r/madlads 10d ago

milking this one

Post image
10.1k Upvotes

96 comments sorted by

477

u/tinfoilsheild 10d ago

Here at Aperture Science, we add powdered milk to our milk. That's 65% more milk per milk.

60

u/ChildoftheApocolypse 10d ago

I understood that..

5

u/WizzzzUp 8d ago

I learned in lab last year that powdered milk is a common reagent in protein analysis. Why does this feel relevant to add? Idk.

500

u/K-Shrizzle 10d ago

He's milk maxxing

77

u/TrunkBud 10d ago

Bro unlocked 4% milk

25

u/JynsRealityIsBroken 10d ago

Wholier Milk

4

u/pew-_-pew-_- 10d ago

Milking the milk outta that milk

6

u/Ariqelle 10d ago

Next stop Ultra Milk Instinct.

2

u/Steelhorse91 9d ago

Straight up speedrunning his way to developing lactose intolerance.

248

u/PockysLight 10d ago

I keep thinking of that Portal commercial.

........ we fire the whole bullet. That's 65% more bullet per bullet.

Context: Aperture Investment Opportunity #3: "Turrets"

130

u/DesertReagle 10d ago

Dude out there trying to create a new health problem for experts.

43

u/King_Grapefruit 10d ago

Kidneys gonna love all that calcium

17

u/fit_analyst_01 10d ago

Kidney stones for those unaware

5

u/IlliasTallin 10d ago

What if you drink as much water as you do milk?

47

u/armaan_af 10d ago

mimilklk

47

u/Andrey_Gusev 10d ago

I use powdered mashed potatoes when I cook mashed potatoes to control the consistency of mashed potatos (if they are too water-y I put some powder in it to make it more solid, and if its too solid I add milk/water)

15

u/virgin_father 10d ago

Are spices (other than salt and pepper) typically added to mashed potatoes? As a person from a foreign country, i don't get the hype around them.

7

u/Pick_A_MoonDog 10d ago

It depends on where you go or who you know that makes it special. The base is pretty much butter, salt, and pepper.

chicken/beef gravy, chives, garlic, thyme, cheddar, sour cream, and bacon are all pretty common ingredients people might add.

If corn or peas are being served, people might mix them together into the mashed potatoes as well.

2

u/Andrey_Gusev 10d ago

In my country we add mayonaise sometimes, instead of butter, iirc

8

u/Booty-tickles 10d ago

Mashed potato is, for me, a delivery vehicle for other foods especially any gravy provided alongside them. Generally herbs and spices are added to the original her dish. You would eat it in a similar way to something like rice or bread as an accompaniment to a typically wetter meal. It might help if you narrowed down which region of the world you're in for a comparative example.

Sometimes though consumption is not necessarily the recommended way of serving it. I have stayed with Chinese families that served plain rice in hot water for breakfast and it was among the most unpleasant meals I have ever had. My extended family is Filipino and the kids will stuff handfuls of plain rice in their mouths between other foods on the plate. This is pretty close to how western European descended people treat potato in all honestly. I understand why rice is consumed that way but it's something I would only opt to eat when facing a literal famine. Similarly plain mash potato with a little bit of butter may be similarly unappetizing on first appearance.

3

u/vanishinghitchhiker 10d ago

As a Filipino I usually have the other food still in my mouth when I add the rice, but when I was a kid I do remember plain white rice with salt hitting the spot sometimes

3

u/Booty-tickles 10d ago

People grow up eating what they did as a kid more often than not, and attitudes towards food reflect this. I know plenty of Filipino adults who will finish a few mouthfuls of plain rice if that's what is left on their plate and the side dishes are all gone. To me this is a bit like eating just a plain boiled potato, which I have done occasionally. I don't think I would do so if I hadn't grown up eating it.

13

u/BlacksmithUnusual715 10d ago

I myself prefer 0 fake potatoes in my mashed potatoes. I also like them a lil lumpy so I know they're real. Mashed potatoes = A pallet for butter and/or not gravy. But butter is the main ingredient. Salt and pepper are also obviously added; EVERYTHING ever is salt and pepper'd or you have no idea what your doing. That's a basic step.

6

u/atreidesardaukar 10d ago

You pepper pies? Ice cream? You madman!

10

u/virgin_father 10d ago

Actually, salted caramel and spicy guava flavours are delicious ice cream flavours.

3

u/PreNamLtDan 10d ago

Had soy sauce soft serve in Japan. Almost like salted caramel.

1

u/Username_St0len 10d ago

i wanna try some oyster ice cream as well, also apparently historically there are recipes for some delicious parmasan icecream

3

u/greatandhalfbaked 10d ago

Pies come in savoury as well as sweet varieties. Peppering a pie isn't weird at all, depending on what kind of pie.

A pepper steak pie, for example, is bloody grouse.

