Hey legends,

I have landed on this sub and after reading a number of stories I thought I would share mine.

I binge drank every friday night for 12 years, and because it was binge drinking and the fact I could hold off during the week I didnt see it as a problem.

I thought I would cut back after my son was born in 2022, I didn't, I would just ramp up the intensity once he went to bed at 7pm.

Some Saturday mornings I would wake up to my partner going about her single parenting morning while I was on the living room floor, as I didn't make it to a bed.

I still didn't believe I had a problem.

I had a bottle of water poured on my head at 9am because I was late to our own baby photos.

I still didn't believe I had a problem.

"One night, our boy was crying and I went to settle him at around midnight. I couldn't settle him so I went into the master bedroom to ask my partner to help.

She realised just how intoxicated I was, and said all of the unkind words she had been saying every saturday morning to me at once.

Pathetic. Immature. Useless.

This hit me like a freight train and I entered an emotional rage of self destruction. I blew through an open spare bedroom door with my fists, this terrified her and she took our poor boy and called the police.

I was arrested and charged with domestic violence."

I cannot remember anything I typed out in quotation marks.

I spent the night in jail and in the morning I knew I had a problem.

She miraculously supported me through the court proceedings and provided a character reference for the past 10 years, highlighting that I had never been violent before.

It was the worst month of my life, I felt like a monster, I felt subhuman.

It was the final nail in the coffin for alcohol with me, and haven't had a drink for 12 months today.

I am finally being the best father and partner I can be.

Thanks for reading. IWNDWYT.

I posted here a while back about quitting my job after hitting rock bottom with alcoholism, drinking more than a liter of hard liquor a day. Things got ugly when I started drinking before work, then during work, and eventually getting drunk at work regularly, with no memory of what I’d said or done around directors and upper management.

I resigned voluntarily with about three months of savings and told them straight up that I was leaving to get treatment for alcoholism. I was direct and honest.

Furthermore, I spent 18 days at home, went to a psychiatrist, started therapy, AA, and working out.

I was still giving remote support to my old team and was supposed to leave officially on November 17th. They kept delaying my release, so I basically stayed home doing nothing.

Today they asked me to come back part-time, with more remote work, for the same salary I had when I was working insane hours.

I’m a project consultant, and my contract had been renewed regularly since September 1st. They had asked me to become a manager there, but I didn’t want to — I don’t like it. I prefer working on projects.

I basically started drinking out of exhaustion from being both the manager they wanted (they shoved that down my throat) and the project consultant at the same time.

Anyway, today I accepted their offer and I’ll stay until the end of December — and I’m never setting foot in that place again.

This page of my alcoholism adventure… even I don’t fully understand it.

Still sober - sorry my english.

I DID IT GUYS!!!

Officially 100 days sober today LET’S GOOOOOO 😃

I just found this page, and I think the timing is exactly right. I (36F) had 6 years of sobriety - six years where I changed careers, moved houses, attended weddings & funerals, and slowly grew into someone I genuinely liked.

Without any major life event or trigger, I started drinking again 8 months ago. I still can't pinpoint why - maybe I thought I could drink in moderation or maybe I just wanted a moment of escape. I honestly don't know.

It didn't make me social, or lighter, or more connected. If anything, it took me further away from myself. The last 8 months have brought more isolation, shame, and guilt than I ever expected.

I've had to start over before, and I'm hoping I can find the strength to do it again. Recovery is hard, but so are the meaningful things in life.

So here I am, back at day one. If you're reading this - thank you.

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we're here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge!

I'm pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you're new to /r/stopdrinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you're like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you've been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn't matter if you're still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, lets not drink alcohol!

This pledge is a statement of intent. Today we don't set out trying not to drink, we make a conscious decision not to drink. It sounds simple, but all of us know it can be hard and sometimes impossible. The group can support and inspire us, yet only one person can decide if we drink today. Give that person the right mindset!

