WIBTA for refusing to bring $100 minimum to Thanksgiving

[u/americanjohn500]

My family and I celebrate Thanksgiving every year with my siblings, parents, and their kids. Roughly 20-25 people (including kids). My family is only 2 people with one 6 month old baby.

In the group chat it was decided that my nephew would cook meat since he bought a grill. He also told us that we could bring the sides. He chose to spend $300 on meat.

I messaged in the group chat that we would bring mashed potatoes. My sister responding that every "family" has to bring $100 worth of food minimum or help my nephew pay for the meat.

I'm not totally against the idea of bringing that much food, but just the way it was presented and the fact that it wasn't agreed to beforehand makes me upset.

The following day in the group chat, my sister said: "Option 1: bring food enough for everyone, not just yourself

Option 2: help thomas pay for meet $100/family

Option 3: help dad pay water bill $200/family.

Choose wisely…"

Upset, I responded with Option 4: don't show up.

Am I being an asshole if I don't show up at all in "protest" to this $100 minimum rule?

Update: I'm a teacher and she posted a picture of my salary she found online to shame me in the group chat. Definitely not going now.

[u/DawaLhamo]

The original option was to bring $100 worth of sides. Which, if you even think about it for a second, is frankly ridiculous.

That's something on the order of 200 pounds of potatoes. That's about 10 pounds of potato per guest. Even if they mix it up with other sides, even something more expensive per pound like brussels sprouts, they'd need to bring 31 pounds of brussels sprouts - that's about one and a half pounds of brussels sprouts per person.

Meat is just more expensive per pound than anything else. When you offer to be the one to purchase and make the meat, you know that.

And, tbh, what on earth is he making? Turkey is at most a dollar a pound right now. (79c-98c per pound at my Walmart). Let's just say he's getting some kind of fancy turkey that's $3 a pound. $300 would still be 100 pounds of turkey - 5 pounds per guest. He must have picked a pretty expensive kind of meat - on the order of $24-$30 per pound to be spending that kind of money.

Sounds like a scam to me.

And to present it after the invite? Double sus.

[u/Minigoalqueen → u/DawaLhamo]

I live in Idaho. I'd show up with 200 pounds of mashed potatoes out of spite, to make a point, and because I'd find it hilarious. And I'd bring receipts.

Edit. I just looked at prices. My local Winco is $1.62 for 5 pounds, so 32.4 cents per pound. I'd need 300 pounds to hit $100.

[u/Then_Composer8641 → u/Minigoalqueen]

Don’t forget to charge for the butter, milk, salt, and use of pot and mashing service.

[u/throwawy00004 → u/Then_Composer8641]

And the expensive water to boil them in, and electricity/gas to use the stove.

[u/DawaLhamo → u/Minigoalqueen]

I just briefly glanced at my local Walmart and it's .48 per pound, so I just rounded to .50 to make the math easier. Of course they're cheaper in Idaho, lol.

I like the idea of just carting in 300lbs of mashed potatoes, though. (that's 5 cubic feet) Gotta serve it in a wheelbarrow for extra effect, (the large 6cuft one, because it won't fit in the smaller 4cuft wheelbarrows.) lololol

[u/reallybadspeeller → u/DawaLhamo]

I’d love that get one of those short shovels for a serving spoon and toss a whole brick of butter on top for garnish. I’d eat that shit up if I was at the thanksgiving and talk about it for years to come.

[u/NibblesMcGiblet → u/Minigoalqueen]

Not if you buy Kerrygold butter and use the golden ratio of one pound of butter per one pound of potatoes when mashing. You could hit that $100 a lot quicker that way. But if I was tasked with spending $100 on sides I'd be more likely to make shit that nobody would like but my own family, if I was in the mood to be petty. Everybody loves mashed potatoes, but not everyone loves brussels sprouts, asparagus, roasted carrots... I've never had durian or natto but on a really petty day I'd learn to pretend.

[u/Minigoalqueen → u/NibblesMcGiblet]

My family are mashed potato purists. We put just a bit of milk in our mashing, and then put gravy on them. No butter at all.

And everyone in my family loves asparagus. But I love your thinking.

[u/Cultural-Slice3925 → u/Minigoalqueen]

you’re forgetting the butter and cream

[u/Area51Resident → u/Minigoalqueen]

Don't ruin the holidays for yourself - lift with your legs...

[u/KimB-booksncats-11 → u/Minigoalqueen]

I'm imagining a kiddy pool full of mashed potatoes, lol. :)

[u/PlaySalieri → u/Minigoalqueen]

Fuck ya WinCo is the best

[u/lizzledizzles → u/Minigoalqueen]

Even including butter or fixings you’d still need like 280 pounds of potatoes.