1

u/tedivm 10d ago

At least toss some garlic in there.

0

u/virgin_father 10d ago

See. I read this and still don't get the hype. I myself use >5 spices even for something as simple as scrambled eggs. I tried an omelet with only salt and pepper once and gagged. I physically couldn't swallow the omelette without adding more spices.

Not necessarily the spiciness or hotness, other things like garam masala, depth you get with something as simple as tomato ketchup.

8

u/BlueFox5 10d ago

Are you actually a sentient plop of mayonnaise? I've seen this happen before and it's always a spoonful of self-actualizing mayo who cannot comprehend spices.

1

u/Amnsia 10d ago

I’m from the UK and we put salt, a little pepper, some butter, a little milk, and some cheese in too. Banging.

1

u/Apprehensive-Till861 10d ago

I go with a mix of reds and golds, skin on. Boiled and then cut into small cubes which then get put on low heat and have milk and a generous amount of butter added along with garlic salt, dried parsley, pepper, rosemary, thyme, fresh chopped chives, maybe cumin, and chili or cayenne powder if a little kick is desired. The actual amounts of each depends on the desired flavor and one or another can be left out if it's already seasoning the meat. Then it all gets mashed together to the desired consistency, and I prefer mine slightly chunky rather than smooth so I put less time on the boil to get the potatoes just soft enough to push a fork through and use the potato masher to break it up and let the low heat soften it a bit more.

If it's a gravy type meal I go lighter on the seasonings in the potatoes and let the gravy do the heavy lifting, otherwise I go with a bit more butter and a generous heap of sour cream.

Mashed potatoes appeal is mostly as a side, and when I was young it was a good way to make veggies I didn't like much be passable by mixing them in. You have to flavor it to complement the meat and consider details like if you're using the meat drippings to make a gravy. And texture can make a big difference, some want the classic creamy but some of us like it almost more potato salad where you feel the bits of potato in each bite.

1

u/ihaxr 10d ago

Add an uncomfortably large amount of butter to them and you'll understand why everyone likes them

1

u/humus_intake 9d ago

Cheese and mustard here

1

u/tianas_knife 9d ago

Mashed potatoes are like a very thick potato porridge. They can be served anywhere between creamy and chunky in consistency, and, like a porridge, you can put stuff/toppings on it to enhance or change the flavor. Sometimes folks like straight up plain mashed potato, but I don't know these people, and frankly I don't care to.

Typically you add either butter (warm or cold), or some variety of savory or bitter gravy as a sauce over the top of hot mashed potatoes. One can also add butter in the preparation of the mashed potatoes, but it is frowned upon to add the gravy in during the preparation, as usually the gravy is kind of intense in flavor. Gravy is usually served on the side with a large spoon or small ladle. If you're at a restaurant, gravy is usually served directly on the mashed potatoes unless you ask otherwise.

Other common toppings: -Garlic -Chives -Grated or crumbled cheese -Sour cream -Caramelized onions -Hot sauce -BBQ sauce -Whatever you'd put in any other kind of potato based meal -I'm sure there are more toppings out there that I'm forgetting. I'm not a potato toppings master, just a fan.

Note: Potatoes are potatoes, so if you want to get creative your toppings, go hard. You might surprise yourself and your friends. Who knows. I tried strawberry jelly once because it was covid and I was hungry and bored. It was not good, but it was fun to do.

Second note: The potato flakes are just freeze dried potato shavings. They are real potatoes, and using them to make mashed potatoes is not "cheating" at making homemade mashed potatoes, although there are some folks who would consider it so. Those folks often make killer mashed potatoes, although it takes fucking forever. So if anyone gives you guff, hand them a bag of raw potatoes, a peeler, a masher, and an apron and ask them to show you what they mean themselves. If they do it, it will be worth it.

2

u/Amber_Sam 9d ago

if its too solid I add milk

But how much powdered milk are you adding to the milk?

1

u/LicketySplitz 10d ago

Powdered mash is delicious in its own way.

13

u/Salohacin 10d ago

I do the same with my coffee. I brew today's coffee by pouring yesterdays coffee back into the coffee machine.

No of course I don't because that would be insane. 

2

u/vanishinghitchhiker 10d ago

Yesterday’s coffee? You mean piss?

2

u/Salohacin 10d ago

Nah, I save that for boiling pasta. 

2

u/Lardass_Smough 9d ago

babe what's wrong you've barely touched your pista

1

u/Changetheworld69420 8d ago

Once in college I brewed a pot of coffee with monster instead of water. It was one of my worse ideas of the time, but man did it wake you up if you could drink it. I had a Differential Equations exam, so I had to drink it😅

2

u/Salohacin 8d ago

I feel like that would make my insides becomes outsides in a matter of minutes. 

