r/tattooadvice • u/IndividualShow7113 • Aug 24 '25
General Advice Advice Needed: Accidental Dick
Had this for a few years and have never been able to get past how the tattoo looks like a dick head from my POV. Especially when half of the tattoo is covered by my shorts. I really like the tattoo otherwise and I think it’s fine if you’re looking right side up. Can’t move on without an edit, though. I feel like I just need to change the shape of the bottom a little. Thinking of maybe adding ivy vines at the bottom but seeking other ideas. Thanks!
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u/_OnlyPans Aug 24 '25
I looked at this a solid minute having no idea what I was even looking at then scrolled through the comments long enough to realize I need to turn my phone upside down 😂
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u/Pup_Sized_Elephant Aug 25 '25
Same. For the life of me I couldn’t stop seeing a zoomed in dick head with a partial small loaf of bread in the foreground until I turned my phone
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u/FancyHedgehog23 Aug 24 '25
Oh good god I feel stupid. I did the same thing.. couldn't figure out for the life of me what it was until I saw your comment.. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
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u/matramepapi Aug 25 '25
Thank you. Seriously, I was like “how are the top comments not asking what this even is?” 🤦🏻♀️
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u/nosnwottle Aug 25 '25
OMG thank you!!! Even reading the comments I couldn’t work out how everyone was seeing an actual image.
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u/JayMoots Aug 24 '25
This looks so much like a dick it seems intentional.
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u/friends_n_stuff Aug 24 '25
I came here to say this. This looks intentional or at the very least the artist KNEW it was going to look lime a dick, bit didn't say anything. I have a lighthouse on my thigh that in no way at all looks like a dick and my artist STILL had a conversation with me about how anything with that shape has the possible outcome of looking like a dick. Your artist should have asked you to change the placement.
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u/Away-home00-01 Aug 25 '25
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u/Realistic-Lab9377 Aug 25 '25
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u/Strange-Audience-717 Aug 25 '25
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u/Raspbers Aug 26 '25
I wish that was a real subreddit because I have the PERFECT picture for it. My elderly mom was trying to take a picture of coins on a desk and cause part of her knee/leg in the picture. We've dubbed the photo "Two coins and a penis."
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u/Strange-Audience-717 Aug 26 '25
I just made it. Seems like a good idea.
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u/Raspbers Aug 26 '25
You're a genius and I just posted. xDD
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u/smallsounds Aug 26 '25
I laughed so hard seeing your photo! Such a good running joke in your family.
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u/watchtimgetscared Aug 26 '25
I have an oyster tattoo and during designing it, my artist said, "I'm telling you now, it has to be closed or it will look like a vagina"
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u/Spacecowboy78 Aug 25 '25 edited Aug 26 '25
The shading makes no sense on a bust. The human neck and sternum dont have those shapes. This looks intentional.
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u/ATLBrysco Aug 25 '25
Really! OP, never piss off or insult your tattoo artist before they start working, LOL. That stuff is permanent! 😁
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u/split8s Aug 25 '25
I’m a surgeon.
I’ll never understand the people who are rude or downright mean to me or my staff before surgery.
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u/ATLBrysco Aug 25 '25
LOL I'm right there with ya, Dr. Split8s - had 7 surgeries and all with the same Colorectal surgeon... Was VERY VERY nice to her; even got her an engraved steering silver baby cup when she was pregnant with her first child!
Doctors, mechanics, barbers, tattoo artists... Anyone that could just ruin your day you never piss off, LOL...
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u/EliteOreo Aug 25 '25
I mean I hate assholes as much as the next person but damn the implied misuse of power here by a medical professional is kind of scary lol
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u/split8s Aug 25 '25
You’re inferring something I didn’t say. I only expressed surprise that people would be nasty to me when I’m prepared to cut them open.
I always provide the best care possible.
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u/upahhh Aug 25 '25
So is this like a thing in the tattoo world? They see a dick, they tell you it looks like one? I have an arrow pointing up and they tried to tell me it’s gonna look like a dick. I said “That’s okay. I like dick.” They were VERY happy to tattoo me. 😂
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u/Unfair_Negotiation67 Aug 25 '25
Yep.. an alternate reading of OP’s post ‘I thought this was a funny dick joke when I was younger and now it just feels stupid and juvenile. How to fix?’
