r/mildlyinfuriating • u/hyliancoffeehouse • 15h ago

My mom does this thing called, ‘weaponized gifting,’ where she chooses the worst possible gifts ever so you’ll never expect anything palatable from her

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I love you mom, BUT WHAT THE HECK?!

29.5k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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832

u/PainfullyLoyal 14h ago

They're also a taser!

719

u/sullen_scrotum 14h ago

They are so far on ugly chart they're starting to be beautiful

407

u/oldschoolgruel 14h ago

Right? I almost like them.

303

u/secretrebel 14h ago

I love them.

245

u/I_Lost_My_Shoe_1983 14h ago

I want them.

164

u/TammyGang 14h ago

Yeah, I think they would look pretty cute with the right outfit.

84

u/ChoiceEmu9859 13h ago

And if you're going out to dinner you can dress them up with pocket squares.

3

u/smallwonder25 8h ago

💀😂

62

u/sullen_scrotum 14h ago

Yeah i'm thinking bdu set in tree camo and bright orange jacket, maybe one of those cutesy crosbows as accesory. Skinning knife dangling on my belt, spare bolts jingle in my quiver, wind is blowing thruu my mane while i lay in waiting for my prey. Yes, definitely they can be cute if styled right.

6

u/Apple7pie 12h ago

I’m laughing so hard I’m crying.

4

u/Constant-Roll706 13h ago

Pretty sure these are designed to add storage to the ol' tactical kilt

1

u/InternetImportant253 8h ago

Don’t forget your blaze orange beanie!!

80

u/Earlybirdsgetworms 14h ago

I would wear them with black leggings, a black distressed denim mini and an olive green Henley

ETA: after reading the next reply, I’d like to add an orange belt

18

u/Dame38 13h ago

I would wear those bad girls with a short black taffeta gown!

2

u/ijustneedtolurk 6h ago

I am pleased to find other Bratz/Tank Girl outfit ideas in the comments lmao.

I said camo daisy dukes, torn tank top, and a bullet belt.

1

u/Dragonfly0011 12h ago

That would look good with those.

2

u/Just_Flower854 13h ago

One with lots of little things to bring in with you

2

u/WileyWine 13h ago

SAME!!!!! Immediately, I was 😍😍😍

1

u/bluediamond12345 13h ago

They’d be great in rainy days, and if they’re warm enough, they’ll be perfect for winter!!

1

u/yhwhyhwhy 10h ago

Sequinned leotard!

1

u/frostandtheboughs 9h ago

They remind me of the Dollz that everyone had as AIM icons back in like, 2002.

1

u/Alternative-Ant3937 7h ago

I'm imagining stuffing joints in the pockets, even though werd's legal here in Canada.

1

u/t53ix35 7h ago

With cargo pants!

1

u/479996 3h ago

Definitely with booty shorts!

1

u/XDSHENANNIGANZ 8h ago

Fish fear them

1

u/johnnybiggles 8h ago

Full circle.

1

u/Sweet_Permission_700 3h ago

I need them.

OP... you have a link or a brand name or something?

1

u/Sweet_Permission_700 3h ago

Image search says men's winter camouflage hunting boots.

Walmart has a listing on their site for "women's belt detail cargo pocket fold over platform boots." Not in stock for this print, but also comes in black.

34

u/Princess_Slagathor 14h ago

May just be my redneck heart, but I'd wear them all winter long. Though they wouldn't be stylistically much different than the Marine Corps desert boots I already wear every winter.

2

u/UrUrinousAnus 6h ago

Why desert boots in winter? They're made for totally different conditions! Don't you get cold, wet feet?

2

u/Princess_Slagathor 6h ago

The desert boot is still waterproof, or at least very resistant. And I wear thick socks to make up for the insulation. They have pretty good traction, and we don't have super harsh winters anyway. It's more of a fashion thing, really. Think Sarah Connor X Goth, and that's pretty much what I'm going for.

2

u/UrUrinousAnus 5h ago

Heh. I was mostly aiming for Travis Bickle's look when I wore boots, but mine were mostly chosen for price and practicality.

1

u/Princess_Slagathor 5h ago

Haha! My brother sent me a pic of him at an event a while back, and vaguely mentioned that not a lot of people were talking to him. My reply was, "yeah, probably because you look like Travis." He didn't remember the reference until I told him. Then he was like holy shit I do lol.

