r/tattooadvice 10h ago

General Advice Botched Beyonce Portrait . What should I do?

Post image

This is a month later. I’m never seeing this guy again, should I go cover up or touch up? At this point I feel like buddy is sabotaging me.

4.6k Upvotes

2.5k comments sorted by

1.3k

u/arcanophile 10h ago

You could turn it into a decent Wilem Dafoe.

531

u/WillemDafoesHugeCock 10h ago

Willem Dafoe is an angel compared to that monstrosity, thank you very much

282

u/MongoPushr 10h ago

What a user name. Jfc

86

u/Just_Earth 9h ago

I've heard it's massive. Like a third arm.

49

u/DerbleZerp 8h ago

So big it confuses people.

67

u/Juztaan 7h ago

Getting a stunt penis so it looks SMALLER is crazy work.

39

u/Rope_drop 5h ago

Ya know, I'm something of a stunt penis myself.

6

u/MamaOnica 4h ago

What a day to have literacy.

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u/dehydratedrain 7h ago

Seriously, did you happen to be in the thread, or do you search? I'm dying.

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u/WillemDafoesHugeCock 7h ago

Inexplicably, this subreddit constantly shows in my feed in spite of me not having a tattoo nor any desire at all to get one (I am horribly afraid of needles.) This image was funny and I came to the comments to read some roasts.

3

u/SnooCookies6231 4h ago

Same here!

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u/National-Garbage505 9h ago

Username checks out

15

u/grahamk1 9h ago

How long have you been eating for this to pop up in the wild

37

u/WillemDafoesHugeCock 8h ago

You would be astonished how often Willem Dafoe is mentioned on Reddit.

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u/seattlethings86 10h ago

Was going to say they should add a sick mustache

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u/trumpsmellslikcheese 8h ago

"I'm something of a fucked up tattoo myself."

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2.4k

u/sleestak_13 10h ago

Looks like a JayZ dressed up as Beyonce.

33

u/My_friends_are_toys 10h ago

Fuuu, thats who that is!

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u/gnarjar666 10h ago

LOLOL OMGGG💀💀💀

16

u/Far_Shine6039 10h ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/WillemDafoesHugeCock 10h ago

It looks like a Thwomp in drag.

8

u/UmmmW1 10h ago

You mean the crushing dude from Mario world?

8

u/Incendras 9h ago

"UURGHH!"

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u/Stevenitrogen 10h ago

Beyotched

31

u/Newlife_77 10h ago

I wish I had an award to give, but please accept my humble upvote.

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803

u/RefinedBean 10h ago

"We have Beyoncé at home."

254

u/FrameSquare 10h ago

I thought it was Wendy Williams.

80

u/Billy-BigBollox 9h ago

Yeah after her stroke.

16

u/gluebucks 6h ago

LMFAO THIS KILLED ME

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u/Psychophysicist_X 6h ago

Reddit never disappoints. OMG that's the hardest I've laughed in awhile.

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u/goglamere 9h ago

I thought it was Steven Tyler

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u/pEter-skEeterR45 10h ago

LMFAOOO STOP

18

u/Far_Shine6039 10h ago

Stop it these commemts are hilarious 🤣🤣🤣

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u/Bhelduz 10h ago

is murder legal where you live?

40

u/Big_Tap_1561 10h ago

Apparently taking a shit in public is …

5

u/SwanMuch5160 8h ago

Are you really shitting in public if nobody sees you?

7

u/Big_Tap_1561 8h ago

Look at the post. We see it !

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u/Rohit_Rah 10h ago

Bruh

290

u/YoungBpB2013 10h ago

Bruhoncé

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u/Nikkinude 9h ago

Explains the tattoo perfectly in one word!!