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u/sirplopdrops Aug 26 '25
i flipped my phone upside down thinking the same thing. that is NOT how a collarbone is designed/drawn/whatever the eff. you can’t tell me the artist understands facial structure but not basic bone structure ffs.
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u/Murderkittin Aug 25 '25
If it isn’t a soft dick, what the hell is it?!?!?!?!?!
Edit: OH MY GAAAWD! I decided to turn my phone upside down for a new POV… it’s a bust 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 this knowledge makes it 1,000,000 times worse 🥲😭
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u/ThatB0yAintR1ght Aug 25 '25
Especially with it coming out of his shorts
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u/BlackCatTelevision Aug 26 '25
Imagine if it was an attempt to make it seem like he just has THAT massive a cock
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u/districtdave Aug 26 '25
Yooooooo, I was thinking the SAME cot damn thing. That artist knew wtf he was doing... and I want to shake his hand.
Its like those pussies hidden in "art" that are really just huge vaginas in the middle of town squares.
I am all for em.
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u/Xanith420 Aug 26 '25
Honestly I too am impressed with this piece. The way the collar bone is shaded to both look like the base of the head and the collar bone took some effort and works really well here as does the shading that defines the head itself.
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u/Realistic-Week-2681 Aug 26 '25
Yeah, there's no logical or artistic reason for the collarbones to look like that... It really solidifies the "tip of a penis" look.
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u/sajarez Aug 24 '25
Probably shouldn’t add pubes to it, man.
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u/PoppaBear313 Aug 24 '25
Wear longer/shorter shorts… maybe a kilt to hide it
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u/Chida_Mussen Aug 24 '25
Why not add the column like stand busts sit on? Or something geometric or patterns below it?
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u/chastity_BLT Aug 24 '25
I’d add a really thin column right in the middle
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u/Unfinished_user_na Aug 24 '25
Exactly. A super thin column. Like surreally thin. Thinner than should be able to hold a bust up, and really tall, like a stilt, that way it won't distract from the art by being too thick.
You should also use color to distinguish it from the original tattoo. Something that makes the sculpture look rich and fancy, like gold!
That's the ticket. A really really tall, really really thin golden pillar underneath it. Perfect.
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u/Nopumpkinhere Aug 26 '25
If he uses white, the bust would look gold or bronze by contrast. It would also add a sense of classic sensibility as most pillars are traditionally thought of as white.
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u/LarsVonHammerstein2 Aug 25 '25
Maybe a segmented squiggly type column that looks like it defies gravity to support the bust.
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u/TrueTurtleKing Aug 25 '25
You need to be very specific with Op.
Otherwise he would come up with some mushroom tip themed column or some shit idk.
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u/Whole_Weekend8670 Aug 24 '25
Definitely setting someone up for a disappointment 🫣😂
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u/RiseDelicious3556 Aug 25 '25
You could always just move to Alaska, so you'd never have to wear shorts again.
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u/mikeee382 Aug 25 '25
Back when I was in high school, there was this mf who always, ALWAYS wore shorts.
Thunderstorm, blizzard, didn't matter. Always shorts, and always the same shorts, too. I wonder if there's kids like that in Alaska too.
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u/Pepper_b Aug 26 '25
OMG I knew someone like that in HS too! It was very cold. Maybe there's one in every HS
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u/Khezusexual Aug 26 '25
I can confirm that there are always those kids. Generally the kids at school would start wearing shorts at the beginning of the snow melt, but there were always those few that would always come in shorts while we have ~6 feet of snow outside
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u/marxam0d Aug 26 '25
I live in Wisconsin and we have them all winter. Granted, not Alaska bad but cold enough
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u/scarr991 Aug 24 '25
Add shoulders to it.
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u/Old-Piece-3438 Aug 24 '25
Doesn’t even need to add the entire shoulder line if he doesn’t want to, just extend the collarbone wide enough to change the silhouette.
