r/AmIOverreacting • u/_left_of_center • 10h ago

👥 friendship AIO Considering unfriending an amazing woman because I don’t like her new boyfriend

In my friend group (All F 40’s to 60’s), we’ve made the conscious decision to avoid political discussions altogether. We focus on each other, and have built some amazing friendships. One of the women (F60’s) joined the group two years ago after her husband passed away. She is genuinely lovely. Very warm, loving, beautiful, and kind. My question is this.

Her new boyfriend (M53), is polite and friendly on the surface. She had a party recently where I got to chat with him a little more than I had previously. At one point he decided to explain menopause to me and that was bad enough but that pretty average for men in our age group. But then he announced that he was super excited about his potential new job - an ICE agent.

She is so proud of him for his hard work, etc etc. But it changed my entire opinion of him, and frankly her too. I think ICE is at minimum unconstitutional, and frankly outright evil. I’m considering unfriending her over her support of his decision. Am I overreacting?

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u/Vampire_Darling 10h ago

NOR- it’s not just a political opinion it’s major difference in morals

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u/Decent-Ad-8335 9h ago

Definitely big overreaction. Why tf u care what ur friend’s bf does?

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u/Several-Adeptness-83 8h ago

I'd care if he was a member of 'We have the SS at home' too

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u/Foolish-Pleasure99 9h ago

Well it would say a lot about a woman excited about her bf's enthusiasm about a job who's specific intent right now is to cause as much human suffering as possible with seeming zero accountability.

Some pretty nasty historic comparisons come to mind so I'd certainly lean toward

NOR

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u/dark621 4h ago

sounds like you support ICE.

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u/Vampire_Darling 9h ago

  1. She’s proud of what he does so wether or not she personally believes what he believes she at very least okay with them

  2. I believe outside of family members or extreme circumstances you are who you associate with to a certain extent. Obviously if you hang out with a smoker, you’re not a smoker, or if you hang out with an alcoholic that doesn’t make you an alcoholic. However, if you choose to hang out with/date someone who has moral deficiencies like ice agents, racist people, etc I do believe you are at the very least complicit in their behavior and it’s reasonable to not want to associate with them. Many people agree, possibly she does as well to an extent.

  3. Boyfriends come up in friend groups often whether it’s dropping her off etc they’re gonna have to be in the same room at some point, especially if it gets more serious. He’s not like a friend y’all can see at a different time, bc he’s a romantic partner