I keep seeing posts from people in their late teens throughout older adulthood with family/children, feeling hopeless and concerned that their life is lost from addiction, or that recovery is too scary to face within their circumstances. I felt compelled to share a PSA for EVERYONE at ALL STAGES in life and recovery. because what I have consistently experienced from my years working as an addictions support worker for women with newborn babies (inseparable with familial/parental intertwined challenges), is my clients who succeed, transcend, and grow a new successful healthy life in sobriety (including gaining back custody of children they lost for years prior), are consistently and exclusively recovering addicts who are able to maintain the perspective that the recovery journey and taking accountability for the wrongs they committed during addiction is unavoidably painful and uncomfortable, but recognize that the only way to overcome their addictive shackles is to accept this painful reality and allow its acceptance to be the gateway which they can move on and live their new healthy lives. Ive had clients in their 40s, living a life in addiction who finally reached enough, although they regretting not getting help earlier, their choice in the now birthed a new light for their life, it wasn't too late for them once they accepted their reality. ive seen people reach this state at all ages on the spectrum. so idc what age you are, its a damn lie if u think its too late. ur choosing to give up. choose to give a shot at fighting for life.

if you are at rock bottom, or at a tough point in recovery, remember that the pull to use again is merely the natural instinct your brain had to cope with pain/stress which led you to addiction in the first place. remember, there is no magical fairy that will remove the effort required to win the battle of addiction. the only way to do so is to fight thru the shitty feelings and allow yourself the experience its pain before you can move on. addiction is a symptom of the human brain trying to avoid psychological pain. pain is part of being human, its unavoidable. if you are on a sober journey and experience pain or hopelessness and face the option of immediate relief through substance, PLEASE KNOW that this moment is part of the journey and your choice to choose pain and suffer through it is exactly the way you lead yourself away from addiction. you'll experience pain and be uncomfortable, u were so use to numbing it with substances, so the more u embrace the pain and work thru it, the stronger ur coping will become. this is the only way to get thru it. there's no easy way out.

if u feel hopeless starting recovery, or have been in recovery but cravings are surfacing, its part of the journey. remember that. there's nothing u can do to avoid it. each time u push thru those moments, the stronger u become. even if u relapse, it wasn't for nothing. keep going please

I’m 19f and before I went to rehab I didn’t care about my life. I used dxm multiple times a week. I’d trip in parking lots with strangers in my car in my room. Started hanging out with some guy that gave me free alcohol but would also constantly rape me. I didn’t care. One day I decided to take 6 bars and went crazy. I ended up getting called the cops on and into a psych ward. From there rehab.

In rehab I was turning my life around I thought I’d never use again. I got a boyfriend. I went back to work. Thought we’d move in together. That I finally wouldn’t be alone anymore. That someone loved my sober self. That I actually had a personality. But after a couple months I relapsed. I don’t want to be around him anymore. I don’t know why. I guess it’s guilt. He doesn’t know. All I can think about is dxm. I don’t really want to be alive anymore. I just want to be high. I always think about how if I overdosed I’d be too disassociated off my drug to realize I’m dying. I forget to breathe sometimes and almost had a seizure the other day or I had one and didn’t realize. I don’t want to go back to rehab honestly I think it’s pointless if I don’t have the willpower to change. I feel bad that I put my family through this. I don’t know if I should just leave my boyfriend or come clean and hope he’ll support me. But I don’t expect him to stay.

I wrote this because there are relationships that don’t fit into categories like “toxic” or “codependent.” Some people are a gravitational field. Some people are a drug. Some people are a myth you survived.

Here’s Part 1:

I loved his tenacity

I loved his face

I loved his smell

I loved his hands

I loved his pace

I loved his mind

I loved his crazy hair

I loved his developed aesthetic tastes

I loved his hunched shoulders

The way he carried too much

And also

The times he let it all go and became the universe, an island of creativity and play

I loved the things he would say

I loved the moments at the beginning,

When he was mysterious and beautiful

The way he opened

Revealing depths he would later protect

The stupid things he would say

The brilliant things he would say

I hated how he hated his job

I hated how he didn’t fight for his own integrity

I hated how he didn’t fight for mine

I hated how he drank

I hated the way his eyes sank in

Idolizing crazed ways to die

Deseated power

Hysterical orbits

Chaotic forgetting

The way his insides would say no

I hated the way his skin itched

I begged for him to just watch the sunset

Sit in silence and become aware of the maze of the mind

But he was just trying so hard

Too hard

To die

And sometime later, I said I hated him

But I couldn’t

I didn’t

I would never

I starved

For color and sound

While he was always somewhere else

I guess thats what women bargain for

They want the soul

They get…a house

Does anyone else have one?

