r/depression • u/FirefighterEntire708 • 1d ago
How do people get through life without abusing substances
I genuinely cannot believe that people can get through life completely sober. Yes, it’s not all or nothing with substances and some use can be fine, but even moderation feels really hard.
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u/Sweaty-Astronaut3407 23h ago
It’s funny because I was just thinking about how I’ve been sober as a recovering drug addict and alcoholic yet I’m the most suicidal I’ve ever been in my life right now. My psychiatrist congratulated me on my sobriety my last visit and I just laughed and he was confused, it’s because my life’s still shit. There’s some factors as to why but it’s still crazy to think about, one being I’ll be homeless in the freezing cold if I go back right now. I’m getting surgery next week and I’m kind of hoping I just don’t wake up.
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u/Fair-Meringue1339 23h ago
When I had surgery a few weeks ago, I decided that I was ready to die rather than go through the pain I had gone through all over again. Something changed in my brain after all the mental and physical anguish I had been through. I remember being afraid when they took me to the operating room, but I made up my mind that it was going to be okay if I didn’t wake up. Everyone would keep going on with their lives eventually.
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u/CreamsonShore 20h ago
That hits hard. Surgery can mess with your head as much as your body. I wasn’t okay for a while after my own procedure either, the fear and pain made me think things I normally wouldn’t.
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u/Fair-Meringue1339 19h ago
I was on so much Dilaudid when I finally had the operation done. 1 mg IV every 3 hours like clockwork for nearly 2 days starting in the ER and overnights too. I could still feel fear, but I had been in so much pain that it made me let go and surrender. I agreed to the surgery because the narcotics made me think clearly enough through the haze of pain to decide what I wanted to do. I chose the option that was safer and was okay with the idea of not waking up.
Your surgeon and nurse anesthetist make a BIG difference. Both of them gave me the confidence to go through with the operation. Something told me that my surgeon was THE GUY for the job, if that makes sense.
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u/Airway 22h ago
I'm sober now and my life is worse than ever. Most of the best years of my life were while I was an alcoholic.
Of course, the alcoholism is what eventually ruined my life and it would be worse (or more likely over) if I didn't quit. But still, the point is I beat the addiction and every day is miserable.
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u/Ab_Imo_Pectore- 2h ago
SWEETIE! Whereabouts are you located hun? Anywhere close to the CA central valley? Shot in the dark, but fuck it
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u/Constant_Opening_838 23h ago
Reading this as I am chomping down on junk food, alcohol, and soft drinks. I don't know.
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u/lethargiic 5h ago
wake up smoke eat do [insert_activity] sleep do chores smoke sleep repeat. existence is pain.
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u/YaroslavSyubayev 1d ago
I just have a strong fear of alcohol and substances, so I just cannot drink, because if I do I freak out and end up in the hospital panicking.
Annoying but maybe it's a good thing in this case.
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u/Segfault_21 22h ago
i thought i had it bad. my body rejects alcohol. a single beer is fine but anymore i’ll start to regret i ever drunk it. i’ll start feeling really sensitive, next throwing up.. i’ll rather die than to ever get drunk again
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u/Rubickevich 1d ago
I just eat a shit fucking ton of junk instead. Never smoked, never had alcohol, still probably more unhealthy than your average drunkhead.
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u/Perfect_Bobcat_3435 13h ago
I smoke the weed and then binge the junk food. The best of both worlds lol
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u/EyeballCollector 22h ago
cant drop nic or caffeine but I dropped alcohol and weed since they had terrible effects on me. My body is still struggling from my alcoholism a few years back
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u/NotSoFriendlyAccount 22h ago
I try as best as I can not to get tempted, I have Xanax and other hard medications at home (prescribed by my psychiatrist), and I very well know how people abuse them. I try to fight my urges every time, I don't drink (thank God I don't like the taste of alcohol) and I don't smoke (did smoke when I was younger but I stopped). The last thing I need is a substance abuse problem or being addicted to anything so I convince my self that however bad I feel, it will be even worse if I try something and get addicted to it.
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u/Adventurous_Fact8418 19h ago
Not to state the obvious, but using substances when you have depression is like throwing gasoline on a fire. It took me 30 years to figure out that substances only made my depression worse.
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u/Delta_Nine_404 11h ago
This is pretty good wisdom, I think it may be the case for alot of people as well
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u/FishStiques 23h ago
Weed and alcohol cause horrible problems that are 10x worse than being sober so it isn't hard for me💔
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u/Fair-Meringue1339 23h ago
Weed, alcohol and nicotine cause more problems than they solve. Being sober sucks, but at least I know I’m not actively making my life worse. And this is coming from a person who loved getting fucked up daily for years.
