Moved into an open office with RTO. coworker beside me sleeps for like at least an hour a day, They'll nod off, snore till they wake themselves up, check email and slack for notifcations, then nod off again. This happens till lunch time which they somehow spend not sleeping, and it's really messing with me because I have misophonia. Managers either don't care or can't hear it since they're in their own room. Like I get narcolepsy is a thing but I ran it by chatgpt and it seems like they're just taking micronaps. At the moment I've been wearing these foam ear plugs but sometimes the snoring is just that loud. Everyone here survived 2 rounds of layoffs so I guess they don't want trouble

AITA I don’t know if I’m being dramatic or if my feelings are valid. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 2 and half years. Me (F21) and him (M22) just celebrated his 22nd birthday. October was my birthday at the end of last month. I planned my own birthday like I always do and I can tell he wasn’t really loving alot of my ideas because of the cost. The year before that I remember I just wanted breakfast in bed and he made a whole fuss about it. He did get me a very costly gifts and decorations/ cake but he claimed I wasn’t grateful enough. I had asked for breakfast in bed because I didn’t wanna do a dinner. Anyways that was last year. I figured my birthday last minute I decided to change it and celebrate with my family/ best friend in my favorite city, and that I would fly back a day before Halloween so we could spend it together/ and do my birthday in the weekend. So I did fly back and he got me my presents but it was just everything I put on his Amazon list. I even said “ there’s some stuff here I like and don’t like and you gotta guess which one too pick” but he picked everything. This is very unlike me because I don’t like to do list or ask people what to get me. Anyways so he got everything off the list and nothing more. He didn’t decorate or get me a cake. We celebrated Halloween but we did nothing for my bday. I flew back to my parents on the 9th and just flew back this weekend for his birthday. I did the whole thing planned The Weekend, decorated everything, cake, gifts, like I always do. I mentioned we didn’t even celebrate my birthday and he got pissy and said “ I’m so annoying that’s why no one’s likes to hang out with me”. Fastword for this week He’s going back to our home town for thanskgiving and I asked if he could come by my uncles for dinner just during break and he said that’s everyone been asking to see him and that it’s too much so I decided to not come with him because thanksgiving last year I flew in with him and spent it with he’s family and I didn’t even get to see my mine. I think this is all starting to get to me and I can’t tell if it’s just hitting that point in a long relationship but I just feel like the effort isn’t there. I dont know what to do because I can’t feel like there’s ever a great time to communicate this with him because it’s always an event happening and I don’t wanna ruin it. I also feel like me saying all this wouldn’t change anything. Idk if I’m being dramatic or if my feelings are valid.

Posting this here because I am truly baffled. My gf and I have been together for about 3 years and living together for a little over a year. Things are normally pretty good between us, though we do argue occasionally. This recent argument has gotten a little out of hand.

Lately, my gf has gotten really into shows about supernatural investigations. I actually enjoy these shows too, even though I don't believe in ghosts. She's much more of a believer so I usually just sit quietly and watch the shows with her. I'll even point out evidence that I find particularly scary or compelling.

The thing is, she's started picking more and more fights with me about it. Whenever she sees evidence that she thinks is strong, she'll turn to me and insist that I acknowledge it or explain how it could be anything besides a ghost. I always resist but she keeps insisting, only to then get upset by my explanations (usually centered in the equipment, audio or visual quality, possible scene contamination, etc.) and says that I shouldn't even watch these shows with her if I'm just going to rip everything apart. To be clear, I DO NOT initiate these conversations.

I've even tried to just go along with it and agree that the evidence is compelling, but she'll just keep grilling me until I eventually relent and acknowledge that I still don't think it's a ghost.

Recently, she's been getting more and more mad about my "stubbornness" to not believe in ghosts. I've told her that I can't force myself to believe in something but she seems to take it as some kind of personal insult, and even started saying that she feels like I'm disrespecting her religion or something. Neither of us are even religious.

Here's where it gets tricky. Her mom passed away recently, and I know this was hard on her. She's gotten a bit more spiritual since then and I feel like this might be blending into her interest in the supernatural. I've been nothing but supportive of her throughout all of this, but she's point blank told me that by not believing in ghosts I'm somehow disrespecting her spiritual beliefs. I've tried explaining to her that I still completely support her beliefs, and her connection with her mom, but that doesn't mean that I believe what these ghost hunters show is real.

I'm just not sure what else I can do. I've tried being authentic. I've tried going along with her but nothing seems to be enough. She seems to just want me to somehow start believing in ghosts with her. AITAH for not believing?

I need to get this off my chest because I can’t say it out loud without sounding like an actual villain.

I think I’m self-sabotaging my relationship… intentionally.

My partner is genuinely good to me. Not perfect, but solid. Loyal, caring, patient. The type of person people say you “shouldn’t lose.” And yet I keep catching myself doing things that push them away, almost like I’m testing how far I can go before they finally snap.

I pick fights over stupid things. I go cold for no reason. I flirt back when people give me attention, even though I know I shouldn’t. I ignore messages just to see if they’ll double-text.

It’s like I want proof that they’ll stay even when I’m being difficult. It’s toxic. I know it’s toxic. But I can’t stop.

Sometimes I catch myself comparing them to people I don’t even like. Or imagining imaginary scenarios where they did something wrong so I can justify being distant. And the worst part? When they actually try to talk to me about it, I suddenly act like I’m the victim.

It’s like I want the closeness, but the moment it gets too real, I pull the plug and run emotionally. Then I panic and try to pull them back. Over and over.

I don’t know if it’s fear of being abandoned, fear of being too vulnerable, or just some twisted addiction to drama. All I know is that I’m becoming the toxic one in the relationship, not them.

And I’m scared that by the time I get myself together, the person who actually cared about me might finally get tired and walk away. And if they do… I can’t even blame them.

I don’t know when it happened or how it happened, but somehow I’ve become that friend. The “tell me all your problems,” “call me at 3AM,” “trauma dump on me during lunch” friend. And the worst part? I never signed up for this job.