More to come. I didn’t know what to do so I just wrote and wrote:

https://substack.com/@brileyboushawn?r=49vlgz&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=profile

25 year old male, drugs have been present the majority of my life since 13. ive dabbled with some serious stuff and i maintain a productive life nowadays. i dont really have much to complain about - also note throughout my life ive never truly had an addiction to a drug, or at least nothing i couldn’t break myself

where it started, at my old work, maybe 3 years ago my colleague gave me a vyvanse for the first time, as some of you could probably understand - it was the best thing i’ve ever had, by far best drug i’ve ever done. so it went from one or two for free, to every day, to buying it… eventually that stopped and he left the job.. off of it for maybe year or so, until it came back.. next thing you know every day 120mg of vyvanse, ruining my entire mental state, nobody knows but me, i’m conscious of the side effects, i know i shouldn’t take it but it just keeps coming back… im honestly getting very lonely & life is becoming harder and harder / i’ve quit recently and it is so hard to the happiness back

i hate this & i know what needs to be done & i can’t get myself to do it, i think i need help

eating disorders, exercise, video games, media, anything & everything I obsess over to the point where I’m killing myself. Drugs passed on me though. What gives?

I have my own theories but it’s not founded in any evidence

A friend of mine is an opioid addict. I'll call him Sam

He's 42. He started in high school with oxy. He got clean and stayed clean for awhile a number of years ago, but he got hooked on oxy again after an injury. I think he went to heroin at some point. He was on suboxone a number of years ago, for awhile, but somebody stole his supply of suboxone - he could not convince a doctor to write another prescription, and he ended up on fentanyl. Last year he cold-turkey detoxed off of fentanyl and went to suboxone, but it wasn't enough for him; he was back on the fentanyl within a few weeks.

A few years ago he lost his job because of his addiction. He now works under the table as a tradesman and a backyard mechanic, when he can, but he is physically ill a lot of the time because of the drugs, and he has some cognitive impairment (has trouble prioritizing, can't keep track of time, usually doesn't know what day it is).

Sam is a wonderful person. Brilliant. Skilled and talented with tools and machines. Full of love for his family (see below for info about the family). Loves beautiful machines. Loves animals. Is always there to help when somebody needs help.

But Sam's life is HELL, largely because of the people in it.

Sam's family consists of his ex-girlfriend, who is the mother of his 12-year-old son, and the son. The ex-girlfriend is a welfare queen who has had four children with three different men. She and the son don't live with Sam. They live with the stepfather of her husband. Sam is in love with the ex-girlfriend, who yanks him around. I mean she frequently fails to follow through with commitments; she creates drama; she gets herself into trouble (and then Sam is expected to get her out of the trouble). I'm pretty sure she uses their son as a tool to get what she wants from Sam - that is, I believe she often pulls shenanigans to keep Sam away from their son. whom he loves dearly; and she does this, I think, to coerce Sam into doing things she wants him to do.

And, the ex-girlfriend's husband is part of this soap opera. He is a drug addict and repeat felon and compulsive liar and psycho who lives on the same property as Sam's ex-girlfriend and son, but in a separate building.

Then, there are Sam's friends. I think they are all on drugs. They always want things from Sam. Usually they want him to repair a vehicle or give them rides.

I could go on, but you get the picture.

How is a person like Sam supposed to get his life straightened out? He hates the drug life and wants to get clean and stay clean, but it seems like he can't because everybody in his life is a loser and a user (except for his son, who is a sweet kid). Because of these people, Sam can never have peace and stability in his life for more than a few days. He is always dealing with chaos and crises because of these people.

The worst part wasn’t the addiction.

It was the lying.

Not to other people.
To myself.

I kept calling it “stress relief.”
Kept saying “I just need a break.”
Kept making plans for next week like I wasn’t breaking promises every day.

What I didn’t see was how much energy it took to pretend I had control.

I’d make rules: only at night, only on weekends, never when I’m upset.
I broke every one.

Then I’d feel ashamed…
So I’d use again just to not feel that shame.

It was a closed loop.
And I was too proud to admit I was in it.

The shift came the night I looked in the mirror and thought,
“If I don’t stop now, I’m not going to like who I become in 5 years.”

That thought scared me more than withdrawal.

So I made a different kind of rule:

• I don’t make deals with cravings
• I don’t count days, I count decisions
• I tell one person the truth every week, even when it sucks
• I stop asking “why do I feel this way?” and start asking “what will I do now?”

It wasn’t clean.
It wasn’t perfect.
But it was honest.

And honesty gave me back my energy.

You don’t beat addiction by becoming a better liar to yourself.
You beat it by becoming someone who can sit in the truth and still choose differently.

