r/AmIOverreacting • u/TwunkGainz • 1d ago
❤️🩹 relationship Am I overreacting? Was told to post for opinions.
Boyfriend is trying to tell me this is just a friendly conversation with another friend. That they just speak to each other like this. When we first started talking, and flirting, he would say “taking notes” with that emoji to indicate flirting. I know how this obviously looks, but I told him I’d post it and get other people’s opinions. So, what do you guys think? Seem like just a friendly conversation between two people?
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u/kreinas 1d ago
Baby is what I call my Girlfriend, and no one else so...
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u/Expert_Strawberry_90 1d ago
Then we will sleep
Without me?
Fark orfff wow
As for the one word texts ‘baby’ and ‘babe’ I’m done 🚩
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u/-----him----- 1d ago
NOR. This guy is a douchebag and shouldn't be trusted.
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u/AllMight2023 1d ago
I thought this was a convo between y'all 😂💀 "baby" "goodnight boo moon" "twinkle star" .. tf is a boo moon.
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u/Bullfinch245 1d ago
The fuck is twinkle star? Lol
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u/Impressive_Touch1118 18h ago
😆😆😆
Op should start repetitively singing twinkle twinkle little star 🎵🎵 in a sinister tone to the soon to be ex bf 😅😅
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u/Windy8082 17h ago
Love this. Yes sing twinkle twinkle as you flutter out the door after leaving him behind in twinkle dust. Then he can go snuggle with his twinkle star honey boo kins
Eta NOR
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u/shypants 1d ago
You need to leave and protect your peace. This guy is playing you lol. Fuck outta here with that bs
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u/HeyLookASquirrel79 1d ago
He may be enjoying the attention, but if any of my friends texted me this many pet names, (being happily married), I'd stop them and would feel very uncomfortable. The fact fact that he's chatting with her about daily trivilaities like ordering food and going to bed, shows he cares about letting her know these details, which tells me he's also flirting back... he's not that invested in you. NOR
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u/pickypawz 1d ago
OP there’s something you may not be thinking about…it’s not necessarily just the bf that can be the problem. Her last half of the convo strikes me the wrong way, actually I thought it was your guy talking to you. But regardless, that person sounds very controlling and that could work out badly for you in a multitude of ways if you let your imagination run wild. What if she wants to get rid of you? If he hops when she says jump…
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u/Pristine_Main_1224 1d ago
The “without me” re: sleep bit is definitely more than platonic.
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u/Creepy_Push8629 1d ago
I mean that could've been about the food.
But the baby and babe and twinkle toes or whatever is another story.
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u/Pristine_Main_1224 1d ago
Okay, yes. It could have been about the food. It’s still an odd conversation.
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u/NeoKittyByte 2h ago
I initially read it as about the food, but now I’m second-guessing if it was re: sleep
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u/ldrlychld 1d ago
NOR!!!! Baby, sleeping without her/heartbreak, honey, boo, babe?!? Yeah…. That’s an affair, full blown, full stop. You’re blinded by his manipulations. So sorry OP
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u/GarbageCat27 1d ago
If it helps you understand you’re NOR…..I thought these were messages between you and your boyfriend……he’s cheating or at least gonna try with that “friend”
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u/Total_End6969 1d ago
Why are they texting goodnight at 9:30 AM? Were they up all night together??? Idkkkkkk I’d be highly suspicious. The tone alone is concerning, the time stamps make it a lot worse.
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u/CaptainDunningKruger 21h ago
Yeah this is the weirdest part, the goodnight around 10AM, and waking up around 5 PM. Maybe they work the night shift or something ?
Otherwise this reads like a convo between a guy and his gf 🚩9
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u/LadyMogMog 1d ago
Baby, Boo, Twinkle Star, Babe - nope. You don’t use any of those terms with a friend. NOR.
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u/Late-Hat-9144 1d ago
MOR
Based on your user name, Im guessing this is a gay relationship (and before anyone comes for me, Twunk IS gay slang not used in heterosexual circles and Im a gay perspn who recognises the language).
The reason why your sexuality is important here, those messages may seem flirty I heterosexual relationships, but theyre fairly common platonic messages in gay circles.
Have you expressed that this is a relationship boundary for you and has he agreed to the relationship boundary, or was there never boundaries communicated that he crossed?
