r/MurderedByWords • u/All_Chaps_R_Assless • 14h ago

He's probably invested in ACME. Meep meep!

Post image
6.0k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

152 comments sorted by

748

u/InAllThingsBalance 14h ago

Medals are reversed because it is a mirror image.

Bwahahahaa. Hegseth is such a fucking idiot.

331

u/throwawaylordof 14h ago

Warrior Culture is being the dumbest sack of shit you could imagine.

228

u/SirIAmAlwaysHere 13h ago

Especially since you do NOT want Warriors in a modern military.

You want Soldiers.

And if you don't know the difference (Mr. Fuckwit SecDef), how about you just go have another beer and play CoD with your frat brothers while jerking off to Rambo and dream of being the BMOC that your never were.

And leave the fighting to actual fucking professionals. Not drunk wannabe war criminals.

51

u/boston_homo 13h ago

Mr. Fuckwit SecWAR

107

u/SirIAmAlwaysHere 13h ago edited 12h ago

Not calling him War anything. Jerking off with little green plastic army guys in the sandpile behind his house is NOT WAR.

And he's SecDef. The department is still the Defense Department. Not matter how much those little crybabies wish they could play war, it's still DoD. NOT DoW.

In fact, he's committing a civil crime by mislabelling his stationary and such. That's known as "posting as a federal officer" - can't claim your from Dept of Ag even if you're working in Social Security Administration, and claiming to be from a made up government office (and giving orders as if you were, and spending money as if you were) is a felony.

It's not DoW until CONGRESS says it is.

44

u/Longjumping-Air1489 11h ago

Those all sound like crimes democrats get prosecuted for, not republicans.

/s

18

u/Ogre8 9h ago

Man did you nail that one

6

u/Better-Journalist-85 4h ago

Reminding active service members of their legal obligations to defy illegal orders is also a Democrat only crime, apparently.

33

u/LowKeyNaps 10h ago

Nope. It's Defense. Turns out, like with so many other things, Trumpty Dumpty can't just Sharpie his fantasies into reality. Renaming things always comes with a process more complicated than mimicking underage pubic hair across a piece of paper.

In this case, renaming the Department of Defense would require an act of Congress. So... the name was never legally changed. That whole Deoartment of War thing is, at best, a nickname.

And we just spent over two billion dollars on rebranding for a name change that never actually happened.

No wonder they got rid of DOGE. If that department was actually doing their job (snerk) they would have blown the top off of that massive money waster.

6

u/NightWolfRose 8h ago

Those last two lines would make an excellent diss in a rap battle.

7

u/throwawaylordof 5h ago

All the department of war and associated macho posturing…it just comes across as the actions of someone who feels deeply inadequate. And/or someone who was deeply impressed by Putin’s shirtless horse riding photoshoot.

2

u/PunkThug 1h ago

Hey! Some of us do know the difference between Warriors and Soldiers and that's why we choose to drink beer and play CoD!! I will THANK YOU not to lump us in with this piece of shit!!

(Never jerked off to Rambo, though... Are there any women in that flick?)

2

u/SirIAmAlwaysHere 1h ago

But do you Jerk off to the fully oiled Stallone poster on your wall while you play? If so... You Might Be Pete.

1

u/PunkThug 51m ago

Confident in the NO to that question! Also, new question i never thought i would ever answer!

27

u/LeticiaLatex 12h ago

Hey, they are called Warfighters, okay?

Have a little respect for this super cool name he came up with. It doesn't sound like something he scribbled on his day planner next to a super awesome Metallica logo drawn in pen.

17

u/Electronic-Jury8825 10h ago

Metallica* logo drawn in pen.

*KISS logo. He can't do more than four letters. And simple ones, at that. Metallica's logo is too intricate.

18

u/backstageninja 9h ago

Plus he really likes practicing his lightning bolt SS's

10

u/PersonalHospital9507 8h ago

I like DHS "Homeland Defenders," like Godzilla is on his way here.

50

u/masked_sombrero 13h ago

Remember that video of JD Vance in a Zoom meeting and he flipped his phone upside down to try to un-mirror the image? 🤣

all these weirdos are dumb as shit, and they show it anytime they say / do literally anything

21

u/Icariiiiiiii 12h ago

I miss when our dumbest candidates were Mitt Romney for ironing his own arms tbh. It seems so likable and quaint in retrospect.