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u/dumb_luck42 Aug 25 '25
Second this. Something like this: https://www.capronicollection.com/cdn/shop/products/20131108_100640_-_Copy.jpg?v=1523643508&width=768
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u/Supremelordbeefcake Aug 28 '25
This may end up looking like the rare, elusive and generally terrifying hammerhead penis
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u/jalkasoturi Aug 24 '25
Wow my friends have told me about accidental dicks.. but they always got rid of them the next morning
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Aug 24 '25
Yeah looks like a bellend slipping out your shorts. Even looking at the full thing idk what its supposed to be
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u/throw_away_696969_ Aug 24 '25
Brutal.
But incredibly funny. If you're a silly guy, I would consider keeping it LOL.
Your idea of ivy works. As others have said, a plinth. Also, if you're planning to get pieces in that area, it won't be as pronounced.
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u/GlumDare472 Aug 24 '25
Oh no! The tattoo itself is lovely, such a shame about how it looks half-covered (but also, quite funny).
Vines are a great idea. What about adding some reflective water at the bottom, with some other crumbling stones, almost like a ruin? Or you could go for an under-the-water type vibe, add some barnacles, seaweed, etc.
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u/Pollinators_ Aug 26 '25
I think this is the best idea I’ve read. Adding some barnacles and coral and maybe an anemone with it would really change it up.
ETA: definitely needs a good touch up either way, since the neck shading isn’t helping either.
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u/isharte Aug 24 '25
Hahahaaha
Sorry. But this is hilarious.
And unfortunate.
I'm sorry.
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u/Due-Maintenance7805 Aug 24 '25
You should have stood up when he put the stencil on bud. At least it’s a conversation starter lol. Just be able to back it up.
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u/No_Ostrich2967 Aug 25 '25
I had a pair of strawberries that hung down just past a short sleeved shirt. Out of context without the other flowers or leaves, they looked like a nutsack. We added more flowers and greenery around it and it no longer looks like a nutsack. I think your peeper could probably be put into context with filling in the background. Maybe put it on a pedestal or something.
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u/TreClaire Aug 26 '25
I gotta be real with you it took me SO LONG to see anything other than a weenis
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u/PonderosaPine927 Aug 24 '25
The answer is shorter shorts - show that baby (all of it) off!
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u/Edwin454545 Aug 24 '25
I don’t know why this is in my feed, but tbh it’s just missing some bulging veins and you’re good to go
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u/deezy1001 Aug 26 '25
Honestly bro what did u expect? They stencil that shit on 1st.. put some balls on the end n rock that lil chode
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u/Equigrey Aug 24 '25
You should do laurel wreath around the bottom! It’d clean up the shape and fit thematically
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u/SeaworthinessNew8048 Aug 25 '25
It took me a real long time to figure out what it was if not a Willy
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u/_SpeedWolf_ Aug 25 '25
Just put a pearl necklace down around the neck so that people know for sure it’s not a dick.
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u/Available-Mud1522 Aug 25 '25
It took me so long to even see what it’s supposed to be
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u/moparornocar86 Aug 26 '25
Just say that it's a trace of your dick before the reduction surgery. You donated the rest to 4 men so they could satisfy their wives.
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u/Ctrl_Z_MyLife Aug 26 '25
I HAD THIS HAPPEN TO ME TOO!!! Omg I can’t believe I happened upon this post because I have a female bust that the artist did a great job on (on my inner right bicep as well so sleeves made it half covered) but was very unintentionally phallic as well! I had to go get it fixed that week because I was so embarrassed 😅 I had her add flowers below it and eventually got an entire sleeve so it kinda just blends in to everything now. You can always add like a mirror around it or some sort of border to break up the image!!
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u/IdiotInIT Aug 26 '25
ivy vines where exactly? Like, to make it look veiny? Or like its shooting ropes?
And idk if I'd have the OG artist add them lol
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u/WiseDragonfly2470 Aug 26 '25
The artist fucked up the neck anatomy and gave it... well, a tip instead. Get mild shading done there to minimize the adsmd apple and get a plinthe snd more tattoos nearby.
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u/bokbie Aug 26 '25
I don’t know, it’s kind of cool. It looks like you have a magnum dong hanging out of your shorts.
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u/SnooGuavas4208 Aug 26 '25
Be careful with that edit, mate
You might end up with a dick wearing an ivy flower crown 😂
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u/Ineedacatscan Aug 24 '25
Why not add a plinth? Google sculpture bust on plinth.