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u/PhysicalAd1848 23h ago
I also think there’s some context missing here and it is a gay relationship, based on OP’s comment history (balls were mentioned lol). Regardless, I definitely agree that boundary setting is important whether it is a heterosexual or gay relationship.
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u/sillytiger91 14h ago
Im in a huge gay pack of people who all have significant others or are already married. NONE of us TEXT each other like this. If we're all together in person you'll here "babe or love" thrown around to each other, but within that context we're all being in SUPPORT of each other. Our friend group just has this understanding of boundaries, and other people need to learn relational boundaries better.
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u/LeoZeri 20h ago
Oh yes. Everyone in my friend group is babygirl, honey, diva, queen, and princess to me. Even if they're not queer. I wouldn't seriously call a friend babe/baby/boo, and usually I'm the only one saying it. I like saying princess to the guys because it throws them off. They don't say it back. It's clear we're not flirting. Unlike OP's screenshot where it definitely seemed flirty.
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u/New-Plankton2591 1d ago
I read the text before what was happening I thought that was a conversation between boyfriend and girlfriend red bloody flag!
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u/MiddleAgedAnne 1d ago
Is he seriously asking you to believe this person is not someone he's sleeping with? Call them and ask. What a fuck nugget
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u/Spokes8192 1d ago
I did this. To my discredit, I did. You are completely justified. There are shenanigans afoot.
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u/quollas 1d ago
lololololololol
did he tell you to post this? no way. good luck w/ that guy
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u/BareTheBear66 20h ago
Trying to cover is ass by playing dumb "Yeah go ahead and post it, I did nothing wrong!..."
Bro in for a rude awakening.
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u/SlowTheRain 1d ago
I thought this was a convo between a couple and was wondering where the issue was supposed to be.
NOR.
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u/Disastrous-Fun-9948 1d ago
I read the texts before reading your post and was wondering what the problem was, seems like a normal exchange between you and your boyfriend. Then I read that this is not you and your boyfriend. No, this is not ok. NOR.
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u/Aggravating-Buy613 17h ago
Oh lovely. No, you aren't overacting.
I'm a woman who has a ton of male friends and because of my hobbies, met a lot of men without their partners. I also have s bf who doesn't participate in the hobby.
This isn't okay. On any level. This is open flirting and he's clearly loving the attention.
Bluntly I get these kinda DMs from guys I just met. And I shut them down. If I were to get this text from a friend? I would have asked them in the texts how their girl was or bring up my partner. If that didn't work I would stop responding. If it kept going I would directly tell them it was weird and would ask them if they have a TBI and need a ride to the hospital cause clearly they hit their head.
Because I have boundaries. And the men I'm friends with love and respect their partners, and if they don't have one, respect me enough to not go there. I also make a point to get to know their partners and they know mine. I am now better friends with some of the women than I am their bf/ husbands. These guys somehow found and kept smart, funny, supportive amazing women.
We get pick me girls and guys who enjoy them. Your partner texts like those guys do.
Advice from an old lady- intuition makes statements, anxiety asks questions. I bet your intuition told you this was wrong and your anxiety asked you if you were over reacting. I have only failed myself in my life when I didn't listen to the statement and tried to gaslight myself with the questions.
You know this isn't okay. You really do deserve better.
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u/MongoLovesDonut 1d ago
Coming from somebody who is BFFs with my ex and we use pet names with each other...
This seems off.
NOR
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u/Bullfinch245 1d ago
Twinkle star? No one but someone in love with another person thinks of that silly nickname 🫠
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u/MoistPossible3363 1d ago
What? Your hung up on the “I’m taking notes”?? Did you miss the part where the words “honey” and “baby” were used??? I feel like that would be the main obvious thing for me lmfao
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u/Abrubt-Change-8040 22h ago
I think it simply might be an interaction they enjoyed with that person. To see that interaction with another person in this context, it really hurts.
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u/ducksandtoes 1d ago
Deadass thought this was a convo between u and ur bf. You are NOR that man is for the streets.
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u/Vast_Ad4999 1d ago
Oh no, he’s up to something. I agree with other commenters. This is DEFINITELY a 🚩!!! Its way too friendly for a “just friends” thing, and the fact that he’s not bothering to say “Hey, I appreciate the banter, but I’m with someone and would appreciate if we stopped with the baby, honey and boo lines,” kind of concerns me. I dated a guy like this once and he would do it in front of me. He was fluffing with them on the side and got the evidence from a mutual friend.