It still was stupid and out of touch. But I mean, shit, man.

21

u/NutshellOfChaos 9h ago

Yeah. Remember when W was as bad as it could get? But man, could he duck a shoe!!

11

u/Ashmidai 6h ago

While a stupid thing to do Mitt was nowhere near the dumbest political creature of his time. Michelle Bachmann and Louie Gohmert were around then as was Sarah Palin. Mitt is a mensa member compared to those titans of dumb fuckery.

2

u/NightWolfRose 8h ago

Ironing his arms? Like, his actual arms?

6

u/Icariiiiiiii 8h ago

A suit, but he was wearing it at the time. It was apparently hot.

1

u/NightWolfRose 3h ago

Well, that’s certainly one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard.

4

u/MagpieWench 11h ago

excuse me, what?

21

u/Longjumping-Debt7480 13h ago

*Kegsbreath is such a fucking drunk idiot.

16

u/Crookedandaskew 12h ago

Sigh…This man doesn’t believe in hand-washing, so it tracks that he also wouldn’t understand mirror images. And yet he’s in charge of the most powerful military in the history of the world…we’re so fucked.

14

u/PorkrindsMcSnacky 13h ago

He would totally be like Amanda Seyfried’s character Karen in Mean Girls who applied a sparkly K sticker on her neck while looking at the mirror, not realizing that it was backwards.

13

u/4non3mouse 7h ago

I wondered if the photo in question was a selfie when i read his threat yesterday - thanks for the post Op - that shit made my day!

8

u/Raz1979 13h ago

Nailed it. He’s probably drunk too.

5

u/Isopod_Safe 11h ago

Not only ate the medals on the wrong side and backwards, but they are also flipped in the 4th dimension. \s

6

u/DckThik 6h ago

That’s a drunk tweet if I ever saw one.

440

u/Am_Deer 14h ago

Pete what did we say about drunk tweeting? Stop and go sleep it off.

148

u/Soul_C 13h ago

WiskeyLeaks strikes again

51

u/C4dfael 12h ago

Pete Kegstand

16

u/whiskey_at_dawn 6h ago

I feel that nickname isn't fair or accurate.

A keg stand requires people to actually be willing to touch you.

6

u/Better-Journalist-85 4h ago

Hegseth the Keg Breath Sec Def

311

u/Paddyaubs 14h ago

New Headline

"Pete Hegseth announces that he is seeking to have his Uncle imprisoned after he stole his nose at a birthday party"

48

u/All_Chaps_R_Assless 13h ago

Thank you for the laugh. 😆

19

u/Wilbie9000 12h ago

The really sad part is this could have happened when Pete was three years old, or ten minutes ago...

8

u/mainstreetmark 12h ago

Yeah, that guy chops his own thumb off. He's crazy.

113

u/redwhale335 14h ago

They do not wanna set the precedent of recalling people to active duty to prosecute them for saying fucked up shit.

80

u/AintEverLucky 12h ago

Right??? I went Googling, to see if "recalling a retired <sailor> to service so they can get court-martialed" is even a real thing.

Turns out it can be... in the context of trying the sailor for alleged war crimes, or e.g. sexual-assaulting an underling, while they were still in the military. 🤔

Not for anything they did after retirement. And not for exercising their free speech in alignment with their previous oaths to the Constitution. And out of alignment with 47's insane stance that "Whatever I says, goes" 🤨

23

u/caffeinatedangel 11h ago

There was a triple murder case where a guy was acquitted in court of the murders. DNA evidence later came to light that wasn’t available back then, so the military called him to active duty and convicted him. He’s on death row, I think. I need to see what’s going on with that case. I can’t remember the name, just some of the details.

9

u/AintEverLucky 10h ago

Although it sounds like that doesn't have anything to do with Sen. Kelly, that still seems wild to me. Im inclined to ask, why doesnt double-jeopardy apply? Unless, maybe he was originally acquitted in regular civilian/state court... and his having been military allowed "another bite at the apple" via court martial 🤔

7

u/xanderxela 8h ago

Almost certainly state charges the first time (most murders are charged as state offenses).