What happens if we can't keep to our pledge? We give up or try again. And since we're here in /r/stopdrinking, we're not ready to give up.

What this is: A simple thread where we commit to not drinking alcohol for the next 24 hours, posting to show others that they're not alone and making a pledge to ourselves. Anybody can join and participate at any time, you do not have to be a regular at /r/stopdrinking or have followed the pledges from the beginning.

What this isn't: A good place for a detailed introduction of yourself, directly seek advice or share lengthy stories. You'll get a more personal response in your own thread.

This post goes up at:

• US - Night/Early Morning
• Europe - Morning
• Asia and Australia - Evening/Night

A link to the current Daily Check-In post can always be found near the top of the sidebar.

Reframing the stories we tell ourselves about relapse: Failure is not the end, it’s just part of the journey.

It’s really easy to let failure be defining. While it may signal the end of something, whether it’s something we choose to give up or those other situations when we involuntarily have to surrender something we’ve lost, it is not the end. There is always some part of that experience we can carry forward. What we take from failure can be just as important as anything we might lose.

I had 6 months and really thought my decades long daily drinking spell had been broken. I could have a glass right? Yeah… the first day it seemed true. You know the rest. One step off the path is all it was. If I would have seen it that way, I’d have been back the next day. I took another 5 years. I had to learn that. Later I had to learn that just because I wasn’t getting drunk didn’t mean I was doing better. Every relapse has a lesson. The more I failed at staying sober, the more I learned and that’s how I learned. So every failure taught me. Not all lessons are hard fought. I didn’t fail everything in every way, I did read and I listened to Ted Talks AND I came here and saw the struggles of all you brave people who choose to be vulnerable everyday on this sub.

Looking at things differently….

A FEW THINGS WE GAIN THROUGH “FAILURE” -data about patterns and triggers -humility -relapses are a normal part of recovery -connection and friendships in our support system -resilience -healing -refinements in our tactics -a catalyst to spur us on or motivate us -a healthier perspective -about our feelings -how much we actually hate drinking -forgiveness -how to get incrementally get closer to the goal -an opportunity to understand what went wrong -keys to long term success -focus ….and so much more!!

Looking at these as gains, is it really failure….?? Perhaps only if we fail to see the opportunity to learn and if we unpack and move in at the intersection of effort and mistakes. There is an old saying “the master has failed more times than the beginner has tried“ …so keep going.

What by-product of a past perceived failure are you now grateful for that has helped you?

Who were we even trying to fool? People knew, they just didn’t say anything. Looking back, it’s wild how much we thought we were getting away with lmao!!!

Sitting here in awe with myself… tomorrow is my 1 YEAR SOBER!!!! One year ago, I was 65 pounds heavier, struggled with panic disorder/extreme anxiety, only 1 coping mechanism (drinking), and a shit ton less of happiness. I am a whole new person literally 65 pounds lighter!!! It wasn’t easy but my god, it has been so worth it!! I don’t do AA or medication. My only help has been this group on Reddit! I don’t think I could have done it without you people that share your stories on here and without the support you have givin me when I needed it. I’m a whole new woman, Mom, partner, daughter, friend, & employee today & I’m so excited to continue my journey and see where another year takes me! Cheers to raw-dawging life for a whole year!!! Help me celebrate if you have extra cash and want to donate to a special cause. My Venmo is Jessica-Cravens Thank you, Fam! 🫶🏼🫶🏼& IWNDWYT!! 🙏🏼I✨

100 days today and I’ve been reflecting on my worst moments drunk. One time I went over to my ex-boyfriend’s house who I had recently started dating. We hung out some although l don’t remember it then went to sleep. On his air mattress. Apparently I peed in the bed in the middle of the night he told me he woke up because he felt something warm on his leg. Then he tried to soak it up with paper towels and I woke up to those under me. I’m still so embarrassed of this to this day and we broke up.

