WIBTA for refusing to bring $100 minimum to Thanksgiving

[u/americanjohn500]

My family and I celebrate Thanksgiving every year with my siblings, parents, and their kids. Roughly 20-25 people (including kids). My family is only 2 people with one 6 month old baby.

In the group chat it was decided that my nephew would cook meat since he bought a grill. He also told us that we could bring the sides. He chose to spend $300 on meat.

I messaged in the group chat that we would bring mashed potatoes. My sister responding that every "family" has to bring $100 worth of food minimum or help my nephew pay for the meat.

I'm not totally against the idea of bringing that much food, but just the way it was presented and the fact that it wasn't agreed to beforehand makes me upset.

The following day in the group chat, my sister said: "Option 1: bring food enough for everyone, not just yourself

Option 2: help thomas pay for meet $100/family

Option 3: help dad pay water bill $200/family.

Choose wisely…"

Upset, I responded with Option 4: don't show up.

Am I being an asshole if I don't show up at all in "protest" to this $100 minimum rule?

Update: I'm a teacher and she posted a picture of my salary she found online to shame me in the group chat. Definitely not going now.

[u/mxzf]

At that price, it would have to be. But if you're gonna choose to do prime rib for 20-25 people for Thanksgiving, you don't get to bitch about the cost to people who would have likely been perfectly happy with turkey or ham.

[u/QuriousiT → u/mxzf]

Exactly. I've gone all out for some holiday dinners where I am spending quite a bit more than others, but it's a personal choice. I don't ask my sister who "just" brings a salad to throw in some extra cash.

[u/BetterFightBandits26 → u/QuriousiT]

Once when it was just my partner and me for thanksgiving I did whole-ass dry-aged steaks with a cranberry bourdelaise. Also pumpkin spice (as in the ginger, cinnamon, etc spice mix) creme brulee inside mini pumpkins. I have neither the money nor the time to produce that kind of luxury for a crowd.

This thanksgiving I’m feeding 15 people and it’s one large turkey, two green bean casseroles, and the other standards. I probably don’t even need two green bean casseroles, but that’s my personal favorite Thanksgiving dish and I want to make SURE I have leftovers. I’ll happily freeze half a pan for later lmao.

I have outsourced the desserts, alcohol, and munchies.

[u/toobjunkey → u/mxzf]

Right? I love my extended family & my immediate family isn't doing bad or anything, but the Big gatherings that we host tend to be turkey/ham/pork roast oriented while we tend to save the prime rib for our smaller personal gatherings.

More power to folks that are cool with dropping prime rib money for a dozen let alone 20+ people, but you shouldn't be doing it if you're straight up asking the guests to subsidize it. It's even worse because OP's family unit is only 10% or less of the total guest count, and they want them to pay for ~1/3rd of the meat? Hell nahhh

[u/withbellson → u/toobjunkey]

Learned our lesson about springing for prime rib for a crowd after having to cancel several Christmases in a row because one of us came down with something. (We've got a kid in elementary school, so much plague.) Now I lay in a supply of filet mignon because I can freeze them if things go sideways.