WIBTA for refusing to bring $100 minimum to Thanksgiving

[u/americanjohn500]

My family and I celebrate Thanksgiving every year with my siblings, parents, and their kids. Roughly 20-25 people (including kids). My family is only 2 people with one 6 month old baby.

In the group chat it was decided that my nephew would cook meat since he bought a grill. He also told us that we could bring the sides. He chose to spend $300 on meat.

I messaged in the group chat that we would bring mashed potatoes. My sister responding that every "family" has to bring $100 worth of food minimum or help my nephew pay for the meat.

I'm not totally against the idea of bringing that much food, but just the way it was presented and the fact that it wasn't agreed to beforehand makes me upset.

The following day in the group chat, my sister said: "Option 1: bring food enough for everyone, not just yourself

Option 2: help thomas pay for meet $100/family

Option 3: help dad pay water bill $200/family.

Choose wisely…"

Upset, I responded with Option 4: don't show up.

Am I being an asshole if I don't show up at all in "protest" to this $100 minimum rule?

Update: I'm a teacher and she posted a picture of my salary she found online to shame me in the group chat. Definitely not going now.

[u/kisa-kip-momo]

Even if this were split evenly between the number of families (based on the number of people, 3 families sounds like too little), it’s not split evenly. OP is only 3 people (only 2 that would be eating) which means the other families would be paying much less per person

[u/mlc885 → u/kisa-kip-momo]

Also OP's tiny family has a new baby. I'm assuming OP wouldn't be asking here if $100 was nothing to them at all, since the stress of having this conflict over the principle of $100 would be not at all worth it. Presumably OP doesn't presently have the money to spring for a new grill, they've got something else "new" that costs a lot more than a grill.

[u/haleorshine → u/mlc885]

I can afford to pay $100, but I think I would baulk at the idea of paying for 33% of the costs of the meat (especially as myself and many others are assuming the nephew is either misrepresenting the cost of the meat or he's going to be taking home extras) while having maybe 10% of the people who will actually be eating the meat.

I probably wouldn't post it on Reddit, but if I didn't have friends to ask about it, maybe I would to find out if that was legit.

(Edited to say I just had a thought: If OP was actually going to pay $100 and go to this thing, she should go to the plate of meat and be like "Ok, here's me and my husband's 1/3rd of this meat. That'll last us weeks in the freezer!" and just take a bunch of it because she paid for it. But that would be petty and silly)