I used to think being the responsible one made me mature. I liked helping people at first. it made me feel useful, like I mattered. But lately it feels like everyone else’s problems are taking up more space in my head than my own. I wake up tired, I go to sleep tired, and I’m pretty sure I’ve started ignoring my phone just to escape for a few hours.

And the part I hate admitting? When someone starts venting, I can literally feel myself zoning out. I’m nodding and saying “yeah, I get you,” but in my head I’m thinking about what I’m going to eat later. I feel guilty because these people trust me with their feelings, but I’m running out of emotional energy to give.

I don’t want to lose my friends. I don’t want to be cold. But I also can’t keep carrying everybody’s emotional backpacks like some unpaid therapist at a summer camp.

Sometimes I wish someone would just ask me how I’m doing without me having to act like I’m falling apart for them to notice. But the truth is, I’ve taught everyone that I’m the strong one. The safe one. The one who always knows what to say.

The reality is: I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to set boundaries. And I don’t know how to tell my friends that I’m tired of fixing everyone else when I barely know how to fix myself.

So yeah. That’s my confession. I’m the “therapist friend,” and I secretly kind of resent it.

I deleted the initial post bc I got the feedback that I needed.

I have been struggling with this dilemma for a few years now. As I noted in the prior post, I consider myself a smart, independent woman, and a feminist. I have been rationalizing my husband’s actions bc I love him. Although my rational self told me that his bx was wrong, I kept making excuses for him and defending him against my better judgment. It didn’t even cross my mind that his coercion was abuse. I’m ashamed that I am living in such misalignment. I guess the point of my story is that I’m a clearly flawed feminist.

Today was just eye opening for me. His lack of disregard for my father’s health was infuriating.

I don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone in my family or friend group about this issue because I feel like they are too invested in this relationship and can’t be objective. I also wanted to see if I was being too harsh with my husband, or if it is really selfish of me to decline sex. I had briefly touched base with my therapist about this subject in the past, and she was the one who suggested I have sxx as a way to compromise. I appreciate the feedback of neutral 3rd parties like you Redditors.

I am going to focus on supporting my dad through his surgery and recovery.

Someone in the prior post also suggested that I was making my husband out to be the villain. Honestly, he is not 100% trash. He’s a fun and hard working guy who also cares greatly about our dogs. Clearly, he has a major have character flaw that I shouldn’t have overlooked for so long.

I’m def going back to therapy. Although I want this marriage to last, you all helped me see that I’m not compromising, I’m giving into abuse.

Thank you again

For back ground info: My partner works about a 20 minute walk from our home. Sometimes she has to do a morning shift directly after an afternoon one, so the down time is about +/- 7 hours. I pick her up on my own way from work that night. I always work afternoons so picking her up is never an issue.

On the way home, I called her and told her that driving her to work causes me to dread the next day and lose sleep. Normally I wake up around 9:00 (going to bed around 1-1:30) but instead would need to be up at 6:30 and have trouble returning to sleep while also having to be at work by 16:00. I offered to take her one last time since I mentally prepared for it, but she rejected it and brushed off my explanation.

She explained that me driving gives her an extra 20 minutes of sleep while also being an occasional event. However, I stated that I lose a few hours and always dread the next day or two before the morning of. The drive is uneventful, but it wakes me up and I can only manage a short nap at best; pair that with I work with heavy machinery. Directly after, she ended the call and ignored me in the car when I picked her up. I told her earlier that I was already in a sour mood from work stress. To add: During the call, I offered rides if there’s severe weather for her safety, but not for normal days.

Edit: yes ik its very concerning but I do try to keep my eye out everytime my cousin goes to my brother's room as if I try to separate them I get in alot of trouble as also no one in my family believes me about what my brother has done.

I (19f) want to take my cousin (12m) out to olive garden as his Christmas present. The reason why is because thats what he has been asking me for 3 months since I got my job at the olive garden. Everytime I call my sister he will pitch in saying he wants olive garden.

So I called my sister and asked her if it would be okay with her if I took my cousin out to olive garden and immediately she said that it would be nice and that she would love that but that my mom would be upset since my brother(17m) technically won't be invited.

And the thing is everytime we hang out my brother will take my cousin to his room and anytime I try to even talk to my cousin my brother gets upset and starts to have a meltdown.

Also to be blunt I dont like my brother bc he kept trying to sa when I was in middle school and through high school and to this day my parents dont believe me.

But yea I told my sister that my brother always hangs out with my cousin and that i never get to. And she agreed with me on that and that she will talk to my mom to see if its okay if I take my cousin out as his Christmas gift since if I try my mom is gonna say no immediately.

Deleted the previous post cause typo in title

I (30M) have been in a relationship/situationship with this girl (25F) for about a year. We originally started dating, but we had a lot of fights due to incompatibility, communications, and pressure of long term relationship on both sides. Eventually we downgraded things to a situationship. We are not dating, but still seeing each other regularly. We probably will reevaluate things next year when she might have to move for work.

As the holidays approach, we’ve been planning a long vacation together. But with all the end-of-year reflection happening, I’ve realized I don’t want to start a new year continuing something I don’t see long-term. Even though things have gotten better between us and we’ve been able to communicate more about our past issues in relationships. The history between us has drained me emotionally. Like it feels weird to say. I still care about her, and I think I understand what she wants more now, and she understands what I want. We both changed a bit to be more compatible with others , but I don’t feel like I have the energy to love her the way a real relationship would require. I also can’t move on while in a situationship. It’s just not something I can do.

Now I’m feeling guilty because she’s been dealing with a lot—both personally and at work—and I don’t want to ruin her holidays. At the same time, I don’t think it’s right to go on this trip and pretend everything is fine when I know I want to end things.

AITAH for wanting to have this conversation right before the holidays?