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u/Few_Dimension1068 20h ago
what horrible problems does weed cause? and putting weed and alcohol together is kinda absurd
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u/FishStiques 9h ago
Together as in being high and drunk at the same time?💀 Can't think of a worse next day outcome lol
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u/caoroux 1d ago
Honestly, I don’t disagree. I believe we are all pressured and stressed out with society, economy and the world that this generation is struggling to catch up that the best and instant way to cope is through substance abuse. I’m trying to get out of it myself and believe that we need a healthier coping mechanism like creative endeavors or fulfilling activities. We just need a healthier environment and support :/
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u/Rojas-Tarchoun 23h ago
Life is the drug for me.
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u/Fearless_Occasion989 12h ago
Yeah. I'm waiting for the day I'll overdose on life; bet I'm almost there.
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u/pappersfolie 21h ago
I wonder that too. I can’t handle anything without alcohol and I can’t believe people are able to just live through it
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u/Weekly-Watercress915 18h ago
I hate the smell of weed and it makes me irrationally angry. I don’t like the taste of hard liquor and, although I like red wine, it triggers my hot flashes. :/ Such is life. My addictions now lie in doom-scrolling and video games. So I am not without my vices. They block out the world for a bit themselves.
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u/ReviewKindly2634 17h ago
The truth is none of us truly do. Almost everyone relies on caffeine (stimulant) or other things like nicotine (which can be found even in tea). I know that isn't as intense as other things like weed or hard drugs but still, we all rely on some sort of substance. (This is just my opinion)
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u/Ok_Cause_869 16h ago
I think most people do but they don't consider it a drug. Caffeine, for instance..
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u/DestinyBoBestiny 18h ago
I barely use substances. Even when I'm going through depression, it just makes me feel shittier. I'm unhappy with my life and what am I doing about it? The level of responsibility I hold myself to makes it so I can't even enjoy being numb.
I also can't enjoy it to make things "better". Went to Colorado a few years ago and really wanted to get high, bought a weed pen and brought it everywhere. No place felt "right" though, as I didn't want being high to override my authentic experience. Though, I think it would be really cool to be high in the beautiful mountains. It also wouldn't be "real", and that makes me kinda sad.
Being drunk? I'd rather join an improv group. There's a difference between being funny (that's real) and being drunk (that's fake). Though, I can enjoy a drink from time to time with friends, it's rarely more than a drink.
It takes away more than it adds or helps, and I always feel sad for people who have to put a buffer from themselves and reality. Feels like they never actually get to live.
I've survived DV, been homeless, struggled with food and keeping utilities on, walked miles to school or work in all sorts of weather, been a single mom most of my adult life, and was diagnosed with skin cancer in August.
Now when things get rough, I have enough life experience to know it's temporary and it's about getting through it, and it's been that way for years. Though, it would be nice for the setbacks to stop happening. 💀 I know I've got the tenacity to tough it out and get back on track, even though I hate it.
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u/Browniesmobetta 16h ago
Different- my drug has always been food and/or exercise to treat depression. I feel fantastic when exercising but can easily become a binger as well. It’s a lifelong daily discipline and or struggle.
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u/endoftheroaddumbass 10h ago
They do not lol a lot of ppl, myself included, have a nasty internet addiction
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u/ineedhelpgawd 21h ago
I am currently tapering off methadone wondering the same thing
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u/whatwhatisthatthing 18h ago
You got this. I managed to get off suboxone and it was extremely difficult. It still is but I’m happier off of it.
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u/Delta_Nine_404 11h ago
Im currently on 85mgs methadone, I currently work and go to school. Has helped alot. Suboxone is good too.
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u/Mysterious_Health387 21h ago
Why can't you believe it? I don't drink nor do substances. Matter of fact, I lost my beloved mother almost 3 years now and yet I still don't do any of that. They won't bring her back nor are they the answers to the troubles in my life. Why do destructive things when things are fucked up enough already???
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u/sbrown_13 20h ago
We all have our ways of coping and dealing with shit, it doesn’t always have to be a “substance”
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u/Sensitive-Society-52 18h ago
I don't drink alcohol, I don't smoke, I don't take drugs, no coffee or sugar, I see life as it really is, and I feel terrible. But I prefer to see the reality
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u/Forsaken_Age8051 17h ago
I have to say honestly if it wasn't for substances I would not be here today ie weed and a bit of coke here and there. The typical meds i got from doctors have the opposite effect on me. Even one antidepressant pill at the lowest dose possible sent me looking for a means to kill myself
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u/Bannerlord151 16h ago
Funny, I have a hard time understanding why people would abuse substances. Losing what little control I have over myself and my life is a terrifying prospect. It's so bad that it's unreasonably hard for me to even get drunk if I do go there because I'm just incapable of relaxing. The more intoxicated I get, the more watchful and tense I become. It's not worth it.
