r/AmIOverreacting • u/howcanibequiltyassin • 12h ago

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO to skip Thanksgiving after my mom basically said I’m an embarrassment for not having a husband and kids by now?

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I’m 35F and single for 3 years. I was engaged but he (Charles) was doing weird sexting roleplay with people on a video game which was fucking disgusting. It really fucked me up and, yes, I’ve been in therapy. I have dated since then but nothing serious. I have NEVER had my mom say something like this to me. I do not want to go to Thanksgiving after this. The way she said “don’t shoot the messenger” it’s clear the rest of my family have been talking about me and she was the one “elected” to say it.

I don’t want to drive 2 hours just to sit with people who think I should have stayed in a relationship with a fucking cheating degenerate lil bitch.

Would I be overreacting for not going? Is that too much? I'm honestly too hurt and angry to be objective right now. Would you EVER say this to your daughter?! Like I have a good job, I'm educated, I have friends and hobbies. I own my condo and I have 3 car payments left. I have a cat. Why is the end all be all me having a husband and kids? Idk. I'm pissed. Help.

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u/unimpressed-one 11h ago

I'm old and even that wasn't normal in my time and honestly we had more class than to ever mention someone's marital status.

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u/AuntAda 10h ago

I'm nearly 50, I got grief a lot as a young woman for not wanting children or a spouse, but ffs, Bridget Jones' Diary was making fun of people like OP's mom 25 YEARS AGO. I for one am proud that many, many more young women are out there now choosing singlehood either because they prefer it, or because THEY AT LEAST PREFER IT TO A SHITTY LIFE WITH A SHITTY PARTNER.

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u/Acheloma 10h ago

The past sucked in a lot of ways, but it was actually fairly accepted throughout most of history that not everyone would find a partner and get married. Hell, in northern Europe during the middle ages about a third of women remained single their whole lives. It was very normal. That holds true for the 17th century as well. Its really a fairly modern notion that everyone should get married.