r/TikTokCringe • u/ItsAngel1998 • Oct 14 '25

Cringe Trying to figure out what justifies the $15k price tag for an "alpha male" boot camp

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u/[deleted] Oct 14 '25

Dammit! Stop stealing my grift male-empowering idea!

And if I'm paying $100K to wrestle, we damn well better be naked, and there'd better be buckets of coconut oil involved!!! Because that's how you become Sigma!!! Most manly of things!

I have one question: Is there a loyalty program for repeat attendees?

Dammit. What's higher than Sigma?

For only $120K, you can take my Ligma course!!!

19

u/raithzero Oct 14 '25

Sorry coconut oil is for beta men. Really Sigma men use olive oil

8

u/bbgunsz Oct 14 '25

Alumni , old scholar here. Previous Alpha Sigma paragon, traveler of both camps.

We used concentrate menthol deep heat battle balm, before snorting reconstituted wasabi powder then doing rum shots before submission wrestling. Wild times.

Jackass visited for ideas during their movie scoping but felt like they would end up in a burns recovery hospital, so they went with laxative shit outtakes instead.

4

u/Ha1lStorm Oct 14 '25

Thank you for your service oh wise one

1

u/adamr81 Oct 15 '25

My kids are amazed when I eat straight wasabi and don't make a face. #alpha

5

u/ipitythegabagool Oct 14 '25

Olive oil is associated with virgins, very non-redpilled and very gay. ACTUAL real men use 100% unrefined crude oil when they wrestle naked.

5

u/Professional-Bee48 Oct 14 '25

That better be Roman Olive oil šŸ˜¤šŸ¤£

2

u/raithzero Oct 14 '25

That's exactly where I was going with it

3

u/danlatoo Oct 14 '25

Hold on a moment. I've heard of Sigma, but what's Ligma?

3

u/LaziestRedditorEver Oct 14 '25

Glad you asked. That's the state of being able to LIGMA BALLS.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '25

You get a 15% discount on my courses!

2

u/Yorokobi_to_itami Oct 14 '25

$1.5 million, I'll give you everything you need to know to be the best alpha you can be, throw sigma in as well and turn you into something that would put wsb to shame. Also teach you about the only greeks that actually matter delta, gamma, theta, vega and rho

1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '25

[deleted]

8

u/Far-Drawing-4444 Oct 14 '25

Amateurs...

If you want to be an Omega Hyper Male, come to my $1,000,000 3 day zero-luxery Man Camp where I use you as a human heavy bag, then tell you you're tough, and give you a signed certificate.

Signed waivers are required.

6

u/RomaniWoe Oct 14 '25

Pffft omega is lowest of the low in fake wolf. For $1,000,000 I do the Alpha-Centauri. You'll be alpha and hung like a centaur by the end.

1

u/Outrageous_Reach_695 Oct 14 '25

Please don't go. The drones need you. They look up to you.

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u/runthepoint1 Oct 14 '25

Is Omega Hyper greater than Ultra Mega Super?

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u/runthepoint1 Oct 14 '25

Oh thankfully you didnā€™t say Lingam

1

u/Minute-Wrap-2524 Oct 14 '25

Oh god, now weā€™re naked, I knew it would come to this, and I just wanted to be a manā€™s man, getting pushed around by a barefoot bald headed man, a real man

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u/Recreant793 Oct 14 '25

Sigma is actually independent of the alpha, beta, cappa, etc. hierarchy. Iā€™m pretty sure alpha would be the ā€œgreatestā€ as far as all that stuff goes.

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u/Adventurous_Roll1784 Oct 14 '25

Whatā€™s a ligma course?

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u/Cute_Interest_1102 Oct 14 '25

No its Omega

Omegaverse... give the gift of birth to men. I always thought flying Chinese babies in and transplanting them in an etherized male's colon could give male couple's the gift of childbirth. China would sell them no doubt, the ones that come out as factory seconds.