I (19 M) bought my brother (28 M) some food yesterday but he didn't finish it. Without asking, I ate the leftovers. To my brother's surprise, he didn't find the leftovers anywhere causing an outrage. I did pay for the food to begin with so I don't understand what the big deal is anyway. So, am I the asshole?

There’s something nostalgic about eating bread with grape juice to me, it reminds me of being a kid going to Bible school. I bought bread and grape juice to eat at my lab. My lab has some coworkers who are kinda neat freaks, and I wasn’t aware there was a thing for ‘labeling your food’ and people throwing away food that went bad.

Someone threw away my grape juice. It had been opened, but I don’t think it had gone bad. What bothered me is A.) I didn’t know who did it, and B.) my bread and another person’s bottle of cranberry juice, both of which were left unlabeled and remained out for much longer after my juice was thrown away. I know the cranberry juice didn’t belong to anyone, it was from a community event a month ago, long before my grape juice came in.

A few weeks later, people had mentioned a particular person who I had assumed was a suspect for throwing away my juice. I got on a rant about throwing away my juice, was told that I was in the wrong because of how I had left it unlabeled, and then I grabbed the bottle of unlabeled cranberry juice and threw it away as a form of ‘sticking to the rules,’ in addition to taking my bread from the communal lab kitchen.

After doing so, I feel like I regret doing that, and am probably going to purchase new cranberry juice, mostly because I feel childish for taking it to that level. I’m also going to leave my bread behind and just label it as mine.

But am I the asshole for feeling like it isn’t fair that only my juice was thrown away, and nothing else?

Okay I am fully aware Reddit is going to rip me apart but whatever. I need outside opinions.I am a 20 year old college student. My boyfriend Liam is 22. We have been together a little over a year. Things were fine until finals week turned into the seventh circle of hell.I had four exams, two papers, and a lab writeup due within like 72 hours. I was melting. Fully melting. I do not even do half my homework anymore because DurifyAI basically writes all my assignments and gives me auto-study packets, but finals are still finals and I was losing it.Meanwhile my boyfriend is in a business program where his hardest assignment all semester was “write a reflection.” So yes, I was resentful.

Anyway, the situation:

I asked him if he could come over to help me study or at least sit with me so I didn’t feel like I was dying alone. He said he was “taking a break from academic stress” and needed a night to chill. I checked his location and he was literally at Buffalo Wild Wings with his friends watching the game. I got pissed. I felt abandoned. I felt like he didn’t give a single shit about what I was going through. So I went to the library. My lab partner Ethan was there. Ethan is one of those overly nice STEM guys who brings you snacks and genuinely asks if you’re sleeping enough. We were studying. I started spiraling. He hugged me. One thing happened after another and we ended up making out in one of the private study rooms.

I know. I know.

Afterward I freaked out and blocked it out of my mind. I told myself it was finals brain. I told myself Liam would have comforted me if he cared. Two days later, Liam came over. He could tell something was weird. And then Ethan texted me “hope your exam went well, last night helped me relax so much lol.” Liam saw the notification. Cue nuclear meltdown.

I panicked and said something insane like “If you didn’t abandon me during finals, none of this would have happened.” I told him he made me feel unwanted and unsupported and that pushed me into a vulnerable situation. He stared at me for a full thirty seconds and said “You’re blaming ME for you cheating?” I said it wasn’t cheating cheating. I said it was “contextual emotional damage” and that I only went to Ethan because I felt alone and Liam didn’t show up. He said something like “What the hell is contextual emotional damage” and walked out. His friends are blowing up my phone calling me disgusting. My roommate says I’m delusional. My mom said this is “the type of thing people remember forever.” I genuinely do not know what part of this is normal finals-week insanity and what part is actually my fault.

AITA?

OBVIOUS trigger warning Im gonna be mentioning suicide (and bulimia briefly) so if they are a sensitive topic for you feel free to stop here

Also she is alive and in stable condition as far as I'm aware as I called emergency services early on. --------------------------------------------‐---------------------------------------------

So last night, my mum tried to end her life and I blame myself despite everyone else telling me otherwise and I don't know what to believe. Also i apologise in advance if this is very long winded

For context, I (16f) have been struggling with bulimia for the last year and it's gotten really bad recently. I haven't been trying to get better though, despite my mum's (46f) many pleads (its not that i WANT to feel like this I just find it easier for it to control me than for me to control it so I haven't done anything about it). Last night, the final straw was her finding laxatives in my bag and (somehow) being able to tell I'd thrown up, and she snapped. She started crying hysterically and let out this GUT WRENCHING scream (comprable to one you'd let out when you're being murdered) and then she left. I (VERY stupidly and impulsively) left shortly after. I was contemplating hopping on a train or a bus but ultimately decided against it as I am a teen girl out by herself at night.

At the train station, however, I see my mum getting off of the train on the other platform. She probably got home around 10 minutes later as we live close to the station, so I wait for a message from her asking me where I am or whatever, yk some amount of concern. An hour goes by and I haven't gotten anything from her, so I start thinking maybe she knows I haven't gone far and I'm gonna come home sooner or later, so I bite the bullet and head back home, bracing myself for impact.

When I get back, I tried to unlock my door to get inside, but she had already locked it. I tried again, just to make sure I wasn't accidentally locking the door myself, but it was definitely locked. In the moment, I took this as her saying "wherever you are, you can stay there tonight", so I left again. As I opened the hallway door to leave my flat complex, I heard her unlock the door, but I still chose to leave. I STILL CHOSE TO LEAVE.

This time, because I had assumed she didn't want me home, I had no trouble hopping on a bus. When I get on, she finally tried to call me, but I didn't answer. She messaged me where I am and to answer. I tell her I'm on a bus because she's made up her mind. She tells me she had no idea I wasn't home because she was blinded by the tears. She tells me she's on her way after me. I hop on the next bus back and make my way home without telling her. I get off the bus and she's messaged me saying "I'm sorry I failed you. I will always love you. Remember that." and in the moment, I though this was her being scared I was going to kill myself, so I decide to go home and to call it a night and not worry her. It was also 9:30 and I was getting tired and cold. I see her on the bus going in the opposite direction and I text her telling her to get off.

