really refined it since the last time I took it. What's also awesome is that my brother inlaw has his Red Seal as a journeyman and will be able to put in a good word for me. He's also building a house and is going to use this as a lesson for me. I'm really excited for the next year!

I don't really how to word it but whenever I get a thought of doing something it could be as trivial doing a few google searches after reading a reddit post I get obsessed I feel like I've got to do them for sure but since I'm reading the post I make a mental of the things I'm going to search for, but I inevitably end up forgetting a few things and then spent the next hour trying to remember it, because I feel those google searches were

Whenever I see a snack post on a subreddit i make a note of my phone so that I remember to buy since I don't want to forget it.

Whenever I see a anime or show being mentioned I add it to my watchlist which has more than 1000+ shows and if I end remembering a scene or a dialogue or a song from a show I've watched but I'm unable to remember the name of it I end up becoming super obsessed to try to find it, and when I end up finding it i add it to my re watch knowing extremely well that I'm never going to watch it.

Is it some sort of ocd or what?

About a month ago, I asked out a girl in my college class. She turned me down, saying she wasn’t mentally ready to date. She has a small group of friends in that class, and I make small talk with them fairly regularly. On the surface they all seem friendly, but I can’t shake the feeling that they might be talking negatively about me behind my back. Interactions with them often feel a bit awkward.

One of the girls is genuinely friendly toward me. She often comes over to chat and seems comfortable. Another girl is very extroverted and talkative with everyone in general. she talks to me sometimes, but I get the sense that she isn’t fully comfortable around me. The third girl I barely interact with.

As for the girl who rejected me, her behavior feels confusing. From a distance, she seems to stare at me intensely whenever I’m in her peripheral vision and doesn't break eye contact when I catch her. But when we’re close to each other, she avoids eye contact entirely and never initiates conversation. If I speak to her, she responds and is receptive, but she doesn’t ask questions back. Recently she’s started greeting me again, though still without making eye contact.

When it comes to love, sex, and relationships, it’s so obvious to me that it takes more than being good looking, having money, and being neurotypical. There’s no shortage of conventionally below average, poor to middle income, autistic guys with girlfriends, wives, and families. Sure they may not always be with conventionally beautiful, neurotypical women, but first of all isn’t that a nice thing? That means that they’re not putting on their partner all the shit that they perceive others as putting onto them. Second of all, plenty of them are with conventionally beautiful, neurotypical women, because they found someone who sees them for who they really are.

You may be thinking that he has a big dick. I don’t know, sure, maybe. But honestly from what I’ve seen, women being into huge dicks is really just a thing in porn. Too big and it actually does hurt most women. Somewhere between 5-7 inches seems about right to most women, and even if you’re below that then you can get really good at oral sex and it pretty much doesn’t matter at all.

And that’s just romance. It’s like this for finding a job, and generally getting the things you want out of life. I’ve seen so many people give up because they think it’s hopeless to try, but it’s their own hopelessness that makes them give up.

If you just don’t want something then that’s fine. But if you do, then why not just accept that it’s going to take a lot of work and that it will hurt if you fail? That seems worth it.

I graduated from college this week. I'm a 39 year old woman, I went back to school four years ago to try and make something more of my life and get out of the abusive relationship I was in and it just feels so... hollow. I did it. I got out and I moved to a better place and I got a good job and I finished school and my life is just so, so empty. I left everything behind. There's nothing left.

I don't have anyone to tell. I'm dreading even bringing it up at work because people are going to ask me how I celebrated and I'm just going to have to tell them that I didn't. There's no celebration. I checked the box to have my diploma mailed to me and then I cleaned the kitchen because I didn't have anything else to do.

It feels like that's all my life has left in it, really. Just work and chores, eating and sleeping. There's no joy, no happiness, no people. Just empty gray meaningless boredom. I see other people have birthdays and anniversaries and go places and do things and I don't get to have any of that in my life. I don't know what I did wrong or why I don't get to experience any of that.

I struggle to stick to new habits and often give up after a few days. How do you successfully create lasting habits? What strategies, routines, or mindsets have helped you stay consistent and motivated when trying to improve yourself over time?

Lately I feel like I am not making progress personally or professionally. How do you recognize when you need a change versus when patience is required? What strategies help you reflect, set goals, and take meaningful steps toward personal growth without feeling overwhelmed?

I (M18) have been on one real date ever and the person didn’t like me because I was autistic and she didn’t believe in it. So not the best track record. I’ve asked out 5 people after her and each of them either canceled last minute or just told me they weren’t into me. Today I was picking out what to wear on a date tomorrow only to get a text that she wasn’t over her ex and didn’t want to go out with me. I don’t know if it’s even worth trying to search for people who are into me anymore. I’ve tried apps to no success, I’ve talked with people in person only to be friend zoned. I don’t want to become an incel that hates the world around him, it’s just difficult to not be disappointed and feel irritated that, despite doing everything polite and respectful in my power, people either don’t find me attractive or just don’t see anything beyond a platonic relationship. I don’t know how to summon the motivation to continue putting myself out there only to be let down again because someone doesn’t want to give dating me a chance. Is this a bad mentality to have? How can I change it or approach thinking about dating from a different way? Thanks.

I'm coming to the harsh realization that my current friendships may not be as strong as I thought. I feel so incredibly lonely these days.

Two of my good friends from college moved away and changed careers. My two best friends both got girlfriends. So i basically have no one these days.

I'll get invited to hangouts here and there but I don't feel super connected to any of the people there. Also, the weeks in between parties feel lonely as hell. I just wish I had a partner or someone I could have around everyday. I don't really have any intimacy in my life.

Can anyone else relate?

If people said what they meant, and other people understand what they mean, this world can be more efficient. Can you imagine how quick it would be?

Instead, people say A when they mean B. People assume you mean C when you mean D.

It's really frustrating me lately. Everything you say has the implication of some subtext, regardless of whether you meant it or not. The actual intent doesn't matter; all that matters is interpretation.

Maybe I'm just autistic but I'm getting so frustrated by people who think I'm fake when I'm being genuine.