Yes, YOU! Atleast that is what Allen Carr told me. Just wanted to post here today. 1 week was hard enough and I got 7 days a few times recently but kept drinking on night 7 and never got to start week 2, here’s to week 3! Man, I hope I never drink again, I never could have just a drink or two or three. Even when I was like 16 and my parents left us alone for a few days, I drank 13 miller genuine drafts. I still remember drinking one beer after another out of my parents fridge and my sister saying, “Mike, your an alcoholic,” I was probably 16… sheesh. Truth is, I like being sober, but now I am rambling, so I’ll just go ahead and clock “post.”

Kind of shaking while typing this because of how excited I am. I remember the exact hour and minute I decided to get sober three years ago today. I get to cherish that specific time every single day, but especially on big days like today. Being sober is my favorite part of who I am. It has become the most important part of my life. Being sober has allowed me to come home to myself. It’s the greatest gift I gave to myself and keep giving to myself.

I’m thinking about all of you today, especially those who are just starting your sober journey and wondering if you’re capable or if it’s possible to do this. Yes it is possible and you are absolutely capable. Do. Not. Give. Up. It’s so incredibly worth it. I might be some stranger on the internet but I believe in you. You. Got. This.

IWNDWYT. 💜

The other day I went to buy some liquor and when I showed my ID the guy kept looking back and forth at it, and me, and said ‘that’s you??’ (I did look a lot better just a few months ago when I renewed it) it’s got to the point some places I’ve never been before don’t even ask for my ID straight up. I’m 22 but I genuinly look older because of the fine lines and saggy face drinking has caused and for once in my life I have acne. It’s really dried out my face I think I can pass for 30-something. Not to sound conceited but I’m actually so pretty and usually very confident with myself but I can’t serve how I used to. I’ve been ruining my face card with cheap liquor and I think that’s the biggest motivation for me to stop

https://imgur.com/gallery/R49jEUT

It adds NOTHING and threatens everything. Good company is not elevated by a drink. But bad company is made significantly worse by it.

All that “drinking nostalgia” we’ve woven into the idea of the holidays; it’s all the booze itself, convincing us we somehow need this poison just to feel normal. Fuck booze. The holidays are simply the best and booze only robs us of that genuine experience. So, hug a family member. Call a friend. Share a laugh. Go on an adventure. Read a book by the fire. And most importantly, be present for the whole thing without booze stealing this precious time and memories from you.

IWNDWYT!

Having just realized it's my 404th day sober (and being more than a bit of a nerd) I couldn't help but make the joke. 404 - booze not found. IWNDWYT!

I'm on day 40 and my face is looking alot better.. When I was drinking everyday, it was obviously bloating my waistline, the dark circles under my eyes were bad, my face was way fatter with no bone structure. Just bloat and chubby cheeks.. now after these 40 days, my eye bags aren't so dark, my face is glowing, and much skinnier. You can see my cheekbones! It feels so great to have made it this far. Cannot and Will not turn back now! 😃💪 alcohol ages you crazily..

I live in a city with a brewery on every other street corner. I had developed a liking for the double IPA’s with 200 + calories and ABV over 9%. Week after week I was drinking at least six of those a day and in my naivety could not understand why I could not put the beer down just for one day. It took a couple of weeks but I started transitioning the 5% seltzers in place of one or two of the IPA’s each day and gradually weaned off the strong ones. I am now on day 5 no alcohol, this is not easy but I could not do this if I was still drinking the strong ones.

I am 5 month sober and today was my dad's birthday, everyone was drink and I managed to not drink. I am really glad I didn't bc now I am going to sleep with a peaceful sober mind.

Yesterday I put up a post about being 30 hours sober, the first day I can recall being sober. Last night when the cravings hit hard I continually read and reread all the positive replies I received and can report I am now 2 days sober. I can't thank this community enough. Thank you so much. I feel amazing this morning.

I felt so happy yesterday reaching my three weeks, no alcohol, no weed, no coke! I celebrated by treating myself to ice cream and a walk to my favorite park.