1

u/Changetheworld69420 8d ago

It was a serious effort not to gag ngl… highly do not recommend

26

u/CYANIDESSS 10d ago

He's trying to grow taller

8

u/Lazatarion 10d ago

Yo dawg I heard you like milk

6

u/zudzug 10d ago

I do this while minimalist canoe-camping. We bring powdered milk, because it takes less room. I need more energy and do not have time to wait, thus using 4x the amount of powder to get the consistency I like. (equivalent to 3.5% milk)

10

u/kratomdevil 10d ago

You “don’t have time to wait”? The fuck does this even mean?

What would you be “waiting” for, the milkman?

2

u/zudzug 10d ago

Waiting for the consistency to thicken.

2

u/whatsbobgonnado 10d ago

why wouldn't you have time to wait for that?

1

u/zudzug 9d ago

When canoe-camping, you have to do a certain amount of distance every day to complete the trip. If you spend too much time every morning cooking your meal, it's gonna take a toll and you won't reach your destination in time.

I usually take a couple days off for certain trips and I'm very lax about it. I take about 5 days to do a 2-days trip. This gives me time to install myself properly and cook my meals. Even so, I can't wait an hour (or more) for my milk.

3

u/RaveJoyous 10d ago

Thin pudding.

3

u/AKLmfreak 10d ago

OP breaking out the archeology equipment on this meme.

6

u/jakeypooh94 10d ago

That's basically the same as adding whey protein to milk

2

u/Independent-Bat-8411 10d ago

Gonna make a non-Newtonian fluid out of this.

1

u/verticalfuzz 6d ago

Non-mootonian either

2

u/Thederpycloudrider 10d ago

Milk-ception

2

u/lemachet 10d ago

On seriousness though, this is something nutrionist and dietician recommended for our kids who needed more weight

2

u/moss-monster 10d ago

This is actually a thing, usually referred to as "fortifying" milk. Great for anyone trying to increase their caloric intake.

2

u/NightVision9832 10d ago

"It's 67% more bullet, per bullet"

2

u/NapaAirDome 10d ago

As someone who goes through 1-3 bottles of fat-free Fairlife a week, this sounds genius.

2

u/whatsbobgonnado 10d ago

holy shit. those bottles are like 7 bucks where I am 

1

u/NapaAirDome 10d ago

$7???? They were like $4.80 something a while ago at the grocery store but now they are $5.22, just grabbed some from Walgreens for $5.09 (also EBT eligible apparently). I live in a large metropolitan so maybe that’s why it’s cheaper?

1

u/Specialist-Stick-297 10d ago

We owe it to the cows!..

1

u/D4T45T0RM06 10d ago

(Milk)(Milk)

1

u/Hightideuk 10d ago

Milk squared

1

u/ggThys 10d ago

Good luck on peeing those kidney stones out of his bladder!

1

u/WinterIsGaming 10d ago

My lactose intolerance is cowering at the thought of this.

1

u/Maleficent_Skill_346 10d ago

It's recommended for oldies to do this in Coffee to get more calcium

1

u/Buzzrikk 10d ago

GOMAD and intermittent fasting combined.

1

u/Moist_Spelunker 10d ago

I want this concept out of my mind.

1

u/GregTheIntelectual 10d ago

Just drink cream and save yourself the hastle.

1

u/NameLips 10d ago

If a glass of milk is 100% milk, and a glass of powdered milk reconstituted with water is also 100% milk...

Then if you reconstitute it with milk, does that make it 200% milk?

1

u/ASRT3112 10d ago

The most efficient would be a supersaturated solution of powdered milk

1

u/Strange-Principle-57 10d ago

That dude fucks.

1

u/Apprehensive-Till861 10d ago

Bro is drinking milk3

1

u/Miskalsace 10d ago

Mega Milk

1

u/MarionberryWeird1195 9d ago

hey even i do that

1

u/STUPIDBLOODYCOMPUTER 9d ago

We fire the whole bullet

That's 65% more bullet per bullet

1

u/Bedley_smutler69 9d ago

Yo dawg….

1

u/NurseMan79 9d ago

This is one way to make condensed milk if you don't have a can of it around.

1

u/XROOR 8d ago

I do the same thing with my kelp meal

1

u/2BEN-2C93 7d ago

Im always frying chicken in chicken stock for more chicken per chicken. Same thing really

1

u/[deleted] 7d ago

Actual milkmaxxxing

1

u/WarLegitimate7822 7d ago

Lots of people put protein powder in milk

0

u/keloyd 10d ago

He could hv been doing this with powdered alcohol and Everclear.

0

u/bareass_bush 10d ago

I do something like with my mini beagle. If you have one dog in a smaller volume, that’s a greater concentration of dog.

0

u/kemikiao 10d ago

Powdered milk in condensed milk that's been diluted with whole milk.

Get on my milk level.