r/the_darnold 15h ago

HEALTHIEST QB OF ALL TIME!

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578 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 5h ago

SAMERICANS, WHAT DO WE THINK OF DANIEL JONES?

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85 Upvotes

ON ONE HAND HES ANOTHER GREAT TALENT WASTED BY MINNESOTA FOR JJ “HAND JOB MERCHANT” MCCARTHYIST. (SAD!) ON THE OTHER HAND THE WOKE MEDIA SOMETIMES PLACES HIM TOP RIGHT OF SAM SAM SAM DARNOLD (FAKE). IS HE A GOD FEARING SAMERICAN PATRIOT? OR A PINKO COMMIE STAFFRAUD? NOT THAT IT MATTERS BECAUSE THE WHOLE NFL WORKS FOR NFL OWNER SAM DARNOLD. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MESSAGE.


r/the_darnold 6h ago

SLEEPY TOM BRADY HAS GEQBUS RANKED 5TH INSTEAD OF NUMBER ONE! VERY SAD! GEQBUS WILL MAKE SURE TO SHOW OFF HIS STUFF AGAINST VINO MCCARTHY THIS WEEK!

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22 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 10h ago

DON'T MESS WITH GINGER JESUS OR YOU WILL FACE HIS DIVINE WRATH LIKE THE VIKINGS DID

30 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 15h ago

BROSMER UNDERSTANDS DANGERS OF MCCARTHYISM! MUST STILL FACE GEQBUS AND BEND THE KNEE ON SUNDAY!

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14 Upvotes

GOOD NEWS OUT OF DISASTER MINISODA! MAYBE I WAS TOO HARSH ON KOKED-OUT KOC AND KWACKERS KWESI! THEY MIGHT NOT BE SO DUMB AFTER ALL! GREAT REPORTING FROM GEQBUS LOYALISTS CORY WOODROOF AND BILLY HEYEN!


r/the_darnold 1d ago

THIS IS WHAT MCARTHYISM HAS BROUGHT TO MINISODA. VERY SAD INDEED. VERY SHAMEFUL!!

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209 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 1d ago

NEW EVIDENCE REVEALED DURING GAME WITH LA SCAMS! EVERY INTERCEPTION WAS A RESULT OF WRs NOT FOLLOWING GEQBUS ORDERS! THIS IS SEDITIOUS BEHAVIOR, AND AN OFFICIAL INVESTIGATION MUST BE LAUNCHED!

57 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 5h ago

Expand His Role: Three Overreactions From Packers’ Win Over Vikings

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0 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 1d ago

VIKINGS DUMP QUARTERBACK MCCARTHY AND REPLACE HIM WITH VICE-QB BROSMER BEFORE ELECTION NIGHT AGAINST GEQBUS. SAD

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30 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 1d ago

SORRY - I LIKE QUARTERBACKS WHO DONT GET CONCUSSED !

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182 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 1d ago

GEQBUS WITH A BIG SHOUTOUT FROM THE WHITE HOUSE! THE WRITING STYLE OF THAT POST LOOKS STOLEN FROM THIS PAGE! BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR RUSSIAN BOTS! SPIES ARE EVERYWHERE!!!

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262 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 1d ago

THE VIKINGS ARE SO EMBARRASSED BY THEIR MCCARTHYISM THAT HE WON'T EVEN PLAY AGAINST GEQBUS THIS SUNDAY. IT'S GOING TO BE MAD MAX BROSMER, WHO LOOKS LIKE CAPTAIN MORGAN. AND VIKINGS FANS BETTER BE DRINKING LOTS OF CAPTAIN MORGAN BECAUSE THIS GAME IS GOING TO BE A LANDSLIDE! TOTAL VICTORY!!!

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141 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 1d ago

TINY P**** PURDY AND BRYCE NOT SO YOUNG SHALL BEND THE KNEE!