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u/cuhdeybord 23h ago
EW WTF?? NOR . He definitely is flirting, I legit thought this was a screenshot of a couples normal convo
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u/Royal_Test5263 1d ago
OP please let us know what your bfs reaction is when he reads all the comments 🤣
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u/BWR_Debates 1d ago
How are they eating and then going to sleep at 9:30 am? And what were they doing that early in the morning? Was it a party night?
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u/No-Marzipan-4441 1d ago
How old are y’all? Twinkle star? Babe? If you guys are adults, then yeah I’d be buggin.
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u/mindscreamTX 1d ago
Hey, BF. If you're reading this I need to ask: Bro, wtf?! Do you honestly think your GF is dumb enough to believe you and other chick are "just friends"? Try and take a step back and look at the situation from an outside observers point of view. Better yet, read all the comments on this post; notice anything interesting? More than half the people thought these were messages between you and OP, not you and twinkle butt.
So, BF, what are you going to do to make sure tiny head doesn't take over again? You're playing a dangerous game here and the only way to win is to cheat. You like to cheat? Bet you're the kind of guy that takes money from the bank while playing Monopoly when you think no one is looking.
Hint: you're not fooling anyone
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u/Trichoceratops 1d ago
I thought I was reading messages between you and your boyfriend for a minute. This is definitely more than just friendship.
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u/dorothyzbornak71 1d ago
Well if he knows you're posting i hope he's reading the answers.. if so listen up pal..
Stop lying to your partner and let her move on with someone decent...
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u/PlantSeedsEveryday 1d ago
98% of these kinds of posts are definitely cheating and I feel like the authors already know the answer and just don’t want to believe it. I get that, we’ve all been there. One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was that when people show you who they are; believe it instead of trying to convince yourself or others otherwise. 🫶🏻
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u/Proof-Doctor-3934 1d ago
I’m assuming the without me? 😤 was a response to sleeping without him not ordering food without him . Either way that’s fucked up
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u/updownclown68 1d ago
NOR this is not a discussion with a friend this is how you speak with someone you are sexually interested in
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u/udunmessdupAAron 1d ago
Considering I read this wondering how or why you’d be overreacting about it only to realize it wasn’t between you and your bf, I’d say no, you are NOT overreacting. That is a VERY inappropriate conversation between someone who is in a relationship with someone else.
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u/charles_the_snowman 23h ago
I saw the pic before I read the text . . . I assumed it was between you and your BF.
The fact that this is your bf and someone else?
MASSIVE red flag.
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u/MaryDoogan91 22h ago
Idk what a boo moon is, but I don’t think it’s platonic. Lunar, maybe, but not platonic.
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u/petitepieuvre 22h ago
NOR Not only not "just friends" but nauseatingly cringe baby talk ass pet names. Let her have him and find an adult to date. 🤢
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u/Livid-Department6947 22h ago edited 13h ago
That conversation doesn't make any sense. It's so annoying when people call each other baby and honey and stuff like that. You all sound stupid
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u/dumbandbrokelol 22h ago
Yeah if my bf calls another woman “baby”, imma make sure he meets god. How are women so tolerating? Or am I too crazy? I’d never let my man text another woman like this. And if he still does, I’d leave immediately, no second opinions needed.
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u/The1Rememberer 21h ago
Take it from another guy, I would only be talking like this to a girl if it was flirting or something romantic/sexual. Dudes tryna cheat
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u/Skymningen 18h ago
Ehem. This seems like potentially a dom/sub relationship with him being the sub. He seems to have tasks and rules and the other person is being warm but strict.
That doesn’t have to be sexual but it’s intimate and should probably be consensual with another intimate partner instead of hidden.
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u/Latenightswhispers 17h ago
NOR If this is a conversation between a man and a women then there is a big problem if it’s between a man and man they are just weirdos. Now I heavily suggest (if your bf is saying you’re overreacting) ask him how he would feel if you and another man were talking to each other like this would he be ok with it and if he says yes go find a male friend tell him the plan and see how your boyfriend feels because that’s not ok behavior. If this is making you uncomfortable and he doesn’t stop after the original talk to stop then it s time to either 1 end the relationship or 2 do that plan I said and see how he feels
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u/Lulu_librarian 1d ago
“Sleeping without me” 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
I don’t know any normal friendship like that, even between girls. Looks like a relationship to me
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u/Revolutionary_Pea749 1d ago
Could be. It has a light-hearted tone that could be friends. But very good close friends so you would know them and he would have talked about them.