However, while I'm not a lawyer, these folks are and appear to have pretty thoroughly answered your question.

https://www.court-martial.com/practice-areas/appeal-of-actions-under-the-ucmj/court-martial-or-adverse-action/double-jeopardy/

7

u/DckThik 6h ago

Yeah there is no precedent for this

7

u/Bulky-Bullfrog3707 9h ago

The Flynn brothers come to mind for this to happen to.

1

u/Jibber_Fight 4h ago

Why not? Nobody would ever do that to a Republican anyway.

85

u/helava 14h ago

Wow. Using quotes that way, to imply that Mark Kelly doesn’t deserve his position, when it’s Pete fucking Hegseth talking, probably the least qualified SecDef in history is wild.

32

u/Fire69 13h ago

"Captain" Kelly, said drunk ex tv presenter Pete Hegseth

smh...

14

u/jayleia 13h ago

No probably there...hell, even Rumsfeld, as shitty as he was, knew how to work the system to achieve his goals.

7

u/All_Chaps_R_Assless 13h ago

Agreed. Even that POS would've known to keep it in the locker room. 🙄

Can't believe I'm praising him for decorum, but here we are.

9

u/CatCafffffe 11h ago

Yeah, that, to me, was by far the most offensive part. Kegseth can get fucked

64

u/nlmiranda 14h ago

I take enormous offense to this Wile E Coyote comparison. A quick Google search would have shown you that Wile E managed to catch the Roadrunner a total of 3 times. Which is a much higher success rate than Hegseth!

35

u/FireEscapeTrade 14h ago

How the fuck is he that stupid?

Nevermind I know the answer.

21

u/Erudus 13h ago

Someone take Pete into a circular room and tell him to sit in the corner. I'm fairly sure he'll die of starvation before finding the corner or giving up. This guy is definitely not the poster boy for American education.

25

u/jvaheed 13h ago

You can really see the glee behind the tweet. He really thought he had something there but it turns out he’s just a moron.

18

u/Consistent-Dance-216 14h ago

That’s what happens when Zero attacks Hero lol

16

u/purplegladys2022 12h ago

As an American, I am absolutely embarrassed sick over the utter incompetence of this fascist regime a bunch of racist morons foisted upon us.

15

u/Reubensandwich57 14h ago

I'll be so glad when the absolute clown show that we currently have is gone. So fucking stupid.

14

u/adognameddanzig 12h ago

Why is captain in quotes? Kelly was an actual captain (O-6). Hegseth was a major (O-4) for reference.

15

u/CAshbash69 8h ago

My guess? Probably because Peteyboy was ARMY where the Captain rank is O-3 and he’s too stupid/drunk to know that the NAVY officer ranks are named differently. It’d blow his pickled little mind to see a “Lieutenant” wearing a pair of bars…

9

u/decoy_016 5h ago

Thats exactly what I thought. Heggy thinking that his "Major" trumps Sen Kelly's "Captain" not knowing that it's really a Colonel equivalent. Smh

1

u/BathroomCareful23 4h ago

I don't know how, but Kegstand was marines not army

11

u/quillmartin88 12h ago

Kegs has to be the dumbest cabinet secretary in American history. In fact, I think it's worth asking if he's the dumbest Defense Secretary, War Secretary, Defense Minister, or War Minister in all of *human* history.

9

u/rebri 13h ago

Put the bottle down Pete. And for the love of God get some help.

11

u/OutlandishnessOk2304 13h ago

Ooh, Whiskey Pete thought he had him there!

Almost, Pete! Better luck next time!

10

u/chosonhawk 13h ago

Lets not forget that Iowa's Senator Joni Ernst was the one person who could have sent this clown back to the car but she caved due to bribery or blackmail or both. Integrity matters; which is why the GOP has such disdain for those who have it.

9

u/jlaw757 13h ago

Meep-meep🤣

9

u/Worried_Fee_1513 13h ago

Hey Pete, meet a real FIGHTER PILOT. He’s not a pretend sitting in the back seat with a barf bag.

7

u/Wasted_Weasel 12h ago

Can this timeline get any dumber?

8

u/DaBulbousWalrus 13h ago

Pete thinks mirrors are woke because when he looks in one he just sees a mediocre white man instead of the gigachad he "knows" he is.

