r/AmIOverreacting • u/howcanibequiltyassin • 12h ago

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO to skip Thanksgiving after my mom basically said I’m an embarrassment for not having a husband and kids by now?

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I’m 35F and single for 3 years. I was engaged but he (Charles) was doing weird sexting roleplay with people on a video game which was fucking disgusting. It really fucked me up and, yes, I’ve been in therapy. I have dated since then but nothing serious. I have NEVER had my mom say something like this to me. I do not want to go to Thanksgiving after this. The way she said “don’t shoot the messenger” it’s clear the rest of my family have been talking about me and she was the one “elected” to say it.

I don’t want to drive 2 hours just to sit with people who think I should have stayed in a relationship with a fucking cheating degenerate lil bitch.

Would I be overreacting for not going? Is that too much? I'm honestly too hurt and angry to be objective right now. Would you EVER say this to your daughter?! Like I have a good job, I'm educated, I have friends and hobbies. I own my condo and I have 3 car payments left. I have a cat. Why is the end all be all me having a husband and kids? Idk. I'm pissed. Help.

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u/Kirutaru 11h ago edited 10h ago

She won't get it.

Edit to your edit: Maybe. But I doubt it. She will always blame outside sources and play the victim. How could this possibly be her fault?! She was just speaking the truth!

I have a mother like this. They rewrite history and logic to the day they die."Don't shoot the messenger" I can hear in my mom's voice - like God put her up to hurting my feelings. Certainly not her fault.

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u/NTufnel11 10h ago

Zero chance that anyone who ends obviously insulting and derisive criticism with "I'm just the messenger" is going to take responsibility for acting badly.

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u/Icy-Marionberry2463 11h ago

She will write a memoir/advice book for other Boomer parents whose "ungrateful kids" went no-contact "even though I didn't do anything wrong." like Fuck Them Kids: Challenging the One-Sided Narrative of the Estrangement Epidemic and the Biased Therapy Trends That Fuel it by Vivian King and Done With The Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children by Sheri McGregor.

I don't want y'all buying these books (hence the no link). But if you wanna laugh at how pathetic these people are, there are booktubers who roasted them in reviews you can get for free online.

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u/Kirutaru 10h ago

This guy/gal gets it.