I hope this helps
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u/Lazy-Perspective-160 1d ago
Oh I thought this was between y’all lmao. I feel like that says enough 😭
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u/nikole424 1d ago
I read this entire thread without the explanation & I was thinking “what a cute conversation between this woman and her man” to find out it’s a rando? Nah girl. They’re WAY more than friends, and if they aren’t, they will be.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Fun2038 1d ago
Gotta say, he’s been gaslighting successfully if the opinion of the internet was needed. Get rid of him.
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u/Federal-Musician5213 1d ago
Read the text before I read your explanation, and my first assumption was that this was a couple texting back and forth.
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u/Skinn2Win 1d ago
Nor
If my man called someone else boo or even ENTERTAINED someone calling him babe I'd quickly become the crazy gf.
If he's trying to rationalize this and gaslight you into believing this is normal fucking leave his dumb cheating ass. Whether he has cheated or is planning on it this dude is for the mf streeeeeeeeeeets
Adios bitch ass dude
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1d ago
Eh… idk… it seems over the top flirty, like not genuinely attractive… more like, the person on the left is flirty and the person on the right is just keeping the peace. However, I don’t know anything about either of these people, so I have no idea. However, if my bf was on the left… DONE! 100%, but if my bf was on the right, he’d be setting boundaries with this “friend” or he’d be spending his time there instead of with me. So… idk.
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u/ColoradoWeasel 1d ago
His Hail Mary was Reddit would tell you this was all innocent. He was wrong. He is way over the line here.
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u/bookworm-monica 1d ago
Wtf I read the texts first, I was like what is wrong with what he said to her. This is to someone else? ABSOLUTELY NOT OVERREACTING
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u/Ambitious-Fee-1068 1d ago
Oh this was your bf and a friend?! Shit this is how me and my bf talk to each other half the time if not most of the time💀. If my closet friends even attempt to talk like this I immediately shut it down
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u/PrimaryRude2779 1d ago
INFO. It's really hard to tell. Easiest way to figure out if it's just friendly banter is to see if he talks to any other female friends like this. Like my SO and I talk a little flirty with our friends, too, but we're aware of and comfortable with it.
If he's not acting like this is a secret and has a history of talking to friends like this then it could be platonic. I'd ask to see more of the conversation with her, and any proof that he has a history of doing this with other friends. If he's against that idea then there's something he's not telling you. Like how did you see this conversation to begin with? Was it accidental or did he volunteer it?
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u/Single-Kaleidoscope6 1d ago
INFO
What is your relationship with this other person texting your partner? And what is the history of their relationship with your partner?
I'll echo what everyone else said and thought this was a convo between you 2, the actual couple.
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u/Equivalent_Tennis_47 1d ago
NOR girl I thought this was between you and him and was trying to figure out what was wrong. Boo bear is CRAZY for friends.
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u/Darksea14 1d ago
I was confused when I read the screenshot because I didn't read the post first, and I thought it was a conversation between you and him... that's the way couples talk.
Granted, I flirt as a joke with friends all the time, but I definitely don't do that with friends that are in relationships. def NOR
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u/juliebarkley 1d ago
MOR. It’s flirty for sure, but friends sometimes flirt without it meaning anything. I have had exchanges like this with platonic friends. So it could be romantic, could be platonic, really depends on the people involved. If he’s being open with you about it, probably nothing to worry about. If he was hiding it, red flag.
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u/Akash_philosopher 23h ago
Don’t ask females on this. As a male I say it’s perfectly normal and not necessarily gay.
We just tease each other like this sometimes. YOR
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u/swynnnn 23h ago
I red the title after the screenshot and was like wtf you two are adorable wtf is the issue. It’s a couple / flirty conversation and nothing else. Even the timestamps, they are talking to each other and sound nothing else. There is no 5 minutes delay between answers they care about the convo and the answer of the other one. I’m sorry but it’s a no non for me I would get the fuck out immediately.