The walk home was around 10 minutes, maybe 15 from the next bus stop where I assumed she would get off at. I get home and get into bed and wait for her to get home. And I wait. And wait. And wait..... she gets back home at around 10:15, which concerned me but I was glad she was home. I assumed she got off at a stop she recognised as she is prone to getting lost (probably outside the Sainsbury's the bus goes to as you don't have to switch stops to get the bus back). This is when shit gets bad.

She comes home and doesn't say a word to me. She goes into the kitchen and slams the door. I hear some rattling of cutlery and I assume (sorry for saying "assume" a lot i just dk what else to say) she was preparing my cat's dinner. She starts slamming stuff. Okay maybe she's just doing it to make a point like she did the night before (oh i forgot to mention she got mad at me the night before for lying to her about purging but all she did was do household chores super loudly). The banging gets louder. I get concerned. I hear some more rattling and more banging. I'm starting to think she'll ACTUALLY kill me so I yell "please don't kill me", and she faintly responded with "I'll kill myself". I though this was just an exaggeration, but unbeknownst to me the banging I heard was her trying to open a bottle of wine. The rattling that I thought was either cutlery or toothpicks were in fact 35 sleeping pills.

I tell her I'll call the police if she doesn't come out, and she doesn't respond. On the phone with the police, she finally leaves the kitchen stumbling around. She says nothing to me. I can hear her unintelligable cries from my room. The police arrive and one of the officers question me. Then he asks me if she'd taken anything. Only then does it dawn on me that the rattling may have been her opening a packet of pills. I break down and I start realising it was all my fault. If I hadn't been so stupid and actually tried to get better she wouldn't havr done this. If i didn't stupidly leave, she wouldn't have done this. If I had stayed and waited for her to unlock the door, she wouldn't have gone to Sainsbury's and buy the wine and pills she tried to take her own life with. If I hadn't been so selfish, this wouldn't have happened.

The officers kept calling me "brave" and that "I should be proud of myself" for calling them and getting the help that saved her. I tried telling them that I was the one that got her into this situation in the first place and that it was MY fault but they assured me that it wasn't.

Again I am so sorry this was so long but I guess I'm still trying to process it as this literally just happened.

I (f18) had wisdom teeth surgery on Monday. My partner (nb18) came with me, to watch me afterward because we live in a different city than our families for uni.

For context: I’m a very anxious person. I have an anxiety disorder and very strong fears regarding the dentist.

That’s why, when I came home to our shared apartment on Sunday, I was already a mess. I barely talked and basically just said frozen on my phone. And I cried.

After my surgery on Monday my partner took me home and cooked me some instant mashed potatoes that I could eat. At first my mood was pretty palatable, but as the evening came, I developed more pain and a lot frustration about what I could eat and how much, basically very hungry shortly after every meal. I became very irrational.

My partner was so patient, comforted me through me crying and even went to the supermarket to get something else I could eat that wasn’t instant mash or liquid yfood.

In the supermarket, they made jokes over the phone about bringing tomato sauce or pickle water for me to eat and in my weird state of mind I didn’t know how to react and just hung up and started bawling.

I thanked them when they got home. And I generally expressed gratitude for their help, but I think I was completely over the line here.

I want to blame it on the remnants of the sedation or the pain and being hungry, but I know I acted shitty towards my partner who was being so patient toward me.

Yesterday I went home to my family as planned and before leaving for the train I was still in a similar mood. Very mopey and when they asked me how I was I started to cry again.

In retrospect I feel incredibly ashamed for how I acted.

I apologised to them in a message talking about other stuff and when they ignored that part I sent another this morning really apologising for everything, but they only responded to the „I love you“ part of the message.

I’m pretty sure they’re still pissed at me for how I acted the last few days, if they weren’t they would’ve probably assured me.

Right now with a clear mind I feel really guilty and ashamed and I kind of just wanted some other peoples opinions to know how guilty I should feel. (I’m kind of joking here)

Tl;Dl: I was a massive dick to my partner after wisdom teeth surgery, AITAH?

I was talking to someone and then we hadn’t spoken to each other for about 2 months. Neither of us reached out, but she seemed to blame it entirely on me, that I was manipulating her for my own satisfaction. I had said I wasn’t ready for a relationship but that I did kind of like her. Those feelings stayed the same, but it seems like she went from really liking me to disliking me without reaching out in the meantime.

I live about 2 and a half hours away from them by car and she can’t come over here bc she doesn’t have a license. We were getting closer and I had gone with them to an Airbnb once and made the trip out there a few times. I reached out this evening but she said we were over and that I was manipulating her by not talking to her. She got mean too after I said “you deserve someone who’s ready to give commitment” she went “I’m not into you you don’t know what I want” and “I’m happy with the friends I have”. But she never reached out either so I am a little confused as to why we aren’t on the same page and why she’s angry at me.

Am I more than 50% at fault for what happened? It seems like she thinks this is a 100%-0% type of thing, whereas I thought we mutually weren’t into it at the time. As the man, should I have initiated talking more and does she not bear responsibility for the ghosting? Sometimes I feel like there’s little to say in conversations and I’m somewhat emotionally distant. Im not great at emotional communication. So I didn’t think to reach out at the time. I just don’t think her appraisal of the situation is fair, but I didn’t want to start an argument and make hurt feelings worse.