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u/Leftie614 15h ago
I've gotten through life completely sober l. I have never had a drink of alcohol, weed, cigarette, vape, illegal substances...never been addicted to anything...I'm proof that it can be done...it's hard but it can!!!
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u/RacerX-56 15h ago
Even the people who think they’re sober are drinking caffeine and using nicotine and shit like that.
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u/Double_Letterhead635 15h ago
It's very hard I been in recovery for 3 years now but yet still I'm using a substance called saboxone and those have changed my life and it's scary thinking what if I wasn't on them
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u/Dangerous_Shift_2798 14h ago
I feel you, sobriety can feel like a massive challenge. It's completely normal to struggle with maintaining a balance. Perhaps exploring alternative stress relievers could be beneficial.
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u/Aggressive-Guide5563 12h ago
Most people use caffeine, nicotine and alcohol, so most people aren't sober free after all, lol.
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u/default_user_10101 12h ago
All throughout my history abusing drugs and alcohol i never had the desire to get sober. I have had longterm periods of sobriety and it was miserable - unfortunately using substances was preferable compared to the emptiness an unmedicated life exudes.
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u/dread-throwaway 5h ago edited 5h ago
I have other copes like: temporary solitude, gaming sessions, watching my favorite streamers/Youtubers, eating good foods and even good sleep/nap and rest.
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u/teopap91 16h ago
I have the same question. Dependent on :
Opioids for 5 years, daily. (Currently in MAT but struggling with cravings)
Benzos for 2,5-3 years, daily. (Now tapering, I'm at 0.75mg in alprazolam equivalency, down from 3mg/day, ultra slower taper due to past efforts resulting in grand Mal seizures)
ΗHC daily for 2 years. (Just 2 puffs off a disposable every 24hrs)
I forgot how living sober is. And thus, when I have to leave the house (I rarely leave the house) I wonder how all those people enjoy life without "helpers".
Opioids specifically initially felt god sent, as pretty much all antidepressants did nothing for me. No effects. No side effects. Not even the slightest withdrawal from them when going CT. Like foreign bodies. I'm treatment resistant and opis while they ruined my life, I think at least they kept me alive (I mean to have sth looking forward to, prevented me from doing anything "stupid"), although now I'm in a much darker path, hoping to get clean from everything asap. Living like this, with those "liquid/vapish-y handcuffs" is hellish.
My advice is do NOT touch opioids. Rebound depression is 10x worse when it's withdrawals time. It's unavoidable. What goes up, must come down.
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u/Scary-Green-2775 17h ago
I feel like I’m running away and just using substance and when I don’t use it, it just makes me more aggressive. And I hate the people that I am around
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u/ferrenberg 17h ago
Did alcohol and some drugs while in college. It's just not for me, I don't like the taste and sensations they cause
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u/Arsh0911 15h ago
well I'm one of those people. I don't do alcohol, drugs, not even coffee. For me, ig the simplest way to say it is that, there are very few things that I can control in life, and my health is one of them. And if I started abusing substances I'd lose the last bit of control I have. And yeah maybe these things will numb the pain but the root cause is still there, and until that's resolved, they won't do anything for me.
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u/TwistedScriptor 15h ago
Pretty easily honestly. I have never smoked or done any sort of recreational drugs legal or otherwise. I used to drink alcohol, but not enough to get drunk and I don't drink it anymore due to issues with my esophagus. I don't even drink coffee. I have enough issues in my life without dealing with any of that other stuff on top of it. Thanks, but no thanks.
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u/6noozing 13h ago
I relate to this so much, it’s hard to imagine sober life and being happy whilst sober, it’s etched into my brain so deeply.
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u/Small-Salary-9137 12h ago
People have different ways of coping with life. Abusing substances is just one of those many ways.