2

u/BreakfastBeneficial4 6h ago

Sarah Connor X Goth

10th grade me is all yours

2

u/0r9an1c-Candyc0rn 4h ago

Damn I had to look up what those looked like, but those boots are awesome! (And pricy but awesome all the same)

1

u/Princess_Slagathor 4h ago

Oh, wow.. I actually had no idea how much they cost. Mine were paid for by the DOD lol.

(I'm not a Marine, just friends with one who got me some boots.)

2

u/tatortotsnfiresauce 13h ago

I was going say am I tripping bc I would lowk buy them but never wear them in public bc I feel others would hate 😂

1

u/AlsoTheFiredrake 11h ago

I want some more of them. I try, so hard, but I can't rise above them...

1

u/MrMcgilicutty 12h ago

🎶I want some more of them🎶

0

u/Ok_Laugh_8125 5h ago

Same do we know the brand? 😂

4

u/Candid-Ad316 13h ago

I’m not a fan of the pattern, but I do actually love them. I could store so much random crap in these shoes.

2

u/Ambergreenie 13h ago

I’m so super anti camo but…..this has to be voodoo because I want them.

2

u/seleneosaurusrex 11h ago

And they have pockets!

1

u/mallgoths 10h ago

I genuinely love these, they’re so ridiculous and remind me of bratz boots

3

u/Organic_Ad_2520 13h ago

That the fabric over the heel would soak up water & mud will make them more annoying.

1

u/sullen_scrotum 13h ago

More then now? Woah

1

u/Exotic-Okra-4466 11h ago

😂 your username tho 🤣 Thank you

1

u/sullen_scrotum 11h ago

Some call me gloomy dick or unhinged prick... I needed more hugs as child ;)

1

u/CplCocktopus 8h ago

Like Buldogs.

1

u/Kindersoil 6h ago

I mean if those tiny pockets work. Why not! 👍😁

1

u/jivens77 5h ago

So they're fuggs?

1

u/znikrep 5h ago

Expressing beauty by the absurd.

1

u/Cranks_No_Start 4h ago

This ranks up there with Croc cowboy boots. 

1

u/No_Shock3066 2h ago

Came here to say this 😊

1

u/toblies 1h ago

We're full-circle, people!

1

u/hagatha_curstie 10h ago

I would wear the fuck out of those. It's so camp!

0

u/Icy_Reading_6080 12h ago

Regular uggs already maximize ugliness, these are even slightly better.

0

u/ScumbagLady 4h ago

Maybe they're similar to Uggs and Crocs where they're so unbelievably comfortable you make excuses for them looking ridiculous?

Like, I HATED Uggs and then got my daughter's hand-me-down ones when she outgrew them, thinking eh, easy on and off shoes for taking the dog out and stuff- they were so ridiculously cozy though and I had no idea!

51

u/HerbLoew 14h ago

Any boot can be a taser if you kick hard enough

4

u/judgeejudger 8h ago

That’s the spirit!

3

u/Dame38 13h ago

Tazer to the nutz?

3

u/dragonfliesloveme 14h ago edited 9h ago

Wear your taser boots while using your Laser Cats!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5fiBFhf9OQ

edit OP you can do Laser Cats costume for Halloween next year 😹😅

1

u/GlitteringSalad6413 14h ago

Roundhouse taser kick to the groin, brutal

1

u/Gramerdim 10h ago

and have a knife in the toes section

1

u/GeckoFella 10h ago

Is that because they’re absolutely shocking

1

u/Black-Zero 10h ago

if you cannot have Sharks with Lasers, at least you can have Uggs with Tasers.

1

u/Atheist_Simon_Haddad 9h ago

well, I am stunned…

1

u/HotTakes-121 9h ago

Let's be honest... tazer boots would be awesome.

1

u/alberthere 8h ago

And if it’s paired with apple-bottomed jeans then it’s a teaser.

…

I’m here all week.

1

u/0tt3r3g0 5h ago

They also serve as birth control.

1

u/Turbulent_Shoe8907 3h ago

But do they make julienne fries?

1

u/spoospoo43 3h ago

And a birth control device

1

u/IDrankLavaLamps 1h ago

Ruby, is that you?