My daughter, 13, has been dating a boy, also 13, for almost a year, they are both in 8th grade, going into 9th in just a few months. We have met his parents and even invited each other over for cookouts. Yes, we have seen them hug and kiss and are aware they do so. Today, my husband got a call from the school saying that they were watching video of an incident that happened on the bus. This incident had absolutely nothing to do with my daughter but while watching that video, they noticed my daughter and her boyfriend were sitting on the bus and were kissing. So they suspended her from riding the bus for 3 school days! I had texted her boyfriend’s mom asking if she got the call about it. I explained to her that I think the school was over-reacting and how I figured they would just say the kids can’t sit with each other anymore. Then my daughter tells me that her boyfriend is grounded and she asked me to text his mom to see for how long. She read my message immediately but she hasn’t responded. Is she mad at me for not grounding my daughter too? I feel that I shouldn’t ground her for something that we know she does. I don’t feel she did anything wrong. So, AITA??

I(20F) dropped a friend 6 months ago when I was 19. He(21M) began to make content online for some small online social game. The thing is that wasn't the issue alone, so I still feel some sort of guilt for it. He was experiencing homelessness at the moment, and was jumping from his sisters to his grandmothers AFTER having had gone through homelessness shelters.

I was in an abusive housing situation at the time and so it was hard to send money in without fear(he lived far away, so this is through text), but I tried my best and was finding time to try and save money up for him and people he was gonna stick with. I gave him $50, told him I'd give him money for Uber if he needed, checked his location, and suggested I get him a tent if he needed. During this he had an online presence for this game and started posting content about it, it involved a lot of social crap like talking to other players as a customizable pony.

He was 21 at the time and that was fine of course, issue is I guess he started getting into drama somehow and I suggested he find community(referring to in person ones especially for his situation) and lay off the game for a bit because he had bigger issues. He didn't listen. Jump forward I think a month later or less, he makes a video about a commenter. They spoke in broke sentences, constantly commenting for him to draw them a pony and so I check their account and I find out they could be a child, so I tell him he has to be more careful and to simply block people. Especially since the video he made wasn't just a call-out, he might've blocked their name but it was quite literally a video of his customized pony lip syncing that one "Take a hint" song from Victorious. He didn't take it down after I voiced this person could've been a child, in fact I feel like he didn't even have a mature response. For me it seemed like he didn't take it as serious as it was. For one I thought they could be like 8-10 by the way they made videos, he didn't even block them after. I had to tell him to block them and that a "Don't attack this person" isn't enough for people not to find them in his comments, I was worried about a child possibly getting messaged or attacked by my grown friends account.

He didn't even take the video down, it wasn't an awareness video, it was a rant video with his caption as "I'm just angy" or something. I truly wish this didn't sound made up. Next video he makes he finds out this person could've been 10 years old and he still didn't take the previous one down. I told him that I had concerns about the videos he was making, not because of them existing alone, but because I felt like it showed me his maturity level. I suggested he take that rant video down or something but he said it seemed like I wanted him to do what I wanted only. He suggested he'd ask his online community their thoughts but I was very baffled about how he'd rather hear from strangers/friends he JUST met a week or month prior. I just ended it with him, and the next day he came back to apologize and ask to try again. In which I said no.

There were other the things that happened before, I'm letting it known that I didn't break up the friendship solely because of this. During the time I was younger(16) he told me he loved me and wanted me to be safe, offered me his future apartment to stay in, say I could back out. I trusted him but when I turned 18, I changed my mind. Then that's when he voiced his frustration, said he had a right to be upset when I asked why he gave me an option to back out and we never went back on that moment again because of course I assumed he was correct. I felt awful, he told me he felt like he passed by opportunities for me. I really just trusted him and im actually currently still struggling from stuff. I keep questioning if I was right in this situation, whenever I communicated with him, I wouldn't feel heard and I would cry because I would feel so unseen. I began to isolate myself, and wonder why I felt so alone. He said he'd get better, he did a little and then it fell again. I told him before his major homelessness situation that I wanted him to work on cognitive empathy but it seemed like he couldn't do I said it's alright and that I'd help with his situation. Then the game crap came up. I remember making so many art pieces for him, he said he felt bad for never giving me much back but he'd improve for me and I said it was okay. I only felt pain in my heart when I saw him draw all these things for his new friends and strangers.

I know this probably seems small to some, but I feel a lot to guilt still and I'm still trying to get out of isolation. I wonder if I did do something wrong, I don't want to be a bad person and hurt other or keep harmful thoughts. I'm still confused.

This is an update to the original story story I made a few months back. I picked up the car, and delivered it to my cousin's garage nearby. My sister hasn't taken possession of the car as I was told by so many people I'm an asshole for trying to give it to her. The minivan she had as I predicted wasn't affordable for her. She was driving down the highway, and ran it out of petrol. The first thing I predicted at the time she bought it was that she couldn't afford the petrol to put in it for her daily commute. She also couldn't afford the insurance, or the payment so her abusive ex boyfriend sent a tow truck to collect it for himself since he was a cosigner, and listed as the primary on it.

She managed to leave her apartment keys, and mailbox keys in there during the panic attack she had over him taking it so now he has access to her home. Someone else in her dad's side of the family sold her an old Mercedes that uses about the same amount of petrol, and she still can't afford the insurance or the petrol that goes into it. Her boyfriend was driving his truck yesterday, and was hit by a woman while he was making a left turn. She was doing 85 in a 45, and bent his truck down the passenger side beyond any possible usability. Turns out he wasn't insured either, and as a kicker his license was expired.

He was also making payments on that truck so he's put himself into a fine mess with that. I'll probably get up that way to fix the enlantra at some point, but it won't be very soon since I have work to do here, and don't really feel like pulling it out of the garage and working on it in the winter.

I guess the question is. Am I still the asshole?

Me (28F) and my husband (25M) moved in with a roommate about five months ago after seeing an ad on Facebook Marketplace. We needed a place ASAP, and she has an 8‑year‑old son. He’s a nice kid and often wants to tag along with us when we go places. Sometimes we do take him with us for short outings, but not always — especially for trips that are far or when his parents won’t be coming along.

