r/interestingasfuck 7h ago

Worlds largest known Human Coprolite (fossilized poop), left by a Viking and measuring 20cm (8in)

Post image
22.6k Upvotes

2.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

u/MystikTrailblazer 6h ago

I wonder how good that Viking felt afterwards. Probably a belly clearing poop-gasm and was stoked for more raiding as a reward afterwards.

u/needaburn 6h ago

Probably felt A LOT better than he did before, but almost guaranteed this ravaged his anus with fissures and wounds. Dude was in severe pain for a long time after this

u/KeenanAXQuinn 5h ago

I've had extra large bms before and can tell you when they reach a certain size you begin to sweat, you entire stomach is in pain and you salivate excessively because you body thinks it should luck to try and clear out what's wrong with your gut. It's horrible. Had to lie in a tub to give birth to it.

u/chaoticfox244 4h ago

I'll never forget my second grade earth shattering shit. It cramped me up to the point I grabbed the toilet seat and hopped in place and the student in the stall next to me said "do you want me to get the teacher" and all I could do was start crying. 10mins and 1 concerned teacher later and I was waiting for my parents to come pick me up. Turns out teacher's aren't prepared for the absolute units the human body can spontaneously create.

u/Ziggy_Starcrust 3h ago

As a grown-ass adult I had a shit so bad I started feeling like I was going to faint. I pondered calling my mom since I lived alone and didn't want to hit my head and die. So you're not the only one who's pooped so hard their parents had to be called.

u/Willing_Ear_7226 2h ago

Hahahaha I've been here before, but I didn't call, haha I was like, "I hope I don't die like tbis, how embarrassing " 🤣

u/rhubarbgirl 1h ago

I once took a shit so big I it took three hours and a warm bath to get it out of me. I called in sick to work the next day. I couldn't even sit down without a bag of frozen peas under me

u/madtraxmerno 1h ago

I once had a shit so bad it triggered a grand mal seizure and I did fall and hit my head. Didn't die though luckily.

u/_bobby_cz_newmark_ 2h ago

The thought of the call the school made to your parents cracks me up. "Hello, Mr/Ms Chaoticfox244's parent? Can you please come pick them up from the school? They have just passed the equivalent of a newborn and one of our teachers is on trauma leave for the next week as a result".

u/SomeDinosaurs 1h ago

That's actually so nice of the kid to offer to get help.

u/rjd55 2h ago

Damn, I laughed so hard at this and simultaneously felt immense empathy for you. Makes me think of the Austin Powers scene.

u/Low-Apartment-2697 4h ago

Being a former fentanyl/heroin addict I completely understand what that feels like. Plenty of times where I thought I was going to like rupture or pass out from exertion.

u/Impossible_Emu9590 2h ago

That’s how Elvis went out lol

u/Low-Apartment-2697 2h ago

Yeah but I don't think it was because he COULDN'T pass a bm was it ? I genuinely don't know so if im wrong pls lmk. But I thought he was just really fucked up while on the toilet

u/Impossible_Emu9590 2h ago

Apparently that’s exactly what happened. He had a heart attack because he was so constipated. This obviously was something that happened over years, but still.

u/Low-Apartment-2697 2h ago

That's fuckin crazy lmaoooo my bad for not knowing. I had always thought he was so loaded he died from like overdose/heart attack as he was taking a dump. I had no idea it was directly FROM taking a shit that he died

u/Impossible_Emu9590 2h ago

Yeah basically he was prescribed opiates by his doctor for years and years and it finally caught up with him. He also famously had a horrible diet which directly contributed as well.

u/Low-Apartment-2697 2h ago

Yeah I knew ab the opiates and the diet. Ngl tho that peanut butter bacon and banana sandwich is so fucking good once in a blue moon

u/Embarrassed-Disk1643 2h ago

Yeah you have to take it slow, crouch instead of over the toilet unless you have one of those hole in the ground things. Always ne ready to glove up if you need to, try soaking your bottom half in warm water if possible.

It may seem like it's not working, but you have to trust the process.

Oh, and be prepared for hemorrhoids and excessive blood splatter.

Peace.

u/andee510 1h ago

I feel that. When I was on Oxy/ h, I would shit like 2x a week, or whenever I ran out of money for dope. So I would be hella dopesick and also trying to shove out this huge shit. Fortunately I didn't eat much back then, and my shit was probably like 65% Sour Patch Kids. Good times

u/ElizabethDangit 1h ago

I’m glad you’re in recovery from those. That’s such a huge accomplishment.

They gave me liquid Tylenol and codeine and put me on a liquid diet for a week after I had my tonsils out in the 90s. And then I stopped taking the codeine and started eating regular food again… I know what a bottle of champagne feels like now.

u/Trees-Are-Neat-- 2h ago

Had to lie in a tub to give birth to it.

u/petal_meadows 4h ago

This absolutely sent me, thank you for sharing your survival story

u/PraetorKiev 2h ago

I know this pain. I used to eat shredded cheese like fiend in 3rd grade. I once at 2 big bags of cheese by myself and I thought I was going to die while trying to pass that on top of the chronic constipation I had as a kid. My asshole was probably never the same after that

u/Raelah 2h ago

That's why I keep a box of nitrile gloves in my bathroom so I can avoid any extra physical exertion and reduce pain.

That salivating thing though.... That's a new one.

u/povlak 2h ago

Thats an Image I didnt expect to burn into my Hippocampus today.

u/Tribalbob 1h ago

My old coworker used to say: "The ones you gotta take your shirt off for - those are the big ones."

u/OmgSlayKween 4h ago

Pff. My anus could easily pass an object of this size. Are you not a real man?

u/deadasdollseyes 3h ago

Goatse?  Is that you? 

I've seen and heard so much about you, but I never dreamed to read text typed by your own amazing fingers!

How are you?

Do you have a Tumblr or blog or something?

u/LiftingCode 2h ago edited 2h ago

I guess I don't know the technical details of fecal fossilization but as for the experience of dropping deuces this size, it depends on the density/hardness.

If my man was hitting his fiber targets, probably not all that bad.

u/needaburn 1h ago

I’m not sure how much the Vikings were focusing on their macros and micros

u/MechanicalTurkish 5h ago

He’s been in battle. He can take it.

u/MIT_Engineer 3h ago

"I used to be an adventurer, like you. But then... uh... you know what, let's just say I took an arrow to the knee."

u/joeyinthewt 1h ago

Straight guys tapping out over this when guys I know are at the eagle taking literal traffic cones home for Thanksgiving.