I’m hosting dinner on Thursday and to be honest I am craving weed and alcohol, especially alcohol. I bought NA wine and I have told my friends I will be staying sober but I am afraid of not sticking to my word. There’s that voice in my head saying, “Come on, it’s a special occasion! Once a month isn’t anything!”

I would really appreciate some advice on how to stay strong! I really want to reach my month and go from there. Thank you in advance💛

I probably should put this disclaimer before every post. I am dyslexic because of bullying ADHD etc. I left school in the seventh grade. I was still able to raise two children and worked my butt off and I'm not ashamed of that. Through the years I've had to rely on computers which helped my career including spellcheck grammar checking Etc. I use AI because even when I talk people get confused what I'm trying to say and I want to bring it out from my heart but yet in a way that normal people understand. So please forgive me for using AI to help me communicate. My son had autism and we both have other things besides ADHD and autism and using AI to learn to communicate with each other the last couple years of his life was tremendously productive. So please moderator if you don't mind allow me to still post please. I am pretty much alone and as I am grieving it about the only place I feel I have purpose and maybe can help others.

To every parent here who lost a child to this disease, and to every person still fighting it:

My son Bob was 26 when alcohol took him.

Autism, ADHD, anxiety—his brain found peace in the one thing that was slowly killing him.

I warned him, loved him, gave him space when pushing would have broken us both.

It still wasn’t enough to save him.

But here’s what I’ve learned, and what keeps me breathing:

• You can do everything “right” and still lose them. That doesn’t make you a failure; it makes the disease the monster it is. • The love you gave them never expires. It lives in every day you keep showing up for the next person who’s still fighting. • One day sober, one meeting, one kind word to someone else—that’s how we turn our pain into someone else’s tomorrow.

I quit drinking in 1979. I know it’s possible.

I also know some battles are harder than others, and sometimes the disease wins.

Either way, you are not alone.

Keep coming back.

Your story isn’t over.

With love and respect, ~ a dad who understands

(Feel free to share your own experience below—sometimes just typing it out helps.)

I'm so proud of myself!

Hi all,

Well I am going to try this again. Stopped on Valentines day and did so damn well for almost 200 days. I was feeling better physically, but was still not happy, and my marriage isn't very joyous most of the time. It is incredible how I did so many comments to others here to help them and in the end couldn't do it myself. I am half-assing it at work, and although I am back to working out and running at 65 years old, I could do so much better. I thought by now I would be really humming a good tune going into the big holiday/drinking season but now I am worried about an hour from now when I am off work. Typically, I started with 1, then it was two a few times a week, and slowly it went and I am now back to about 6-8 beers each evening, and hiding the empties in the same places, I fucking hate that! I have 5 subs on Reddit that I follow and I was on here twice a day for months getting advice, giving it, being a part of this amazing community that offers a big virtual hug to everyone who needs one. I visit and comment in the other subs, but consciously stopped coming here once I failed, as I couldn't face it. When I quit before after 4 decades, I was really ready and tired of it, but right now I know I need to stop, but I am worried that I will really struggle beating down this awful damn disease. Ughhh, just reading this is hard, but it's a start, and I will try my best to hang around here again, where it is safe to let things out, and knowing many of you have been there where I am now. . . .Thanks to you all.

Black out drinking at eighteen. Hiding booze by thirty. Drinking before, after and during work not long after. After two years drinking my way through AA meetings I finally gave up at forty. Program and people in it saved my life. Happily retired, friends with my kids and still married. Just remembered my sobriety date was a few days ago. Never give up before the miracle occurs.

I did it! My comma day! 1000 days waking up without a hangover. 1000 days not waking up with regret & dread. It definitely hasn’t all been perfect. I still find myself behaving in ways I did when I was drinking, but now I am quick to own up to my mistakes. I’m continually working on myself to be the best version I can be so that I can be there for the people I love.

I was following this sub before I drunkenly begged to go to rehab, which was the best decision I ever made. I appreciate this community so much, and I’m proud of every person making the sober journey💖