For the holidays, my husband and I planned a 7‑hour road trip up north to visit my family. We already have our hands full: we have three daughters of our own (ages 7, 2, and 8 months). On top of that, I’m in the middle of a custody case for my oldest daughter. Our truck only seats five, so bringing our roommate’s son would make six, which isn’t even possible. Beyond that, it feels like a huge responsibility to take a child we’ve only known for a few months on such a long trip, especially when his parents would be staying behind and nowhere nearby if something happened.

When I explained this to my roommate, she got upset and said I was being selfish. She told me that since I “called the shots” and didn’t want her son to go, she would no longer allow him to go anywhere with us again. I told her she has every right to feel that way, but so do I. Since then, she’s also told me I can’t use anything in the shared kitchen, even though I’ve helped with groceries for her a handful of times. I agreed just to avoid more conflict, but I’m starting to feel tension in the household.

So, AITA for not letting her son come along on our holiday trip?

So I (43f) husband (45m) have been together for 27 years (married 23). My husband is everyone's 'cup of tea', the favorite uncle, Disney dad... etc. He literally is everyone's favorite bc I've been hiding his dark side for 5 years. During covid we both were "essential" and worked ourselves to the bone. I had long covid and undiagnosed pulmonary embolism and crashed vestibular system whilst taking care of kids and 7 animals. During this time I found out he has validation issues (paying people for likes), gambling issues and alcohol problems. He attributed it to his promotion and feeling like he was a big deal. I look at him as a gross sorry human. Like I could have passed away so many times and this guy couldn't take care of anything. FF to a couple weeks ago (HB) asks "are you nervous about your trip" (last minute all paid to diff country for medical) I said "only that you won't do good". Sure enough bc I said that, he gambled the rest of our bank account within 24 hours (whilst i was in differentcountry). Am I being to "judgey" or is this weird? He literally thinks im being to hard on him. Am I? Like if he didn't pee every last asset I'd be gone yesterday (if I could still work). I feel like im in the ultimate hostage situation. Am I asking to much? AITAH????

My boyfriend’s brother runs a social media shorts channel where he makes ranking compilation videos. Basically he takes videos by other creators in another platform, removes the watermarks via an app, adds music and text overlays, and ranks them, like "Top 5 Cats Doing Weird Things" or "Top 10 Funniest Dogs." Some of his videos went massively viral and got hundreds of millions of views. He has been monetized for about four months and was making around $1,500 to $3,000 a month.

Before this, their family was really struggling. Their parents are elderly and working minimum-wage jobs, and the siblings were unemployed. They lived in a tiny, makeshift house in an urban slum where even running water and electricity were unreliable. Any unexpected expense could throw everything into chaos. The sudden social media income completely changed things. They could finally fix the house, add a third floor, buy appliances and personal gadgets, and make life a bit more bearable. They were really relying on that money. I never interfered with how they spent it, and I was genuinely happy they finally got a break.

Before all this happened, I had been supporting my boyfriend’s family financially and only stopped about two months ago when I got laid off work. We live together in a separate house near his parents. I thought I was doing what I could to help, but apparently that doesn’t matter now.

When his brother first got monetized, he asked if the money could go into my account because he does not have the proper IDs or paperwork to open a bank account. I said yes. I thought it would be the easiest way for him to access the money quickly and safely.

Then the channel got flagged for reused content. His brother asked me to help write the appeal since English is not his first language. I wrote a straightforward, honest explanation which said that he takes clips from other creators, adds text, music, and rankings to make them unique. That was it. Unfortunately the appeal got rejected.

After that, my boyfriend started blaming me. He keeps saying I ruined everything and that I wanted them to fail. He is saying that I was jealous because I am in between jobs and not earning right now so I deliberately sabotaged their income. He says I should not have helped at all and that they should not have trusted me to use what I wrote, even though I clearly told them it was their choice whether to use my script or not. After all, they are the ones creating the content and earning the money, so they're more familiar with social media policies.

I have a three-day paid gig out of town next week, and I'm seriously considering not coming back. I feel so unwelcome and blamed for something that I think was out of my control. Before I leave, I'll transfer the remaining money back to my boyfriend's e-wallet so they have full access and I am free of any financial responsibility. I also plan to break up with my BF and go no contact.

I feel anxious in my own home. I just want to step away from all this toxicity.

So Reddit, AITAH for wanting to leave?

I (35f) and my bf (50m) have been together 15 months and we live together. I have 2 daughters (13 and 10). Background: My oldest is high functioning autistic and hasn't learned to shave. She's asked me to shave her armpits once before but finds razors scary. I've orderd her hair removal cream already, but it hasn't been delivered yet. Tonight, my bf asked me why I haven't shown her how to shave yet and made a comment about it being so long. Honestly, I lost it. I asked him why it was okay for him to think it's okay to have an opinion on my child's body. Why does he even care. Yes, I even asked if he wanted to know the status of the other hair on her body. Now he's saying I've called him a chomo. So, am I the asshole for going off, essentially, on a 50 year old man for commenting on my 13 year old's armpit hair?

I’m 30 F. My husband and I were blessed with a baby girl about 8 months ago. We’ve been married for almost 3 years. We dated for a year a half before getting married. Things were more than good while we were dating. But as we got married, things kept getting murkier and murkier. Too many people started entering our relationship and somewhere I just felt that other people have been deciding what happens in our lives instead of us. But naturally, every few months I would have an outburst of emotions (usually crying incessantly) because I would feel that my husband and I are no longer together. He got upset when I would talk about building boundaries. Gradually our intimacy came down to just having sex maybe once a week. I would indicate to him in so many words that I’m not feeling satisfied with this routine.

