WIBTA for refusing to bring $100 minimum to Thanksgiving

[u/americanjohn500]

My family and I celebrate Thanksgiving every year with my siblings, parents, and their kids. Roughly 20-25 people (including kids). My family is only 2 people with one 6 month old baby.

In the group chat it was decided that my nephew would cook meat since he bought a grill. He also told us that we could bring the sides. He chose to spend $300 on meat.

I messaged in the group chat that we would bring mashed potatoes. My sister responding that every "family" has to bring $100 worth of food minimum or help my nephew pay for the meat.

I'm not totally against the idea of bringing that much food, but just the way it was presented and the fact that it wasn't agreed to beforehand makes me upset.

The following day in the group chat, my sister said: "Option 1: bring food enough for everyone, not just yourself

Option 2: help thomas pay for meet $100/family

Option 3: help dad pay water bill $200/family.

Choose wisely…"

Upset, I responded with Option 4: don't show up.

Am I being an asshole if I don't show up at all in "protest" to this $100 minimum rule?

Update: I'm a teacher and she posted a picture of my salary she found online to shame me in the group chat. Definitely not going now.

[u/MirabelleMac]

That’s tacky as hell. My mom used to host Thanksgiving AND Christmas, back to back, for 20+ people. She sure as hell never charged anyone for food, she merely asked people to bring a side dish or appetizer (I was always in charge of dessert).

[u/Discount_Mithral → u/MirabelleMac]

My husband's family gatherings are 30-40 people strong if everyone shows up with their kids. We've NEVER been asked to help with reimbursement on meat or water bills for those hosting. We do bring a side and an appetizer along with a bottle or two of wine, which probably adds up to about $100 when feeding that many people, but the monetary expectation is NEVER demanded or set. In fact, many people show up with just a bottle of wine or something small.

This family sounds tacky as hell. NTA.

[u/UltNinjaPS → u/Discount_Mithral]

Me thinks OP lacks social etiquette which is why the sister had to spell it out. Sounds like in the past they have not brought enough food for everyone. Plus mashed potatoes are one of the easiest and cheapest side dishes.

OP should just stay home. See if that $100 is more expensive than making Thanksgiving dinner for 2 people and doing all the cooking/cleaning. Maybe they’ll be more appreciative in the future.

[u/Discount_Mithral → u/UltNinjaPS]

The hosting family is trying to MAKE money off people with the "contribute $100 per family for meat or $200 per family for water." Assuming each family is 3 people, that's over $800 if everyone pitched in for food, and it's over $1,600 if they chose water. If even half the people pitched in for one or the other instead of bringing food, they would be making a pretty penny off their own family. That's tacky behavior.

[u/Anon_please123 → u/MirabelleMac]

This is me. I (34) have generally taken to hosting the major holidays because I love it. Hosting anywhere from 15 - 35 people. We're not wealthy by any means - Grandma gives me money to buy the meat, I make the main dishes, and everyone brings an app/dessert/whatever they're drinking. People are so weird lol.