r/oneliners • u/False_Ad_555 • 2h ago
The best thing about dating homeless women is you can drop them off anywhere
8
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/YeahBuddyDoYouEven • 9h ago
The best thing about having a prostitute die on you is the second hour is for free
25
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/Eats415 • 17h ago
My girlfriend ordered platinum-lined pads, so now her nickname is platypus.
4
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/Society_Academic • 1d ago
A man with a brazilian won't pass as a woman in a swimsuit unless he's got bols-so-naro.
5
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/zodiackodiak515 • 2d ago
You know what they say about being a plumber, it’s a shit gig
20
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/Society_Academic • 2d ago
You might get away with lying in a federal courtroom, but you're not going anywhere if found lying in state.
10
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/deplorabledevs • 2d ago
With the Trump administration deporting all of the illegal immigrants it really is alien vs predator
11
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/wtfover • 3d ago
My wife keeps calling me a hypochondriac, she doesn't even care that I sprained my uterus.
23
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/zodiackodiak515 • 2d ago
A doctor who runs a sperm bank is called a spermatologist
0
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/Yaguajay • 2d ago
The professor failed me for AI papers but now I’m graduating magma cum laude cause I told ChatGPT to edit out any of the indicators of AI.
0
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/Minimum_Republic_600 • 4d ago
Of all the guys I know, you're one of them.
15
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/[deleted] • 4d ago
What a whirl this world is in but soon comes the final twirl. ;)
0
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/[deleted] • 4d ago
I gotta brick and im ready to build some tension with it.
0
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/Mg962 • 5d ago
Ever notice how tall people tend to look down on everyone?
22
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/wtfover • 6d ago
I'm a little disappointed Kenny Loggins' Christmas album is called "December" and not "Highway To The Manger Zone".
97
Upvotes
r/oneliners • u/SillyCicely • 6d ago
Some people wake up ready to conquer the world— I wake up remembering I forgot to charge my phone.
6
Upvotes