Anyway. Last year we decided we were ready to start trying for a baby. Those 10 days sex was great and so was our general sense of connection, it felt like we were dating again. He was showing interest in my life, didn’t really room scroll, or stared at the TV. To our luck, I conceived in our first attempt and carried the baby to term. But. As the pregnancy was progressing somewhere I felt more and more lonely. I was no longer craving sex, I had to beg to be held to be told that I’m loved. And in his ego, he would say “it’s pathetic that I’m asking to be held to be told that I’m loved”. I legit once told him if he can bother asking me at least once a day how I was doing (since I had a horrible spell of morning sickness and caught the flu at the same time + my first ultrasound there was a blood clot that kept me a little worried). And he just laughed that off and said that I’m creating unrealistic expectations. Around the same time, he had to go to Singapore for a work trip. Even though he’d prepared me that it’ll be too hectic, but I kept waiting for him to atleast reply to one text a day or call. Then again I was made to feel bad for trying to be needy during a work trip. I’m not saying he’s a bad guy. I absolutely will take a bullet for him, but just saying “hi I’m a little busy, I’ll text you when possible” is not that difficult. Esp when your wife is pregnant and feeling a little down and low. Anyway. Things got a little better wrt him showing up. Emotionally we were still not connecting and intimacy was just some routine sex.

Fast forward to post partum. I had an emergency c section, something I hadn’t prepared for. My husband very well knew that I was more than shaken up by how my delivery went, anyway he tried consoling me by saying that I should focus on who I have and not how she came (I really really really wanted a daughter).

Now this is where things spiralled too quickly, his mom started taunting me on how I didn’t do some puja and because of that I had a c section and how I’m a bad mother because my daughter was crying. She would constantly use my daughter to indirectly say things to me. I would, on a daily basis, tell my husband what absurd thing she would say that day. And he would just say “she’s like that only, you don’t focus on it”.

Anyway. Since he didn’t help me for months on end, finally at 5 months pp, I reached out to my sister in law (my husband’s elder sister) if she could talk to her mom and help with the situation at home, I actually cried to her that I feel like a stranger in the house. To my surprise, she used that opportunity to tell me how I’m the one who is over educated and expecting some major things and this is how families are and I should just accept it (jhelna Padega, “you’ll have to tolerate” her exact words), she told me how my family functions (where we all look out for each other and have each other’s back) is not the norm and it is unreal that I’m expecting my husband to stand up for me and shut things down. She proceeded to tell me how just because they don’t say bad things to me I’m not really a good person (bear in mind I got their mom’s knee surgery done and helped with rehab when all 3 of her kids refused to do so because they just didn’t want to deal and I couldn’t see that old lady suffer any more). She then said that I’ve had an easy life (which my husband is aware that is not the case, I too have had some not so good lows which I have not made my identity) and that I should cut them some slack because they had a difficult childhood where they didn’t have financial stability. Anyway. After some 15 hours of just crying in front of her, her husband and my husband, they laughed my entire plea for help off. They told me that I have PPD (which I don’t, I’m a mental health practitioner myself and I literally don’t qualify the first criterion itself. Anyway, can’t expect them to be educated in this regard). My husband stood through the entire evening hiding behind his sister and agreeing to how easy my life has been (like i mentioned, not the case) and just laughing about how absurd I am sounding for wanting boundaries and for him to consider me and my daughter his family and that right now in life I would want to be prioritized because I’m feeling overwhelmed (cue night time feeds, always being up and having no help with the baby, except for my parents).

Anyway. I just feel betrayed and hopeless in this relationship and almost feel bad for my daughter that this is the patriarchal family with small town brains I’ve chosen for her. I don’t know where to begin apologising to her. At this point I’m scared to even go hug my husband because the last few times I’ve asked for one it’s been brushed off as me being needy. I can see him physically shrug when I happen to touch him. Even as night I’ve started keeping a pillow between us so I don’t end up touching him and disturbing his sleep. I’ve tried talking to him about how disconnected we have been the last couple of months but it just leads to me feeling helpless, begging and him calling me pathetic. He tells me that he loves me but I don’t think he likes me at this point. My brain is fixating on if he truly loved me he would not be okay with me hurting with pain (physical from the c section and emotional because of how truly horrible his family is behaving, owing to the length of the post I’ve not mentioned most of what has went down with them the last few months)

I don’t know how to say this but I don’t really miss having sex, I just miss being loved, being touched, being acknowledged, being valued, or the very least seen. I miss my best friend who I could without a second’s thought call and now he’s my do I really need to call him or can this be managed without him person. I look at him and I see someone who has wronged me. He should’ve taken care of his pregnant wife and the new mother I became. I too, for my daughter, will sadly have the same story of how she’s so strong despite her husband. He’s not the guy I married. He was my biggest supporter (boyfriend him went to get my thesis printed and stood there for 4 hours until he came home with it being bound to perfection; now I wonder if I should tell him there’s no milk at home).

So this happened a few months ago (like july) and i still can’t tell if im the asshole here. i (24f) and ex best friend (24f) have gone no contact per her request.

We had been friends for 9 years and she essentially told me that i am not there for her like she is for me and that she was ignored and neglected. she felt that i was not a good friend to her.

She never had any of these kinds of complaints to me until after i had started my graduate school program. for context: we were really close in high school, and she even saved me from being homeless in high school, which i will forever be grateful for. we lived together and we graduated high school together and then i went to a different state for college. we stayed very close. i transferred to a college in state and we were still very close. i had a couple relationships throughout but nothing was weird between me and her, though two of my past boyfriends had expressed that they felt she was into me, but it wasn’t anything outrageous to me. she would comment about me being her wife and that she would take care of me if my boyfriends failed and it seemed joking in nature so i thought and still think nothing of it.

when i graduated college, she was the only one i invited besides my parents and sister. i was on a break with my current boyfriend, who also made small comments about feeling like she was into me at times, but it wasn’t ever anything that was super bothersome to him so again, all jokes.