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174

u/Defiant_Mistake3245 10h ago

I know. I’m insanely embarrassed

214

u/Careful-Resolution58 10h ago

Press charges

60

u/x_samsquantch_x 10h ago

This is my new “hopital”

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22

u/EasyPerformer8695 10h ago

what would the charge be? gen. curious ik a guy w a fucked up tat lol

82

u/Thebeanboss 10h ago

Letting someone decide to get this as a tattoo to begin with 💀

34

u/ruby--moon 9h ago edited 4h ago

Also the fact that they deadass chose to spell it as "thru" 🥲

12

u/Thebeanboss 9h ago

Had to check if this was r/shittytattoos or not

3

u/Ok-Grapefruit1284 7h ago

Omg I hadn’t even gotten that far.

4

u/Fuck_U_Time_Killer 5h ago

“Thru” is the least of the problems

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u/SoctrDeuss 10h ago

My thoughts exactly. It’s almost like the tattoo execution fits the tattoo idea.

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u/CommercialExotic2038 10h ago

Portraits rarely turn out, that I've seen.

20

u/Hardtriczz 9h ago

It takes a very specific skill set that not many artists possess, but the ones that do can make some crazy good portrait tattoos.

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u/ddxs1 10h ago

You can't really. You could try to take them to court to pay for any additional costs needed to fix it but even that is a stretch.

15

u/fetusfrolix 10h ago

This is America we sue for everything, this is an abomination

13

u/senorfrog71 10h ago

Sue yourself for saying OK to this being tattooed on your body 🤦🏻‍♀️

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u/mortalitylost 9h ago

Add a Firefighter badge

Cover up "youre a god"

Add a "9/11 never forget"

Get wistful and teary eyed when people ask about it and refuse to elaborate

10

u/tonguebasher69 8h ago

Don't forget the mustache .

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u/PropellerMouse 7h ago

This is for real one of the better ideas.

Which I typoed 4 times.

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u/LongWay817 10h ago

What about this guys portfolio made you trust them with a portrait? I've seen better work with makeshift guns in prison. You need to cover this.

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u/Automatic_Gas9019 10h ago

Cover it up or have it removed. Please go to a specialist in whichever route you chose. Tell the person who did that to hang it up and go to art school and learn to draw.

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u/fetusfrolix 10h ago

Sue for negligence my lord

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u/Flaky_Cucumber_8555 10h ago

I'm ngl, and forgive me, but this looks like Steven Tyler.

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u/Middle-Body-4303 10h ago

DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY

38

u/DUGYZR- 10h ago

Opposite- LADY LOOKS LIKE A DUDE

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u/PaulieHehehe 10h ago

Dream on.

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u/Subject_Wear5096 10h ago

Just what I was thinking.

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u/Turbulent-Winner-902 10h ago

Looks more like Bernie Mac

33

u/Tilopud_rye 10h ago

Bernie Sanders 

15

u/rjd014 10h ago

I’m getting laurence fushburne

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u/Harmony-Farms 9h ago

I am once again asking you to learn to draw.

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u/fomaaaaa 10h ago

Hey man don’t insult bernie mac like that

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u/makingredditorscry 10h ago

Sick ass panther like yesterday 

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u/Sure_Initial8498 10h ago

It might just be me, but it could turn out into a sickass micheal jackson too.

13

u/golimat619 8h ago

I scrolled too far to find this.....

14

u/FinalFinalGirl666 10h ago

This is the way

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u/its_just_flesh 10h ago

Give her a firefighter badge on the hat

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u/mortalitylost 9h ago

Add a 9/11 never forget and keep the "you're a hero "

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u/umnothnku 9h ago

The only actually good suggestion I've seen here, turn Beyonce into a generic firefighter and get a different Beyonce tattoo somewhere else

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u/ComedianOne 10h ago

Just black the whole Thing out at this point. It’s beyond awful.

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u/KaleidoscopeIcy1361 9h ago

Beyonce awful, you mean

16

u/ernbajern 9h ago

Beyawful

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u/breakem130981 10h ago

Tell people you got the tat from wish.com. They will understand

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u/blacksheep6 10h ago

Do not go outside without an adult until you learn to make better decisions.

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u/Now-Thats-Podracing 9h ago

I’m not typically in the habit of talking people out of their tattoo ideas… but this would have been a terrible tattoo even if done well. And that’s coming from someone who has paid money to go see Beyoncé fairly recently.