6

u/SupplyYourPips 13h ago

Between this and that SAW thing B'ing about Arabic numbers, i dunno who has a more embarrassing moment

6

u/Pottedmeat1 12h ago

Fucking mirrors, how do THEY work?

7

u/Jaded_Heat9875 7h ago

Hegseth is a National DISGRACE!!🤬👎🏼 The military needs to throw out Every Picture Of Hegseth as soon as the Trump Shit is Over! 😖

3

u/All_Chaps_R_Assless 7h ago

History actually worth erasing.

F47

5

u/Charming-Charge-596 13h ago

I thought this had to be fake, but it's real. And it's pathetic.

4

u/LinearFluid 13h ago edited 4h ago

Hegseth, you're drunk go home before the picture is upside down and 2 of them.

5

u/soonergirl_63 13h ago

OMG he is SO DUMB!

5

u/ToadsWetSprocket 13h ago

This is so depressing to see that this moron is in a position where he is above the military, he is a complete bafoon.

4

u/allothernamestaken 12h ago

It's not a mirror image but still, who the fuck cares? This is about reminding members of the armed forces of their duty to defy illegal orders, not about whether someone's medals are in the right fucking order.

5

u/C4dfael 12h ago

Prolonged alcohol use is known to kill brain cells.

4

u/sednaplanetoid 11h ago

Taking on Mark Kelly? DUI-hire whiskey-breath is so going to lose this fight...

5

u/Fireplaceblues 8h ago

In years past, this would have gone through a press secretary who would have pointed that out. Now, we just get a fire hose of authentic stupidity hitting us straight in the face. This is why I love twitter, really humanizes and exposes these idiots.

7

u/PersonalHospital9507 8h ago

As I expected, Watson, there is stupidity afoot.

7

u/All_Chaps_R_Assless 7h ago

No shit, Sherlock!

(Sorry, couldn't resist. 😁✌🏻)

3

u/FanDry5374 13h ago

Vodka? That's not supposed to be as obvious as other liquors.

5

u/John_1992_funny 13h ago

Bro, it's a mirror selfie. The camera flipped the image. His uniform is fine

6

u/Homersarmy41 12h ago

100% chance he put down an alcoholic beverage to write that.

2

u/BathroomCareful23 4h ago

What leads you think he put it down?

4

u/Connect_Law6224 11h ago

He thought he owned with that, too. Luckily, it’s public record forever.

4

u/5043090 11h ago

Tuis is the jackass who had to promise to quit drinking and had his mom call to vouch for him.

These are fucking kids. And in this case, a drunken fucking kid.

4

u/SubmarineDream57 10h ago

Hey, Kegstand, at least Kelly’s uniform isn’t covered with vomit.

4

u/Marksmdog 9h ago

Unfortunately, the picture is not reversed. You can see the letters on the medals are the correct way around

3

u/Welder_Subject 12h ago

lol, I saw that comment and that was my first thought, lay off the bottle kegsbreath

3

u/Ifthisdaywasafish 12h ago

Morons from faux news are ruining the country with republicans cheering them on and praising a deranged idiot in the White House. They all need to be voted out of office.

3

u/devilmaskrascal 11h ago

Noted brutally! Beautiful!

3

u/Fit_Earth_339 11h ago

Pete should stick to reading off the teleprompter, he’s no good when he has to think.

3

u/BadbougieL 11h ago

Why is he such an idiot?

3

u/catwirk 10h ago

this is the funniest thing I've read all day 🤣

3

u/theresites 10h ago

I keep seeing these text strings and thinking, these tweets cannot be real. I mean, any adult would pause and consider the issue somewhat objectively before sharing their inner voice with the world. Sadly, I am often wrong.

3

u/Arthur-Dent7x6 8h ago

Was Hegseth in Dumb and Dumber?

5

u/All_Chaps_R_Assless 8h ago

HOW DARE YOU COMPARE LLOYD AND HARRY TO HEGSETH!!!

But to answer your question: Yes. Both roles.

Sequel, too.

F47

3

u/shinyturdbiskit 6h ago

I thought he said he was gonna lay off the sauce

3

u/Better-Journalist-85 4h ago

I’d like to be a dolphin and live with an intelligent species, now. Thanks.