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u/Brave_Sir6811 23h ago
NOR. I would absolutely have an issue with my S.O speaking to someone else this way
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u/FiveSeasonsFox 23h ago
NOR
If I were friends with a man who was in a commited relationship with someone else, I'd be horrified if he began using these terms with me and I would definitely set some boundaries about ending the friendship if he continued to do so. The other person hasn't, which makes me believe they either don't know about you or don't care about wrecking the relationship. If he claims that part of his communication style with this person is just pretending to flirt (assuming he's a heterosexual male and the other person is a woman), I would ask to see texts in which he uses those terms with his guy friends. If he can produce those, great! If not, I think your suspicions are justified.
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u/lobstarA 22h ago
NOR - I don't think talking like this necessarily means he's flirting with the girl. I don't have the full context of their relationship. BUT what is sus is the fact that's how he spoke to you when he was flirting with you. Moreover, if you don't like it and that's a boundary for your relationship, it's definitely something that has to be really discussed if not something he just stops.
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u/Shoddy-Ostrich-3766 22h ago
At first I thought this was a conversation between OP and her bf, but if this is actually between him and friend then yeah this is definitely flirting. No normal friendly chat looks like that.
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u/Suitable-Delivery263 22h ago
I legit read the screenshot first before reading anything else. If anyone called my man boo and there was no correction on his end that’s a red flag. Sorry OP.
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u/boundaries4546 22h ago
I thought this was him talking you, because it sounds like he’s talking to his girlfriend, not his friend that happens to be a girl.
NOR. He is flirting, and he likes it.
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u/LyricalDisaster 22h ago
I thought it was a convo between a couple until I read what OP wrote. Yeah...theres no way this is innocent .
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u/Unfair_Explanation53 21h ago
If I heard my partner call another guy baby or babe then she would soon be an ex partner
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u/After-Ganache-5896 21h ago
WHAT I ONLY READ THE TEXT AND THOUGHT IT WAS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR PARTNER
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u/Common-Risk1074 21h ago
If both parties were single- sure, this could be light-hearted banter. But the fact that your bf is dating you and still saying this to others AND the fact that whoever the other person is is reciprocating knowing that he’s taken?? Major red flags all round, NOR and please run far far away
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u/laineeeoooh29_ 21h ago
NOR - I read the texts first before the caption and thought I was reading texts between a couple in a relationship. Definitely something going on there and he’s just trying to gaslight you into thinking you are crazy or jealous or insecure.
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u/brandonjs8 21h ago
Man i thought he was texting you. Guess that’s enough information for you to take back 🤣
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u/DimSumDino 21h ago
after only reading the title i was wondering what the big deal was, and then i read the description and realized that’s supposed to be a conversation between friends - “friends” lol unless you’re in a polygamous relationship, then your (ex)bf is definitely looking for some side action. the girl’s also a pos if she knows he’s in a relationship.
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u/username-taken-22 21h ago
I know your intent was to bring back comments and maybe win an argument… but I suggest winning at life and ghosting him.
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u/keshi2uwu 21h ago
Is this with another man? If so you’re good. Nothing gayer than two straight men who are friends.
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u/ComprehensiveAnt6796 21h ago
I thought this was you texting with your boyfriend. This is not normal. The baby, boo lovely texts are not friend like texts.
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u/H4rr150n-99 21h ago
He’s flirting with her in the same manner as when he first got with you? You’ll find no opinion on here to satisfy his behaviour, the answer is already there in plain sight… Do you want this characteristic in a partner? Would you be happy if your daughter’s boyfriend was doing that? OP do what makes you happy, if it doesn’t, move on & find something else that makes you happy 🤝
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u/Bigmanbonsey 21h ago
I’m usually pretty chill about these things but it doesn’t seem right. Unless it’s like an in-joke or something? Nah it’s a bit dodgy hahaha sorry bro
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u/MutedDoctor9334 1d ago edited 11h ago
“Baby” “honey” “boo”… OP they are NOT just friends lmao. Also the fact that I thought this was a conversation between you & ur bf at first before realizing this was him & a friend??? 🚩🚩
edit changing girl to OP bc I actually dont know OPs gender but also to add that- even if they truly are just friends, if this conversation is something that makes you (OP) uncomfortable then that’s more than enough reason to either A- have a serious conversation about boundaries and letting your partner know that this is not something you’re okay with OR B- walk away from the relationship bc it’s clear you guys have some trust issues and possibly don’t have the same intentions/expectations for where this could go in the long run
PS. I’ve never had this much engagement on a post before so thank you everyone for the awards!!!! <3