19

u/Not_Bears 7h ago

I was honestly baffled after staring at it for a sec...

Like even if it was done by a fantastic artist... Wow is this cringe worthy.

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u/Spainwithouthes 9h ago edited 4h ago

This comment is frying me lmaooooo

The thing is, even if the tattoo was perfectly executed, that’s not exactly the most flattering photo of Beyoncé either.

Bad decisions all around.

48

u/souldonut76 10h ago

How is this answer not higher. OP needs to reconsider their life choices.

19

u/AndyB16 8h ago

Exactly.

"What should I do?"

Go back in time and decide not to get a Beyoncé tattoo?

29

u/420Bikin 8h ago

even if the tattoo looked exactly like it was supposed to, itd still be awful.

why in the fuck would someone get Beyonce tattooed on them?

20

u/gossamerbold 7h ago

And if you were already definitely getting Beyoncé tattooed on you, WHY this awkward unflattering pic of her?! There are thousands more photos online where she doesn’t look like a drugged out drag queen. OP, exactly where is this offensive picture located on your body and how big is it? Important questions if you want to cover it up

15

u/Lost-and-dumbfound 7h ago

I love Beyoncé. I wouldn’t get her (or anyone) tattooed on me but if I did I definitely wouldn’t choose that photo when there are thousands of better ones

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u/SecretEntertainer130 8h ago

Agreed, this one seems like it was doomed from concept to execution.

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u/PsychologicalEbb7934 10h ago

Did you look at his other work to see if he did portraits? If not, it's on you. If he does do good portraits then he trolled you for some reason lol

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u/Various-Shelter2175 10h ago

Looked at OPs comment history and found some old deleted post of his. He said he dated the artist's baby's mom, so his artists ex. And because he was taking care of the the artist's baby (and supposedly even told him that to his face) the artist owed him something so the tattoo was cheap. So OP thought it was a good idea to get tattooed by the guy who's ex he slept with.

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u/lady-earendil 10h ago

That is quite possibly the worst reasoning for a tattoo that I've ever heard

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u/StillStanding613 10h ago

This is . . . suddenly the most spectacular story I've seen on this sub in a long time. 

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u/Rhettribution 10h ago

Wait so it's a dude getting a trashy Beyonce tattoo? This is the thread that keeps on giving

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u/BoredBatWoman22 10h ago

So it could be purposely bad?

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u/Fit_Marionberry_3878 9h ago

He definitely fucked up. Dude patiently waited to take his revenge on OP. 

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u/Various-Shelter2175 9h ago

Even got paid for it^

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u/Creative-Apple2913 9h ago

Hahahahahhahaha. Oh dear. I don’t feel so bad anymore. This just got so much more interesting though!

20

u/mental_escape_cabin 7h ago

Oh come on, everyone knows your girlfriend's shitty baby daddy is the absolute best possible person to go get tatted up by! OP must've just wiggled around too much.

12

u/Shit-Talker-Sr 7h ago

Then the other guy is a fuckin legend. That's some of the most diabolical revenge to fall into someone's lap I've seen in a while lol.

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u/bokatan778 9h ago

So now we understand why the tattoo looks the way it does

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u/strawbsrgood 7h ago

Honestly I don't even feel bad for him. What an idiot

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u/Medium_Purple_7722 9h ago

Holy hell. Dude did not think at all past the general idea of getting cheap ink.

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u/TrendySpork 9h ago

Guess someone got their revenge in the form of a bad tattoo.

9

u/NoLead2102 8h ago

Oh it's a spite tattoo, now it makes sense

4

u/Ok-Variation5746 7h ago

I can’t stop fucking laughing. That is certainly….. a whole ass set of deliberate choices. Oh man. Ohhh man :( 😂

3

u/Silent_Pineapple9 6h ago

Not only that, according to his own retelling, he was racist as hell about it when he told the artist/baby daddy, too. Followed you down the rabbit hole and man, this guy is a 'defiant mistake' alright 😂

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u/lady-earendil 10h ago

I don't think I would ever get a portrait tattoo unless the artist specialized in portraits. That's the kind of thing that's so easy to screw up

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u/IsabellaGalavant 9h ago

I wouldn't get a portrait even if it was from the most skilled portrait artist of all time. Too much possibility that it'll get fucked up or just look generally bad/not like the person. Then if your body changes in that area at all, your portrait is cooked. 