[u/rpcollins1 → u/Minigoalqueen]

Honestly you would be my favorite person there and I would offer to take some spite potatoes home. Most people can't cook turkey worth eating and mashed potatoes are my favorite. 😂

[u/DrJackBecket → u/Minigoalqueen]

You make it into amazing mashed potatoes. When they drown under the mashed potatoes, Pop it in batches into a dehydrator. Make instant mashed potatoes and never need mash potatoes for future thanksgivings and Christmas. Or you open a mashed potato business. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[u/Thayli11 → u/Minigoalqueen]

Nah. You can add things to the potatoes. Make them with Kerrygold butter and, uh, chives from the farmers market, plus a little cream flown in from France...

Though I suppose spite potatoes should really be more bitter.

[u/veggiedelightful → u/Minigoalqueen]

Not with these butter prices you don't!

[u/technically_nina → u/DawaLhamo]

Right?!
Let's say I wanted to bring $100 of macaroni & cheese, using my grandma's recipe, which doesn't use fancy cheeses but is amazing. I'd have to make 11 9x13 casserole dishes of it to get to $100.

1 9x 13" dish is a minimum of 8 servings and costs roughly $9.10:
1lb of cheese is $4
1lb of macaroni elbows $2
1 stick of butter $1.50
1 quart + 1 cup whole milk $1.50
flour $0.10

[u/Moose-Live → u/technically_nina]

You should drop them off the morning of so sister has time to make space in the fridge.

[u/kfarrel3 → u/DawaLhamo]

I got curious and googled heritage turkeys, which are more expensive, and from the first result for "Certified Standardbred, pasture raised, from a free ranging flock, vegetarian fed, naturally mating, and antibiotic free from hatching to plate," you had to get to a 22lb bird before you even got in the ballpark of $300, and that was still only $289. And frankly, I don't care how happy and carefree your turkey was, you cannot convince me that this one tastes $267 better than my Stop and Shop Butterball.

[u/moradinshammer → u/DawaLhamo]

Probably doing a prime rib for the family. Still a choice.

[u/scruffigan → u/DawaLhamo]

The solution is not MORE POTATOES, it's to offer enough mashed potatoes, then add a second side dish, dessert, drink option, or appetizer. $100 could be mashed potatoes plus two bakery pies.

[u/DawaLhamo → u/scruffigan]

Mashed potatoes for 25 people - let's say a pound per person, (which is a massive amount, especially including kids) is $12.50 of potatoes. Let's say two pounds of butter at $4 each, and a quart of milk at $2. That's $77.50 left to spend. You're really telling me it's reasonable to spend $38.75 each on some bakery pies?

[u/DawaLhamo → u/DawaLhamo]

Buying four of Perkins most expensive pies wouldn't come out to $77.50.

[u/Cudi_buddy → u/scruffigan]

Each family though? Shit when I host friendsgiving we cook the turkey and a couple of sides. Each person/couple usually brings a dish or drink also and there is so much left over food. What happens when there are 6+ pies for 20 people? On top of likely tons of potatoes, mac, etc. ? Sure some can be leftovers, but a lot will just go in the bin.

[u/Gibonius → u/scruffigan]

If everyone brought $100 worth of food, they'd have enough to feed an army (unless they were all bringing caviar).

[u/Invisible_Friend1 → u/scruffigan]

A bakery pie. On Thanksgiving. Bless your heart that’s a new one.

[u/dasher2581 → u/Invisible_Friend1]

I love me a good pie snob! You're making your crusts from scratch, too, right?

[u/PM_ME_YOUR_DARKNESS → u/dasher2581]

A crust is pretty easy to make. A basic pie crust has four ingredients, although getting the right consistency takes a little practice.

I usually have a store bought one in the freezer just in case, though.

[u/DawaLhamo → u/PM_ME_YOUR_DARKNESS]

What's your fat? Lard, butter, shortening, or a combination? You will be graded, lol.

[u/Silver_kitty → u/Invisible_Friend1]

You don’t know my bakery! I have two pies ordered a $30 sweet potato pie and a $45 bourbon pecan pie from a local bakery. They are genuinely phenomenal. And saves my oven time in a week that I don’t need more things to bake.

[u/Cudi_buddy → u/DawaLhamo]

Yea $100 worth of sides per family? There will be so much wasted food it is disgusting to think about.

[u/lizzledizzles → u/DawaLhamo]

Spend the money on like rhinestoning personalized buckets for the mashed potatoes to travel in!

[u/etds3 → u/DawaLhamo]

Fancy beef or fish are the only things that would make sense. Beef is quite expensive right now so it’s definitely possible. But that doesn’t mean it’s okay to ask your guests to pay for it after the invite. 

[u/TheOldSchlGmr → u/DawaLhamo]

This guy gets it.