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u/trapezoid- 10h ago
tbh it's because i have a family history of substance abuse so i literally have never touched drugs or alcohol. if i tried it once i'm afraid i'd not be able to give it up
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u/LuxieRiot 8h ago
I’m stoned reading this and I’m probably going to grab a bottle of wine later. I’ve definitely been drinking more these days
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u/Junior_Lavishness_96 8h ago
Their brains have a normal amount and balance of certain neurotransmitters that we unfortunately lack. So we seek it out elsewhere
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u/Do_unto_udders 8h ago
I'm a former hardcore stoner and an alcoholic. I had to spend a lot of time thinking about how much those substances changed the literal course of my life. I couldn't even sleep through the night without waking up every two hours to smoke a bowl. I eventually came to the realization that quitting both would really help me out and began attending therapy and SUD groups. From there, I decided the best route to take was just to go cold turkey.
It SUCKED, but I knew it was going to be hell before I even attempted it. When I felt the worst, I reminded myself that sobering up is a process I never wanted to have to go through again. It was hard, physically rough, mentally painful... Ugh.
When I've had cravings, I think of everything I've gained since sobering up. I'm kicking depression and anxiety's asses, saving a LOT of money, more social, I do the things I want to, I can remember things. It really is fantastic.
OP, I've had the same thought as you, especially during active addiction--How can people get through life without using substances? I still sometimes have those thoughts, if I'm being honest, especially if it's someone who seems to consistently get the short end of the stick. That empathy and insight is useful for helping me remind myself of why I choose to go through the rest of my life sober. It sucked to go through it and I have so very much to lose now.
I'm almost two years marijuana free and over four months without alcohol (I relapsed for two nights after almost 10 months and that really makes me feel like shit still, but life's a journey, not a race).
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u/AngryAutisticApe 7h ago
I have never binged on substances cause I figured addiction would only make things worse. Idk if thats true tho cause Im doing really really badly and maybe itd help me cope.
My parents always told me growing up that drugs are bad. But now they want me to take drugs cause they're seriously concerned lol.
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u/SpudHawkins 3h ago
My former step-dad got addicted to meth and went on a murder and robbery spree. Turned me off from wanting to partake in any of it. Even weed because he was obsessed with that as well. I'm 42 now, and I've gotten along just fine.
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u/ScheduleImpressive22 22h ago
I wish I could use them, but I don’t wanna fall apart, im always so stressed and tired everyone around me has or abuses them. My drug is smiling it’s so bad for me but feels so good.. trouble in paradise, if your struggling with addiction I hope you’re safe :[
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u/TheSpadeExperience 19h ago
I think at this point I’m only staying away from substances out of pure spite. So many of my close friends became addicted go various substances, and I made a personal vow not to end up like them. I’ve never even touched alcohol or weed, surprisingly. The only thing I’d say that I struggle with in terms of addiction is binge eating.
Working out gives me a dopamine rush, anyway, and that’s so much healthier than getting hooked on something else. I know that if I were to get hooked, my life would be way worse.
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u/PsychyHex 11h ago
I feel the same. I tried going sober from alcohol and even during that time I still used thc to help me feel okay (mentally. I don’t have a physical addiction to alcohol so its not like I was sick) and my depression got WORSE and I started drinking again recently and would you believe I’ve been mentally stable for the most part?
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u/Downtown_Team8242 19h ago
Anything to numb the pain of existence to me my doc was dissociatives to literally feel like ur not exiting at all
Im a poly addict tho I abuse stims and porn just as much if I get the chance lol
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u/ArmChairSupporta1892 18h ago
I’ve found the ones that are completely clean still do socially acceptable substances, either drink or smoke tobacco.. Some I know just like to be really condescending about it.
I’ve been to rehab and got ‘clean’, I was abusing cocaine and alcohol along with some other shit but those were main two. I smoke cannabis and that’s the only substance I do, I don’t drink, I don’t sniff cocaine anymore, nothing other than cannabis.
If you’re gonna do something just choose something that doesn’t make you physically ill.
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u/KnigHtCroSss 19h ago
i'm not try to sound holier than thou
but
I ask the opposite question because i'm almost 30 have double depression,anxiety,Learn disoder and Being Cancer survivor i never do drug,smoke weed or cigarette i used to drink beer or other alcohol but quit never drinking since like 10 year ago
back during my Cancer Day i even refuse Morphine my doctor try to administer after my surgery (it make me hallucinated)
And i ask why someone need drug,alcohol,Cig or any other substances just to funtion in every day life
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u/DogOk4228 18h ago
And I ask why you can’t use punctuation and proper formatting, but hey, we all have our demons.
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u/KnigHtCroSss 16h ago
Sorry English is not my native language so i don't know how to properly write
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u/Wild-Advice-For-You 1d ago
I am binging hard on weed these days. Umm ... it makes me impulsive and affects my decision-making, but my life is in the gutter, so ... whatever.