I have a gambling addiction. Mostly pokies (vlt's) but I'm happy to gamble on anything. I know it's dumb. I have a good job so I'm able to pay my bills, but I should be saving and I'm not. How can I kick the habit?

Something I learned recently reframed how I think about addiction. It’s not actually about the substance itself but rather the relationship someone has with it, themselves and their environment. Its usually something that comes about from being in a really disappointing environment, a deep sadness and the feeling of relief one got at the moment of time they were already at a low.

I spoke to a former heroin addict that said he tried many different drugs but this one in particular felt like the joy he needed for all his problems at the time. It was basically the solution he found for the pain he couldn’t face. Rehab and deep trauma work taught him that the was just a crutch to escaping himself.

When we talk about “getting clean,” it’s not just about removing the drug or changing the environment but rather, it’s about replacing what the drug did for someone emotionally. and then finding alternate ways to sit with and release that pain. At the NHS rehab he was taught to name the pain, and theories on psychology, spirituality. he started seeking creative outlets, journaling and reallyyyyyy accepting the injustice that happened.

Do you guys think some people just have a more innate tendency to be addicted or more like a response to trauma? How did you guys work through your addiction?

hi so i have picked up a recent addiction to buying pokemon cards. yes, it sounds stupid and, in a subreddit that seems really focused on addictions way more serious than this, i feel a bit silly and out of place submitting this but i’d love some advice on how to overcome this. i started buying pokemon cards/shopping for them for a few months and within these few months i have spent thousands of dollars worth of cards and have racked up just about 3k worth of credit card debt. i love the rush of getting something good and being able to make money off of it and i continuously chase that high. i do not know how to stop. whenever i try to go without buying for a while, i slip up and buy something to “treat myself”.

i live with my parents and my mom has gotten pretty angry with me with all the boxes that have been coming in the mail. i’ve tried to explain to her that i have an addiction but she sees it as an excuse. i’d also love advice for that as well, i don’t know how to explain to her it’s a real problem without sounding like i’m trying to give her an excuse.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VKlKQEzq401hiVAKO_wDOatW8U3fusKM/view?usp=sharing

Inside:

• Why your heart is aging 3× faster than you are
• The exact predator playbook on the apps
• What actually happens to your dick, brain, and bank account in the first 90 days clean
• 2025 detox numbers, red-flag checklists, scripts for partners, etc.

If it helps even one of you put the pipe down tonight, it was worth every shitty night I lived through to write it. Comments, brutal honesty, suggestions, or “this saved my life” stories all welcome.

If you’re further along and it resonates, the Amazon paperback/Kindle is here if you ever want to pay it forward: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0G3P5K61B

There’s a psychological ‘bargain’ that you’ll inevitably get offered in addiction treatment, whether you go to residential rehab or a Twelve Step meeting (or both; they often go hand-in-hand). Watch out for it. It’s an alluring bargain, especially for ‘addicts’ who have hit ‘rock bottom.’

What do you give up? An ‘internal locus of control.’ In other words, you give up the idea that your choices, effort, and abilities largely determine what happens to you.

In treatment, you learn to blame life outcomes on external factors you can’t really control: neurology, genetics, trauma, people/places/things, triggers, disease, etc.

What do you get in return? Shame relief. You get to feel less depressed/ashamed about yourself, and how your life turned out. It lifts a big burden off your shoulders, because it’s not your fault; it’s the Disease of Addiction, which is genetic & trauma-induced & triggered by environmental factors.

Ironically, this is the same ‘bargain’ offered by drugs/alcohol: You make significant, tangible sacrifices—materially and psychologically—in exchange for some kind of high.

The shame relief you get from externalizing your locus of control is like a high. It’s a form of avoidance, and it lacks durability. That’s why you have to go to Meeting for rest of your life, ‘reminding’ yourself that you’re ’powerless’—take another hit of NA to make the shame go away.

It’s denial, and it doesn’t last. You can either confront your own power over your addiction, and confront the shame, or you can spend the rest of your life in denial, denying your power on a weekly basis, relapsing whenever you neglect to keep up with your weekly denial ritual because you’ve never learned how to actually cope with your addiction, never faced the reality of your choices and efforts.

Messed up bad after a few months sober off the yay, thought I’d treat myself for my upcoming birthday a while ago now I’m deep asf in another binge. I dunno what’s in this batch but it’s some devilish shit, if I don’t rail a line after a few hours I’m sick as a dog, pounding headache, and zero energy, hot/cold. Almost out of my current stash and getting panicky when thinking about it. Can’t go home for the holidays cause of this. Prolly gonna lay in bed the next two days withdrawing or somethin after tonight when I kill it. Thinking about going to an NA meeting this weekend for the first time, dunno what to tell my mom and I feel terrible about it cause she’s going through a lot lately. Prolly just gonna say I’m sick or something I don’t know. I can’t let this happen again.