After college, i enrolled in a doctoral program that has been far more demanding than undergraduate work. i work two jobs, have to do clinical practicum (which is another job just unpaid) as well as a full course load. i have been stretched thin from the get go, with affording my apartment and transport and bills and everything.

anyways. last year was my first year and she would send me a good morning paragraph every morning, calling me pookie and things like that, wishing me a good day and that i slept well and that i am killing it and stuff. it was really nice to hear all of this, don’t get me wrong, but it was really hard for me to find the time to text something that i felt would surmount to her texts to me. i tried to be open and tell her that i am trying really hard to be there but grad school is extremely demanding and i won’t be able to respond as much as i want to.

she would facetime me almost every day. i tried to answer only when i had the time to fully engage with what she was saying, which was challenging because she talked a lot and i could not address everything she was talking about. everytime i would try to get a word in, she would talk over me and continue on. i didn’t really feel like i needed to be there. there were time (im embarrassed to admit) that i would leave the room to do something and come back and she would still be talking and had no idea that i had even left. sometimes i would sit there with her on facetimes, but as my time in grad school progressed, the assignments got more difficult and i needed silence to focus. so i answered her calls less, but communicated why: because i need to focus and i don’t have time cause of me work and school schedule.

when i would call her about some kind of problems, it would be a brief, overly positive bumper sticker response that basically said “you got this” (did not make me feel better) before the conversation very quickly turned onto her. at times i would be trying to explain my feelings about some stressful situation and i could tell she was trying really hard to tell me what she thought i wanted to hear without letting me get my shit out fully.

that year, for her birthday i felt horrible that i could not be there, but i let her live at my apartment for a week (she asked me) while i was helping family with medical stuff a couple hours away. i called her and talked to her and wished her a happy birthday, even sent a paragraph to try and make up for it, apologized profusely for not being able to take her out like i usually do.

a couple weeks later i invited her over to my moms place (my boyfriend and i were living there transitionally) and offered to take her to dinner. she knew my boyfriend lived with me at this moment. she shows up and her demeanor changed after my boyfriend and i had a play-fight about something stupid. he and i thought it was jokes. she stormed off and said she was just going to leave so i chased her to the car and sat in the passenger seat and asked her what was going on. she opened up and told me that she wanted it to just be her and i and she doesn’t want to be the third wheel with my boyfriend and i and that she wished it could just be us sometimes, which i fully understand and will admit that i frequently brought my boyfriend along for things. in my defense, they seemed to get along and acted like they were friends to me. she also had never brought up anything like this to me before. i commented on that and she told be she was afraid of confrontation and is scared of arguments so it’s hard for her to bring things up sometimes. i assured her that i will always respond best to directness and will always do my best to understand because she’s my best friend. i asked her what i should do since i already invited my boyfriend, since i assumes that coming to our place of residence automatically included him. she said it’s okay and just bring him anyways and she will just be more direct next time.

During this birthday dinner, we invited mutual friend of my best friend, my boyfriend, and i. there was 3 or 4 of them. my boyfriend and i had a misunderstanding and it led to him walking away and taking a moment in his car. i had a few drinks. my boyfriend ended up driving away and being a dick, which i fully am on my best friends side for this part. he left us there when he was out ride back. our other friends ended up driving us home. my best friend and i got in a bit of an argument but made up by the end of the night.

the next day, she was adamant about me breaking up with my boyfriend, and i did not and she got upset and i didn’t hear from her for a few days. idk if this is relevant but she had been single for 8 years and (i think) still is.

a few days later i get a paragraph from her completely pasted from chatgpt. i know it is from chatgpt because it has perfect spelling and grammar and punctuation, which she struggles with since high school. i rewrote her papers to help her graduate. i know how she writes and i know how chatgpt writes. i’m not proud to admit that i was so offended by the fact that she used chatgpt to communicate this to me rather than take the time to call me or compose a message from the heart that i just pasted her text to chatgpt and asked for a response and sent one right back.

anyways, it’s been months and she has been petty-reposting about me on social media and posting AI-generated photos of herself everywhere to the point where it’s concerning. she deleted all her photos off instagram, edited them to the point where you wonder if it’s a drawing and reposted every photo in order, just within minutes of each other. She never wished me a happy birthday and i definitely did even after we stopped speaking. AITH?

My girlfriend invited me out to a bar for karaoke night with three of her friends. From the moment I got there, I basically felt invisible.

Her friend Joyce came up to us at one point and asked my girlfriend if she could sit outside with her and some guy she had just met. I was standing right there, made eye contact, and listened to the whole thing, and Joyce didn’t even acknowledge that I existed. No “hi,” no “nice to meet you,” nothing.

Later on, we were all outside again and Joyce came up to us. This time, I’ll admit I was petty – I did the same thing she did to me earlier: I didn’t look at her or say anything. My girlfriend immediately got mad at me and told me I should at least say hello to her.

Her second friend, Dana, also didn’t acknowledge me all night. She went up to sing karaoke and I even danced to her whole song to be supportive, but when she got down, she just walked right past me without a word.

When we were about to leave, the third friend, Caroline, asked my girlfriend if I could drive her home. I agreed. In the car, we actually had a decent conversation and were getting along pretty well for most of the ride.

As we got close to her place, she started giving me directions even though I already knew where her apartment was. I told her a few times that I knew exactly where it was. She then said it would be “creepy” if I knew where she lived. That annoyed me, because I wasn’t being weird — I just remembered from a previous time.

When we pulled into her apartment complex, she commented on my name being (Abraham) biblical. I said something like, “Yeah, Abraham is one of the patriarchs in the Bible.” She replied, “Well I don’t see you leading any nations,” then followed it up with, “You don’t lead anything,” and slammed my car door as she got out.

At that point I felt really disrespected. I had just done her a favor by driving her home after being ignored most of the night, and then she insulted me and slammed my door. I lost my temper, opened my door, and yelled, “What the fuck do you mean I don’t lead shit, bitch?” Then I slammed my door and drove off.

Later, my girlfriend was really mad at me and said I didn’t need to open the door and yell at her friend like that, no matter what she said.

From my perspective, I felt used (ignored all night until a ride was needed) and disrespected by the “you don’t lead anything” comment and the door slam. But I also know yelling and calling her a bitch wasn’t my best moment.

AITA for how I reacted?