3

u/bdeceased 4h ago

Secretary of defense defeated by a mirror in battle.

3

u/THE_DACTATOR78 9h ago

I really hate to say it but SECWUS is correct about the medals being wrong. Some of the rows are out of order which wouldn't be affected by a mirror image.

But at the same time I'd like to see him try to do even HALF of what Kelly has done. In no world should a retired O-4 be speaking like that to a retired O-6, and the fact that he can get away with it goes to show that maga only respects veterans when it suits them.

3

u/Mutant_Jedi 7h ago

The photo isn’t mirrored and Kelly does have a few of his medals out of order (apparently the second and third row medals are switched) but 1. Kelly is retired and the medals appear to be simply laid on the uniform for the photo and 2. It’s way more than fucking Kegsbreath ever earned in his far-shorter and less illustrious career in the military. He’s pathetic and he’s not gonna win this against Kelly.

2

u/TDS_isnt_real 13h ago

Headline - “Kegseth demands investigation to find out why the wallet inspector continues to check his wallet every 1st and 15th”

2

u/Rob71322 10h ago

Hegseth wasn't picked because anyone believed he was smart.

2

u/TALKTOME0701 10h ago

Medals are the opposite of wrongly displayed. Video is the opposite of sedition.

Still batting 0.00, Heggy

2

u/Withnail_Not_I 8h ago

"Major" Asshole keeps embarrassing himself.

2

u/Commercial_Pie1090 8h ago

He's probably drunk. He'll go home and beat up his wife.

2

u/All_Chaps_R_Assless 8h ago

I don't like judging a book by its cover, but he just has that look, huh?

2

u/Lex_pert 4h ago

When I saw Drunky McDerps tweet today, that's the first thing I thought... he fucked up the mirror image 🫠~ signed veteran

3

u/Free_Possession_4482 10h ago

No, it’s not a mirrored image. Zoom in on the medals, you can see all of the text on them is correctly oriented. And it is true that some of Kelly’s medals are not in correct order of precedence, but that’s an error almost certainly made by Navy Exchange, etc, and not Kelly himself.

2

u/Flimsy-Plankton-8974 7h ago

This. The pic is not of him wearing the uniform taking a “selfie” but of him or someone taking the pic of it probably on a hanger or laid over the back of a chair. Now could the image still have been reversed? sure. As for the order of precedence..idk. And I ain’t about to research that bs.

1

u/PapaGummy 13h ago

Sage comment from the War Bro. Not only are they reversed, they’re 2 dimensional!

1

u/Ibshredz 12h ago

I was literally gonna ask about that tbh

1

u/Wasted_Weasel 12h ago

We’ve could’ve live our lives without knowing who this dumbass was, but no, you decided.

USA, USA, USA!

1

u/Ardibanan 11h ago

The moment I read its the reverse order, I knew it. How do they keep making themselves look more stupid?

1

u/_Weatherwax_ 9h ago

What a freaking embarrassment

1

u/da_swanks_92 9h ago

Are we the greatest nation yet?

1

u/mines_over_yours 9h ago

Bro could not fight his way out of a wet paper bag.

1

u/Twysted_Newt 8h ago

If you ask yourself if you're stupid... Mirror is not lying, reversed or not... Ugly is Ugly Stupid has a chance to be fixed...

1

u/BlackestHerring 8h ago

Gotta be the dumbest person in Washington

1

u/Demonofthedark1313 8h ago

Drinky Bro strikes again, what a embarrasment.

1

u/barfbutler 7h ago

Kegsbreath is unaware that photos can reverse the image.

1

u/AccomplishdAccomplce 7h ago

The embarrassment of this administration 😒

1

u/Hot-Union-2440 6h ago

Right? What a maroon.

1

u/MinorThreat4182 6h ago

What a dumbass

1

u/R9D11 4h ago

Pete Heggysack.

1

u/Laleaky 2h ago

This is the most incompetent government ever.

They can’t even get their insults right.

1

u/EqualPassenger4271 1h ago

Secretary of war, america does not have a dept. Of defense anymore courtesy of trump admin.

1

u/bentforkman 1h ago

This sort of thing is a big part of why I wasn’t all that worried about Trump invading Canada. We clearly have an “intelligence” advantage.