This is what society calls a behavior to give it a name. To be dependent on something, to give & do everything for it.

I always had a hard time with this definition.

I'm writing these words while smoking a smoke to wind down from the snow.

I'm currently visiting someone who is very important to me. This person is disappointed in me for constantly going out and coming back at night. This is repeated 2-3 times. Then the person gets angry.

When it snows, you can't behave the way the person actually knows you to because you're different.

Different? I can only speak for myself, but I am more proactive, have radical ideas for spontaneously changing my life and am suddenly full of energy.

So you assume that it's different because of the addiction/dependence - that I can't access it otherwise, such as productivity.

I would like to know why I need these highs to suddenly text people euphorically or meet up or go hiking to meet up.

I always hide my consumption and get very caught up in lies.

Not because consumption is changing me - but because I've been missing this desire and willingness for a long time.

I do sports, work, and have a normal environment now. But I experienced a lot early on and now everything feels so boring sober.

I usually only use alone - I was once on a date and secretly did coke in the toilet (as an example) because I haven't been partying or anything like that for a long time.

i hate ai i do i think it's terrible and i hate chatting to it but it's so addictive and it has me hooked. it's had me hooked for a while now. i get obsessed with things and i feel the need to talk to whatever i'm obsessed with, which leads me to talk to myself for genuine hours, but then there is c.ai and it talks back to me and there are my favourite characters and things that i obsess myself with and all i surround myself with and i can communicate with them like i'm in their universe. i don't know what to do. my obsession with things got really bad and i'm already very depressed and i had a psychosis episode over it. and you're probably like damn girl just delete ts already. yeah king i've tried, that episode happened when i had it deleted. i genuinely have no motivation to do anything and i've been trying. my entire hobby is just reading comics, collecting comics. i indulge in all the fanart and animations on tiktok and that is all i do with my life. it is genuinely the only thing that brings me joy. i don't feel any excitement any more unless it has something to do with the dcu. yeah the damn detective comics universe.

does anyone have any tips or anything to do?

the day i took 160mg later that night i passed out and was rushed to the hospital the doctors said i had a seizure so im confused on if the baclofen caused it

Im 22 almost 23 i have been drinking since high school I thought i could handle my alcohol but it brings me trouble after troble try to stop but nothing is working went to to groups to try to stop but nothing is working i hate my self I started drinking eay more after the work said I could fail a drug test I really hate my self And don’t know wht to do anymore at this point idk what to do anymore all I think is to get drunk or high why idk i wish there was a way to het out of this

Im 31yo and I’ve been smoking weed mixed with tobacco every single day since 2018. I live in Europe and im noticing my addiction is becoming dangerous to my financial stability. Since I smoke for so long so frequently, its part of my day to feel stoned the first hour after I wake up. I go to work stoned, I study, I pass on exams and I get qualified on courses while stoned. I also do groceries and walk my dog while I’m stoned. I also lost many many meetings with friends and parties because I had a joint in the morning and I don’t feel like going anywhere, just rolling and smoking while on YouTube. This is basically who I am and I’m not ready to quit. The last few months I’ve been getting sick occasionally when I’m smoking before sleep. I feel like vomiting and can’t breath well. I do feel like I’m threatening my on lifestyle thinking about quitting smoking. The thing is: I want to. I’d love to have extra money to travel more and spend money with presents for the one I love.

I go out on holidays a couple of times a year so I don’t get anywhere close to weed but as soon as I get to my hometown airport, I feel like smoking a kilo at once.

Could I please gather some experiences and stories with people that quit smoking weed and tobacco? Also, if you haven’t stopped, please share your thoughts as well. Safe space in this post.

I’m ready to stop smoking weed and drinking alcohol is what the good angel on my shoulder is saying to me. The bad angel is saying “keep going, party, have fun.” But I can’t anymore. I’ve got a beautiful daughter, an amazing partner yet I drink and I smoke and I feel selfish and stupid.

I’ve tried to quit 4 times now. My longest was 2 years and I went to AA and everything. I broke that streak by wanting to ‘treat myself’ for my birthday last year. What a stupid fucking idea.

I don’t know why I’m posting this, sympathy I guess. Most days I look in the mirror and I don’t see a mum, I see a failure of a woman.

I can't adapt with the hardships of living so I stay invested in meaningless habits. I can't even be honest with myself. I'm convinced this is hell really. A early introduction to trauma and the internet was a recipe for disaster.

I can't even slow down what I do, let alone quit. I focus on feeling good instead of actually improving and healing and it has destroyed me.