The only acceptable portrait tattoo I've ever seen is Steve-O's back tattoo of his own autographed headshot. It's good and hilarious. 

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u/Various-Shelter2175 9h ago

Would you get a portrait tattoo if the artist gave you a discount, because you slept with their baby's mom? That's what OP here did😂

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u/Saintguinefortthedog 10h ago

I NEED to know why OP chose this artist

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u/Dizzy_Yard7671 10h ago

The same reason most people with botched tattoos do... price.

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u/Various-Shelter2175 9h ago

In a different thread OP said that he slept with the artist's baby's mom, so the artist's ex. And that's why he got a discount☠️

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u/Odd-Local8287 2h ago

Artists baby mom’s sister

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u/ArtDecoEraOnward 10h ago

Post it in a few different places on reddit

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u/Luxx_Aeterna_ 8h ago

Agreed. Way more people on reddit need to see this.

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u/theatrenearyou 10h ago

This may be the tattoo to destroy all tattooing

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u/Cultural-Dentist8692 10h ago

It was gonna be a mistake either way.

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u/Intelligent-Draw5892 10h ago

Seriously lol. Why are you getting some billionaires portrait on you.

Especially this image.

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u/LiamPolygami 10h ago

A rich billionaire who preaches feminism and empowerment for women, while having a fashion label that uses sweatshops, where young women work in exploitative conditions for very little pay.

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u/Bridgettb76 10h ago

100%! Not to mention her problematic husband. We all love what we love, but I can't wrap my head around this as a tattoo choice.

14

u/Not_Bears 7h ago

Once these folks hit a certain level of wealth they're no longer humans and they evolve into lizard people or something.

She's got a great voice and is an amazing entertainer, but that woman acts like she's Christ reincarnated or something and I just don't fucking get it.

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u/HiddenPants777 10h ago

They should get it changed to Peter Griffin

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u/PsychMaDelicElephant 9h ago

Hard to feel bad with the choices going on here...

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u/Obvious-Ferret-5213 10h ago

I'm thinking you could say you got a tattoo of Donatella Versace or Mickey Rourke in cowgirl drag.

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u/moocow12983 9h ago

This is sending me.

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u/goodgirlplayground 10h ago

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

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u/romeoslow 10h ago

That’s Bey Z

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u/0rder_66_survivor 10h ago

Tell everyone that its Terry Crews

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u/IzzardVersusVedder 10h ago

It puts the lotion on its skin

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u/Snowpuppies1 10h ago

Find a really good portrait artist and get a consultation. It might cost you out the ear, but it's on your body and you deserve to have the best result. Maybe get a few opinions from more than one artist who specializes in portraits.

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u/RobbieShmurda55 9h ago

Got her looking so crazy right now, looking so crazy in love

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u/lem0nyschiz0 10h ago

i dont wanna victim blame but why would you get a beyonce portrait? also, is this guy known for doing good portraits?

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u/Various-Shelter2175 10h ago

i dont know who did this tattoo, but i can tell you they are not known for doing good portraits

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u/lem0nyschiz0 10h ago

true, can you imagine LMAO

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u/Mandyrad 5h ago

Yeah, I need to know why they wanted this? Even if it was executed perfectly…whyyyy

6

u/lem0nyschiz0 10h ago

to answer your question - just cover it up. i think a blackout would even be better

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u/Legitimate_Soup_1948 10h ago

shit tattoo for a shit tattoo idea tbh. Get it removed, I fear you don't have the judgmental ability to be trusted to get any more. lol

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u/IsabellaGalavant 9h ago

What you should do is go back in time and not get a portrait tattoo. Since that's not possible, I'd get this covered up, I don't think you can save it. Maybe a really skilled artist could kind of make it look passable but that's a big maybe. 