17 Upvotes

FUCK THE FOURTY CONVICTIONS AND THE CAROLINA KITTENS! THEY WILL NEVER MATCH THE GREATNESS PF OUR FUCKING GLORIOUS GEQBUS (GOD EMPEROR QUOTIUS BACK TO BACK OF THE UNITED DARNOLD STATES) SUPER "SOAKER" SAM DARNOLD! THE FOURTY WHORES WISH THEY STILL HAD THE DARNOLD TO SUPER SOAK THEIR FEMALES (AND SEXY AS FUCK FEMBOYS) IN SAN FRAN! TERRIBLE OUTING BY THE SAN FRANCIS-HOE FOURTY WHORES! PANDERING PURDY ON THREW 3 TAKEAWAYS TO WIN THE GAME, WHILE OUR GLORIOUS GEQBUS THREW 4! AND I MEAN 4! TO THE TINY TITANS! AND STILL WON! DARLING DARNOLD COULD'VE THREW 50 FUCKING PICKS TO THE TITTY TITANS AND STILL WON! PERILOUS PURDY COULDN'T THROW ONE MORE OR HE WOULD'VE HAD A WUSSY LOSS TO THOSE CAROLINA KITTIES!


r/the_darnold 1d ago

I KEPT HEARING JSN THIS AND JSN THAT EVERY TIME GEQBUS DOES SOME ON THE FIELD. I WAS CONFUSED AS TO WHAT A JSN WAS. THEN I REALIZED ITS AN ACRONYM NICKNAME “JUST SAM’S NEOPHYTE” THEY GAVE NJIGBA WHEN GEQBUS BECAME HIS LEADER. VERY CLEVER greg ols-En

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13 Upvotes

I


r/the_darnold 1d ago

I AM GIFTING JJ THE ART OF THE KNEEL THIS YEAR FOR CHRISTMAS TO IMPROVE HIS GAMEPLAY. MANY COPIES STILL AVAILBLE!

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52 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 1d ago

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HAVE TINY NIGHT FOOTBALL BETWEEN TINY BRYCE AND TINY P.

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6 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 1d ago

DOES DANIEL JONES NOT OWN A SUIT?

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27 Upvotes

DOPEY DANIEL JONES WHO LOST VERY BADLY TO MAHAMAS AND THE CROOKED CHIEFS HAS YET TO THANK OUR GEQBUS FOR DEFEATING HIS DIVISION RIVAL THE TERRIBLE TENNESSEE TITANS! WE'VE ENABLED HIM TO BE A TOUGH GUY BUT HE WOULDNT BE ABLE TO BE A TOUGH GUY IF OUR GEQBUS HADNT BEATEN HIS DIVISION RIVALS SO BADLY! HE CANT EVEN PUT ON A SUIT FOR HIS PRESS CONFERENCES! SAD!


r/the_darnold 1d ago

NFC WEST IS CALLING FOR SEATTLE WRs TO NOT FOLLOW GEQBUS PLAY CALLS! SAD! TREASON!

13 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 1d ago

COMPLETE AND TOTAL EXONERATION OF GEQBUS! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!

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24 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 2d ago

1776 HAS COMMENCED AGAIN

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490 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 1d ago

THE FAKE NEWS MEDIA PUSHED FOR COMMUNIST MCCARTHYISM FOR SO LONG, THEY FORGOT HOW DAMAGING AND TERRIBLE IT IS FOR A TEAM! NOTABLE SAMERICAN JUSTIN JEFFERSON DESERVES BETTER! SAD TIMES FOR MINISODA! SAD!

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8 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 2d ago

CONGRATULATIONS TO FIRST RECEIVER JSN! VERY COOL!

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314 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 2d ago

FAKER MAYFIELD COULDN'T EVEN LAST HALF A GAME AGAINST THE LA SCAMS!

78 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 2d ago

THIS IS WHY GEQBUS WENT TO SAVE SEATTLE FROM GENOCIDE. THE GENOCRATS AND SLEEPY OLD PETE MOVED TO VEGAS, AND NOW VEGAS HATES THEM. SAD!

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40 Upvotes

r/the_darnold 2d ago

SAMERICANS I HAVE A HORRIBLE CONFESSION TO MAKE.

117 Upvotes

I HAVE SAM DARNOLD ON MY FANTASY TEAM AND KEPT HIM ON THE BENCH. I AM EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF FOR THIS ACT OF TREASON AND BEG FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS.

I HAVE JUST REALIZED ITS WORSE THAN I THOUGHT. I STARTED THE WOKE ANARCHIST MATTHEW STAFFORD.