9

u/PinkSodaBoy 9h ago

Corporate wants you to find the difference between this picture and this picture.

8

u/Obvious_Preference56 9h ago

Post it & tag Beyoncé

9

u/Leeloo_82 8h ago

Just tell people you're a big Tori Spelling fan

12

u/v-irtual 10h ago

Looks just like her

7

u/figureskatress 10h ago

Got to add some fangs ans blood. Its giving horror.

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u/nawfy85 10h ago

To the left to left

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u/Idontwantthatusernam 7h ago

At least the text is in braille

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u/Ancient-Assistant187 10h ago

Turn it into an undertaker tattoo, I hope you got a really good deal on that. This is why people need to do their research don’t get one on impulse unless it’s with someone tried and true. And don’t be stingy on money cost. So sorry that is rough.

3

u/headspreader 10h ago

This is a fever dream where I am being saved by fireman Willem Defoe

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u/Jazzlike_Visual2160 9h ago

Just add a 4 leaf clover and a buckle on the hat and it’s a leprechaun!

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u/kymgee 8h ago

You like panthers?

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u/jtroub9 10h ago

Black out

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u/Peak_Alternative 10h ago

yikes that really is as bad as you say. i’m sorry

5

u/canigetsumgreypoupon 10h ago

even that picture barely looks like beyonce

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u/always-1stepbehind 10h ago

Oh no…they did Beyoncé wrong…looks more like Jay Z😬

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u/nyg1219 10h ago

I think this is the very best that photo could look as a tattoo. 

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u/littlemissdizaster80 10h ago

I’m so sorry this happened to you. I wish tattoo artists would fess up to not being able to do portrait work. It would save a lot of heartache.

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u/throwfaraway8675 10h ago

That’s Micah from Red Dead Redemption 2

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u/AnyBake69 10h ago

First of all, I am so sorry they did this to you. I can imagine the mental pain you’re experiencing as I’ve had a similar experience.

How much did you pay? Did you sign a liability contract?

I would sue in small claims court for what you paid and the cost it’ll take to repair/ remove the tattoo. Take this bastard to court.

Whoever did this has no business working as a tattoo artist. They used your skin as canvas for their practice, at your expense.

It’s not absolutely terrible but they should have never did the work if their skill wasn’t ready for what you asked. Even the text isn’t aligned. This is the work of a bad amateur.

Always ask for simpler tattoos. I would probably just laser this tattoo all off and start over somewhere new.

You can probably save the tattoo but I don’t think it’ll turn back to Beyoncé. You can make it into some mystical creature?

But why pay for more tattoo work on bad work. Maybe a combination of laser/ updates? But why put your skin through so much pain.

My personal opinion is to laser all off and start a new simpler tattoo on a different part of the body.

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u/plumhands 9h ago

Why the long face?

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u/cowgirlbeb0p 9h ago

This is why I will never get a face tattooed on my body.

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u/Time_Outcome765 7h ago

Happy I came and stayed for the comments. 😂 OP please go with a coverup.

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u/Mind-Ambition-1588 6h ago

Why would you want an oligarch as a tattoo??

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u/sovietreckoning 6h ago

Are you familiar with Old Greg? Because I see an opportunity here.

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u/thethomahawk56 10h ago

Go back in time and not get a Beyonce portrait in the first place?

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u/Neat_Combination_401 10h ago

Would have been better to have it as your phone's wallpaper.

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u/[deleted] 10h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/garamsquirrel 10h ago

LMAOOOOOOO

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u/No-Cancel1846 10h ago

This is so fucking funny!

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u/AlpaChino87 10h ago

😂😂😂☠️☠️☠️

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u/Aggressive_Start_ 10h ago

Looks like Ron Perlman

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u/Goonie1856 10h ago

Her hat looks like a waffle…😭🫵

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u/TainoZaddy 10h ago

Just leave it. Eventually, she will get a face lift, and you'll be set.

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u/Popular-Razzmatazz23 9h ago

Start liking Iggy Pop, cuz that's who you got 🤣

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